


The Adventures of Loki and his Commander

by The_geeky_fangirl



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Badass Reader, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fix-it fic, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Infinity War, Kinda, Loki x Reader - Freeform, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Post-Thor: The Dark World, Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Pre-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Reader is hafl Jotun half Valkyrie, Slow Burn, Thor - Freeform, Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Thor: The Dark World, angsty, loki laufeyson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:41:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 55,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24059917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_geeky_fangirl/pseuds/The_geeky_fangirl
Summary: (Y/N) is the general of Einherjar, the Asgardian Army. She has a penchant for glory and an unyielding love for her people- but she also has a secret. One that would undoubtedly warrant her banishment from her realm. However when this secret reveals itself to the Raven-haired prince of Asgard instead of banishment she receives a hand of friendship.Can she survive the misfortunes that follow Asgard in the coming years- misfortunes that the dark elves, the Allfather and the Goddess of Death will bring? Can she figure out the ever present mystery of what happened to her mother? Can she endure the loss of the only person she has ever loved?Follows the story of Loki and the Reader through the events in the MCU.[SLOW UPDATES]
Relationships: Loki (Marvel)/Reader
Comments: 41
Kudos: 114





	1. Chapter 1

You cursed under your breath as you made your way to the throne room. To say you were apprehensive of having even a conversation with the now-king of Asgard was an understatement. You never crossed paths with Loki and you intended to keep it that way but it seemed things were unwillingly to go how you wanted them to.

Being an Asgardian soldier-and one of your ranks at that too, it was near impossible for you to avoid any meetings with the king. You never minded them because you have found that it was rather easy to fool Odin- he hardly ever paid any attention to the people individually. Loki however threatened to be a different case. People always took your trepidation for the raven haired Prince to be mistrust and in a way it was- you didn’t trust Loki to fall for your deceit.

“Your highness,” You greeted as you kneeled down in front of the royal throne with your hand across your chest- an action that had almost became a reflex for you. You’d been used to the formalities of it all by now- which was more than you could say for the sight in front of you.

Loki was sat on the throne with his horned helmet, the royal scepter in his hand. His legs were spread out and about- a stance you’d never catch another royal dead sat in. You couldn’t deny it- Loki sat like a slut.

“General (Y/N),” He said curtly and motioned for you to stand. “How come we’ve never met before?” His words didn’t sound like mindless small talk- no it sounded like they held purpose. You’d hoped he called for you because of some army matter relating to the forthcoming war with Jotunheim and you still tried to tell yourself the same may be true. He was the king of Asgard now after all- his first priority would be the kingdom, not solving the mystery of why he’d never met some army general before.

You just gave him a polite laugh, “I suppose there’s a first time for everything my lord.”

“Yes I suppose so.” Loki appeared to be thinking something and you feared he may not give the topic up.

“Does his majesty have any concerns regarding my warriors?” You asked trying to shift the exchange back to what you hoped it to be intended for. “I would imagine that’s the reason I was summoned.”

Loki ignored your words and just gave you a puzzled look before his face broke out in a mischievous grin. Nothing that could mean anything good you assumed.

“Tell me (Y/N),” Loki started as he got up from his throne taking slow and torturous steps down the stairs that elevated the throne to a platform. “What are the chances of a prince,” He had now well reached the bottom of the steps. “having never met one of the most applauded generals of his kingdom.”

Damn you and your yearning for glory, you thought to yourself. Had you lived a lowly life in Asgard perhaps as a mere peasant you wouldn’t be in this situation right now. He could still very well not be aware of your parentage, you argued. But you knew you were just humoring yourself. He was the God of lies after all and some would argue keeping a secret was a lie in and of itself.

“None. I’d say.” You said maintaining the humorous tone form before, “After all we’ve finally crossed paths haven’t we?”

“Yes we have General, but you’ve successfully avoided my company for over a 100 years now, if I didn’t know any better I’d say you were _trying_ to avoid my presence.” There it was. You thought as soon as the words left his mouth. You knew you shouldn’t have played so safe around him but considering this was how your first meeting with him was going it was justifiable why you’d been weary of his company.

Loki still had that grin that you now wanted to knock off his face. It seemed it was impossible for you to not want to punch Asgard’s king whether it be Odin or his sons. You speculated whether you should laugh his words off like you didn’t know what he was talking about or indulge his questions and try to come up with some viable answer. But alas you didn’t have time to come to a decision.

“What are you trying to hide (Y/N)?” Loki asked, he had now moved to stand close to you and you were almost intimidated by his presence. His eyes were boring into yours but you denied him the satisfaction of finding anything but cold hard rigidness in them. Your mouth broke into a smirk itself as you realized there was no way he could ever find out which what you were trying to hide- he could just speculate.

“I’ve just been busy that’s all.” You said. “And we’ve all got our secrets your highness. I can assure you mine are not nearly important enough to be of any concern to any Odinson.”

If your words had made Loki mad he was great at hiding it because all you got from him was a chuckle as he shook his head in what appeared to be amusement. “You see the thing is (Y/N),” Loki said as he took a step toward you decreasing the already smaller than you’d like space between you. “Everyone’s secret in the castle concerns _this_ Odinson.” His hand came up to hold your wrist and you were taken aback by how cold his hands seemed, to be bothered by how hard he’d gripped it.

A unique sensation started creeping up your forearm from where Loki’s hand held it and it seemed Loki had noticed it too somehow. You brought your hand up to eye level as you glanced at it to see what was happening. You were stunned to see what you did. Your hand had started to turn blue from where Loki’s skin met yours but that wasn’t the surprising part- Loki’s hand itself had started to turn blue too. You quickly freed your hand from his before you your eyes shifted to beside the throne to make sure no guards were standing there. They weren’t.

In fact no one was around in the throne room and you were too relieved to question it. Loki must have wanted to speak to you alone if his true intentions were to find out your secret- which might you add he did. “You’re a Jotun?” Loki asked his voice was hard to read. He sounded confused but at the same time pleased- though it was mostly just confused.

“I’m sorry for the common language my liege, but you’re one to talk.” You shot back holding your hand from where he’d held it moments ago. You were trying to stop your skin from turning back to its true form.

“I don’t suppose it’s meant to be common knowledge that one of the Odinsons is a Jotun, is it?”

Loki ignored your question; he didn’t have any interest in whatever it was you had to say. “Who are you?”

You realized just because the God of mischief himself was a Jotun did not mean you’d get a free pass. You couldn’t blackmail him into letting your secret stay a secret you had to find some other way. “I’m still the same General, loyal to the throne of Asgard.”

“Why?” He asked but this time it didn’t appear he already had an answer. He wanted to know and he _would_ listen what you had to say. “Why pledge your alliance to _Odin_ if you’re a Jotun?”

The way he had said his father’s name stuck with you. It sounded like he despised the Allfather. Something you could use to your advantage. “My alliance lies not with Odin but the _throne_ of Asgard and as I understand _you’re_ the one that holds my undying fidelity now.”

Something shifted in Loki’s eyes though he hid it as soon as you had noticed it. “Why?” He repeated his question only more firmly now.

You decided you had no option left but to tell him the truth. “I’m not just a Jotun,” You said as you took a deep breath “My mother was a Valkyrie, my father a Jotun. I _am_ an Asgardian even if the throne may not recognize my parentage as pure. I’ve kept it a secret because I knew people wouldn’t accept me. The Jotuns would refuse me as would the Asgardians.”

You moved your hand to Loki’s and held one of his in both of yours. “Please don’t tell anyone.” You said squeezing his hand slightly. “I beg of you.”

You willed your face to still remain firm and unyielding but you could tell your eyes were giving away the desperation you felt. If Loki did not agree to shut his mouth you were going to be in big trouble. Loki’s eye’s shifted from your hands that were holding his to your face. He appeared to be searching your face for something while you were dying of anticipation. His eyes were unreadable so was his face but then again you had been terrible at reading either.

“I won’t.” He said lifting a huge weight off your shoulders. You closed your eyes as a smile made its way to your face- a genuine one. “Thank you.” You meant it. You didn’t care if he was just doing this to have something to use against you in the future. And you didn’t care if he was doing it out of the goodness of his heart. Whatever the reason was- you were thankful.

“Does anyone else know?” Loki asked almost sounding concerned.

“I suspect Heimdall does.” You said letting go of his hand and bringing them back to your sides. “He does see and hear everything, doesn’t he?”

“Not everything.” He said with a smirk and you would have asked him what he meant but you decided not to.

Loki’s eyes were back on yours as he gave you a reassuring smile. “I’ll make sure no one else finds out. You’ll be okay.”


	2. Chapter 2

Loki was sat in a room-that should really be referred to as a prison if you ask him staring at the wall in front of him, his back to the door that was the only way out of this room. His mind was feeling much better than it did when he was under Thanos’s influence which was a good thing considering Odin would be hearing him today. _Everything will be alright._ He told himself again and again every time his confidence would waver about what was to happen to him.

_He knows I was under the influence of the mad titan._

Even while reasoning with himself a part of him still didn’t believe his own words. The part that was always neglected by Odin, the part that lost the throne to Thor because of his parentage. Odin hated him and he knew that. Should he run away then? Even if he wanted to he couldn’t- his magic didn’t work in the room. _Mother’s not going to let anything happen to me._ Yes he knew his mother loved him. Or did she? Was her love also a part of an act like his father’s had been?

“Shut up.” He whispered to himself, his voice on the verge of breaking down. And he would have too- broken down, if it weren’t for the sound of the door opening and closing behind. He got up from the bed and turned around at once to see who it was. He had expected to see some guard with food in their hands but was surprised to see her. (Y/N).

“What are you doing here?” Loki asked moving towards her.

“We don’t have a lot of time.” She said not really paying attention as she set a tray of food down on an ottoman nearby. “I’m here to break you out.”

“ _You’re_ here to break _me_ out?” He asked skeptically.

“You can thank me later.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you.” Loki scoffed.

“Listen we don’t have time for this.” She said as she moved to stand near him before pulling a necklace off from around her neck. “Wear this. Now.”

“(Y/N) you don’t have to break me out.” Loki said moving his hands to her arms holding them and stopping them from moving. “I’m not a prisoner.”

“Are you sure? Because there are about four of my men waiting with chains in the corridor to take you to Odin.” She sounded urgent and worried and Loki believed every single one of her words. Of course he was a prisoner here but he couldn’t let himself believe that.

“Why would you want to help me? You’re Asgard’s general, your loyalty lies with the throne?”

“Commander now actually.” She replied and the little pride in her voice didn’t slip past Loki. He just rolled his eyes at her- he gathered if she were to be caught here trying to help him she’d get in a lot of trouble, yet she still couldn’t stop boasting.

“And yes I did pledge my loyalty to the throne but you saved my life.” She said her voice earnest. “I owe it to you to help you out. And you may believe you’re not a prisoner here but I know you are. You need to run.” Her eyes were looking into his and she nodded at him urging him to listen to her.

He did listen to her and he did believe her. But he couldn’t run. “This is my home (Y/N). Odin’s wrath would melt for his son.” His words were empty to him. Odin hated him, Loki knew that much but he still couldn’t let himself believe that.

“Do you really have faith in what you’re saying?” She asked him.

“I have to.” He said looking up at her his eyes starting to tear up. Though he still tried to keep his face rigid and cool even if his eyes were giving away all the fear and frustration he was feeling. (Y/N) gave him a sad look. He didn’t let himself break down- he couldn’t let himself be seen as weak.

“It’s not safe for you here. Trust me.” She said still trying desperately to get him to agree with her. Loki wanted to kick himself for not letting her break him out but he couldn’t- he had to believe Odin didn’t hate him and that he wouldn’t do anything that wasn’t in Loki’s best interest. He needed to believe he was still an Odinson.

“You should go; Heimdall can probably see you right now.” Loki said as he stepped away from her. He tried to keep his voice devoid of emotion- he had already let her see his vulnerability. She had to leave.

“He can’t.” She said shaking her head and holding the necklace up. “It’s a charm. It can keep me cloaked even from Heimdall. He sees what I want him to see and right now he is seeing nothing more than the Commander standing guard outside your door. So again, I’m begging- you come with me.”

“That necklace must have cost you a fortune.” Loki commented ignoring the part of her speech that was asking him to leave with her.

“That’s not important right now!” She said as she clenched her hands around the jewelry in frustration.

“How could you afford it?”

She gave him an incredulous sigh and he just gave her a shrug in return his mouth turning up into his infamous smirk. “I sold my mother’s Dragonfang.” She said not looking him in the eye.

“You did what?”

“Listen it doesn’t matter okay?” She said and her tone was starting to turn into that of anger now. “It was gathering dust sitting under the floorboard of my room anyways. I didn’t have any use for it not to mention it was incredibly stupid of me to hold on to it for all this time. If anyone would have found it I would have a lot of questions the answer to which I couldn’t give.”

  
“But this necklace,” She said moving her hand to grab one of his. “This necklace can help me get you out of here, so stop being a pompous ass _your highness_ and come with me if you want to live.”

“I told you I can’t leave.” Loki replied plainly ignoring her rather offending words. He was more conflicted right now than he had ever been in his entire life. He wanted to leave with her but he couldn’t- he had to stay. He had to believe he was safe here _in his home_.

“Besides why are you so persistent about helping me?” He said through his gritted teeth. He didn’t like being conflicted and she was the reason he was exactly that right now. He didn’t need her help and she was a fool to offer it in the first place.

“Because I owe you my life!” She yelled. “And I don’t like being in anyone’s debt.” Her anger seemed to have reached its crossing point now but Loki couldn’t be bothered to feel even a little bad about it. She should have known better than to offer him her help.

“You helped me and now I’m helping you. I understand that you have to trust your family but I can assure you it’s not a wise thing to do. You may think you can trust Odin to treat you like he treated Thor when he attacked Jotunheim but you know he won’t. Why can’t you see that I’m trying to help you?”

Her words had hit Loki’s deepest insecurities and he was not only angry at her but he was also pained. Pained because he knew what she was saying was the truth- but the stupid boy in him that still just wanted to please his father would not let him believe that.

“How dare you speak to me like that?”

“Loki you know I’m right.” Her voice was full of desperation now. Loki could hear someone approaching the door and he was sure (Y/N) could too. “You’re not the same as Thor in Odin’s eyes. He would have never let him fall to his death from the Bifrost like he let you.”

“You should leave.” He whispered out trying to maintain a calm and collected voice when really her words had been like knives to him. She was correct and Loki was too much of a fool to admit that.

The sounds of the footsteps became louder and it seemed (Y/N) had realized she couldn’t change Loki’s decision to stay. She gave him a last glance before she walked up to the door and swung it open.

“I’m sorry you’re too stubborn to let me help you.” She said in a low voice before she shut the door behind her and left him alone in his prison.


	3. Chapter 3

You shot back the alcohol drowning it down your throat in a single throw. The burn it left behind was familiar and pleasant- it had been quite the chaotic day what with the dark elves attacking and the death of your queen. Your army was exhausted and pillaged but you knew this was just the beginning. Odin would want a war and for the first time in your life you agreed with the man- you couldn’t let some ancient fairytales pull a stunt like that and get away with it. You didn’t like war by any means but what other choice do you have- you couldn’t let them take the Aether that simply wasn’t the Asgardian way. No you would fight and protect the nine realms from Malekith’s terror like you’d sworn you would.

Just as you were about to get up from your table to get another drink from the bar someone slid into the chair opposite to you sliding a mug of ale in front of you- Fandral.

“You surely know how to get my attention.” You commented before accepting the drink from the warrior. Even though you weren’t the best of friends with Lady Sif and the warrior three being the commander meant you were acquaintances.

“Let’s hope I can hold it longer than it would take you to down that ale.” You gave him a smirk before chugging the drink down as fast as you could, making sure to keep your eyes on him the whole time.

“And you’re done.” He said as soon as you set the now empty mug down on the table.

“Don’t worry I’m still listening.” The conversation that followed was interesting to say the least. It certainly wasn’t anything you’d imagined.

“Mutiny?” You asked in a somewhat amused tone. “You’re asking the commander of the Asgardian army to commit treason of the highest order?”

Fandral gave you a persistent look and you gathered he wanted you to take this seriously but how could you? Sure you were never a fan of Odin and his rule but the people of Asgard needed to stand together now more than ever. You detested Odin that goes without saying but turning your back to your people- that you couldn’t do.

“(Y/N) I know you care about Asgard and you would never want the massacre that would unquestionably follow if Odin has his way.” Fandral said and you could tell from his tone he thought he had you- which he might have but you weren’t about to admit that.

“He’s the king Fandral that’s his privilege and burden to bear.” You replied unbothered and insistent.

“What? To have people lay their lives down for him to feed his grief and ego.” Fandral sounded bewildered but you just shrugged as if it was the way of the world- because it was.

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.”

He gave you an incredulous scoff and you moved your eyes to look up at him narrowing them. “I have a question.” You declared folding your hands on the table and continued with his nod. “How many drinks have you had to be so openly talking to the- and I cannot stress this enough _Commander_ of Asgard about you and your friend’s little ‘secret’ coup if you will. You do realize I can inform the King of your plans and all of it would come crumbling down in a matter of minutes.”

Fandral clenched his jaw no doubt getting annoyed with you but all you could offer was a cheeky grin to him. “Because,” He said after collecting his thoughts. “I trust you to do what’s best for our people. I trust you to lay your life down for our people to feed them a chance at life.”

You relaxed back into the chair clearly not pleased. Letting out a sigh you weighed your options. Lead your army into battle and die for Odin or help the Odinson with the possibility of only losing your life and saving your soldiers’. _Damn._

You grumbled before giving Fandral the most annoyed look you could muster up. “What do you want me to do?”

* * *

“What are you two doing here?” You asked your voice authoritative and harsher than it usually would be when addressing your guards.

It seems your firm exterior was working as the guards shared a troubled look before one of them spoke up, “We’re just keeping watch on the midgardian, Commander.”

“Yeah well I ordered for all the guards on this wing to retreat back to the throne room ten minutes ago.”

“But what about-“

“You don’t have to concern yourself with the midgardian anymore. Leave.”

The guards left at once and you entered the room that held Jane Foster. Hearing you enter she turned around at once her face rigid and her hands balled into fists by her sides. “I’m not hungry.” She said at once.

“Good thing I didn’t bring food then.” You replied and motioned her to follow you. “C’mon we have to go.” On noticing that she wasn’t behind you a tired sigh left your lips. “You can trust me- I’m with Thor.”

It appeared she had some questions to ask but you told her to keep quite till you reached a more secluded place. You doubted you would actually make it to the secluded place but there was no reason for her to know that now. Whatever question she may have she could ask Thor considering you would most likely be locked up in a prison cell by the end of this- that too if Odin was feeling forgiving. Why did you agree to this again?

As you turned a corridor you were met with Thor and Sif standing with Loki beside them. You glanced down and noticed his handcuffed hands before quirking an eyebrow at him. “Last we met I recall you saying something along the lines of not being a prisoner?”

He gave you an aggravated look which you very well were expecting, “Last we met you were still betraying the throne, _Commander._ ”

“What can I say Loki, I guess old habits die hard.” You retorted. Your words seemed to have caught Jane’s attention as her eyes shot up to Loki.

“You’re-” She started but of course Loki had to interrupt her.

“I’m Loki. You may have heard of-” Before he could finish Jane’s hand had connected to his face as she landed a no doubt unpleasant slap. “That was for New York.” She said her voice not wavering once.

Loki smiled and turned to look at Thor and for a person who just got slapped he wasn’t acting like it. “I like her.”

“And I think I’m in love with her.” You piped in your face wearing a shocked but impressed grin.

“I’m afraid she’s already taken Commander (Y/N)” Thor adds with a laugh and you roll your eyes at him before Lady Sif interjected.

“Not to disrupt the little moment you all are sharing but Heimdall must have already told the Allfather. We must move now.”

You were nowhere close to where you needed to be before Odin’s guards (yours since you were feeling extra cocky) caught up with you. Just as they started approaching and you readied yourself to fight them Lady Sif held you back.

“I’ll hold them off. The both of you should go.”

Thor thanked Lady Sif before taking off with Jane by his side and you started following after them with Loki beside you only you couldn’t go much further before he was stopped by Lady Sif. “Betray him and I’ll kill you.” You had no doubt the threat was very much real but Loki’s chuckle indicated he might not have thought so.

“It’s good to see you too Sif.” He simply replied.

You shook your head deciding you didn’t have time for this before grabbing one of Loki’s arms and dragging him along with you. “Last time we met you were so persistent on helping me out your harsh grip on me right now might just lead me to believe you don’t care anymore, my dear (Y/N).” Loki said in that pesky tone that was unique to his own voice.

“I don’t care _my dear Prince._ I tried to help you and as far as I’m concerned that makes us even.” You replied through gritted teeth. “It’s not my fault you were too gullible to accept it.”

“Now you’re just being plain rude dear.”

You ignored his remarks seeing as you had reached Malekith’s ship now only a few steps behind Thor and Jane. “This is as far as I’m going. I’ll try and buy you as much time as you need.” You said turning your back to Thor and the others before unsheathing your sword and holding it out in front of you.

Volstagg appeared beside you and held one of your shoulders. “They are going to be fighting against an army of the Dark Elves I think they might need the Asgardian commander with them if possible.”

You look up at him about to argue before realizing he had a point. You nodded at him and joined Thor back again though you decided to keep your sword out and on hand. You decide to stick with Loki again seeing as he was still handcuffed and had little to no means to protect himself. He was very important to the plan and you had to ensure his safety.

But of course before the two of you could follow Thor and Jane Volstagg had stopped Loki as you thought he would. “If you even think about betraying him-”

“You’ll kill me? Evidently there will be a line.”

You nod at Volstagg as he lets Loki pass- his arm back in your hold. “You’re a little too smug for someone who received two death threats in a day.” You commented at him- you would be lying if you’d say that you weren’t a little amused by his behavior.

“Just a tad.”

The four of you soon enter the crashed ship and Thor was stood in front of the controls clearly a bit at loss before he just randomly started pressing buttons. It would be an understatement to say he looked a bit unsure of what he was doing.

“I thought you said you knew how to fly this thing?” Loki asked looking at Thor with an exhausted and baffled look.

“I said ‘how hard could it be?’”

You hit the back of your head against the wall you were leaning against. “You don’t know how to fly this damned ship?” You asked trying not to lose it. You came so far only to be unsuccessful because Thor couldn’t be bothered to check how this thing worked before? Great!

“I’m working on it.” Thor responded hitting every button in sight.

“Well, whatever you’re doing, brother. I suggest you do it faster.”

“Shut up Loki.” The two of you said in unison.

You peek out the ship to see Volstagg fighting the guards off and you’re almost sure he’s gonna need you out there if you hoped to hold the guards out a minute or two longer. Thor continued to press every button he could find and you had never being more frustrated at someone for not knowing how to fly an alien ship.

“You must have missed something.” Loki commented.

“No I didn’t. I’m pressing every button on this thing.”

“No, don’t hit it, just press it gently.”

“I’m pressing it gently, it’s not working.” You had just about enough of the brothers bickering when the ship lit up and Thor let out a laugh of victory. You sighed a breath of relief seeing as Volstagg had more or less been swallowed by guards just as the ship started to rise. The ascend you had to admit wasn’t nearly as graceful as you had expected it to be with the ship hitting a number of columns of the palace.

“I think you missed a column.” Loki commented making your face break into a grin as you shook your head at the Odinsons pettiness.

“Shut up!” Thor shouted over the sounds of the machine whirring and you assumed the engines running.

Thor wasn’t admittedly a great pilot and had you not already been risking your life by being in this ship you might have been a bit afraid of putting your life in his very much amateur hands. The ship hit a noticeable amount of walls and pillars on his way out and you may have commented on the same had Loki not been already doing it.

“Look, why don’t you let me take over, I’m clearly the better pilot.” With how the ship was currently being flown you believed Loki’s words. Thor was bad enough for you to consider Loki might be better even though you’d never seen him fly a thing in your life.

“Is that right? Well, out of the two of us which one can actually fly?”

Before you could appreciate the magnificence of Thor’s comeback Jane collapsed beside you. Your arms instantly went around supporting her before she could land on the floor. “Oh dear. Is she dead?” Loki asked his tone that of someone asking what was for supper.

“Shut up Loki.” You said still holding Jane up before Thor called out to her clearly concerned. You too were concerned but because the already horrible pilot of the ship you were on had a part of his attention diverted away from the flying. (Jane was a tough person you were sure she was fine.)

“I’m okay.” She croaked out before raising her head and trying to stand up straighter. She looked weak and you decided not to let go of your hold on her. As Thor turned the whole of his attention back to the ship it hits some building breaking off a massive part of it.

“Not a word.” Thor said his words surely directed at Loki.

You looked out the ship to see several of the smaller Asgardian ships following you close behind. “They’re following us.” You announced one of your hand still holding on to Jane while the other was clasped around some piece of the ship trying to keep yourself stable what with all the slamming and hitting it was doing.

“Now they’re firing at us!” Loki said in his same cheeky and meant to annoy voice.

“Yeah, thank you for the commentary, Loki! It’s not at all distracting!” Just as the words left Thor’s very much stressed mouth the ship hits a massive stone monument of King Bor. But of course it didn’t _only_ hit it- it cut his head right off.

“Well done, you just decapitated your grandfather.” You’ve just had had enough of the two of them and were almost envious of Jane for being too unconscious to be bothered by their squabble.

It appeared Loki had much more to say (still) as he continued his annoyed and belittling rant. “You know this is wonderful. This is a tremendous idea. Let’s steal the biggest, most obvious ship in the universe and escape in that. Flying around the city, smashing into everything in sight so everyone can see us. It’s brilliant, Thor! Truly brilliant!” And with that Thor pushed Loki off the ship.

“Thank God he was starting to get annoying.” You said letting out a sigh.

“Starting to?” Thor asked with a grin before taking Jane off your hands and picking her up. He gestured at you to jump off before you moved to stand in front of Thor with your back to the opening of the ship. “If I die and don’t get into Valhalla I’m blaming you.” You said before leaning back and letting yourself fall down the biggest most obvious ship in the universe.


	4. Chapter 4

The ship you were on right now was much smaller than the one before with little to no space for the four of you to walk about freely. The ride although was much more smoother than the one before- but then again given the fact that you weren’t being fired at must have helped. Not to mention that Svartalfheim was mostly just a barren land from what you could tell.

Or maybe it just had everything to do with the fact that Thor wasn’t the one in control of the ship- you were. And considering the enormity of your ego you were going to say that that was the only reason the ride was going as smooth as it was.

“Commander (Y/N).” Thor said appearing beside you.

“Thor.” You nodded at him curtly. “How is she? Lady Jane?”

Thor looked over his shoulder back at the farthest corner of the ship- which wasn’t that far, at Jane who was sitting there. She looked weak.

“She’ll be fine.” He replied solemnly. “She’s as strong as she looks.”

“That I have no doubt of.” 

“I just wanted to thank you, for everything you have done for Asgard and everything you are doing right now.” Thor said and you waved your free hand telling him it wasn’t a big deal.

“Anything for my people.”

“Odin is blessed to have you as his Commander.” Thor said and you scoffed humorously.

“I don’t think Odin is going to consider my treachery a blessing.”

Thor considered your words for a moment before replying. “In time he will, Commander (Y/N).” He patted your shoulder before heading back to take his place beside Lady Jane.

“There’s a chance I won’t be a Commander once we get there.” You said to yourself. The way you saw it there was only one way this would end- with you dead. Sure there was the possibility of you making out of here alive but you couldn’t afford to have that kind of hope. You never did. Every battle you’ve walked into, you’ve treated like your last. Hope only ever made the fight that much harder to win. It wasn’t just something you couldn’t afford- it was something you didn’t need.

But even if for the tiniest of moment you’d consider a life beyond this fight you were walking into- there was still only two ways this would end. With you behind bars for treachery or with you alive but relegated of your commandership. The thing you had dreamed about since you were a little girl- all of it would be gone.

“Just so you know,” You heard Loki’s voice from behind you. He had walked up to you- still very much handcuffed but god forbid if his attitude ever caught on to the fact that he wasn’t 100% in control. “You’ll always be Commander no matter what Odin has to say about it. He could never take that away from you.”

You were taken aback by his words- hoping something smug to come out of his mouth rather than something encouraging. “Were you eavesdropping?” You asked in a playful tone.

“A ship as small as this one does not allow for things meant to be private to be spoken aloud.” He said tilting his head at you in mock disappointment.

You let out the smallest of laugh to go along with the shake of your head. “You really think Odin is still going to let me be Commander?” You said deciding to humor him- it wasn’t like you had anything better to do.

“That’s obviously not what I meant. I’d have thought you were brighter than that.” Loki said and he sounded much more like himself now than before- with the smugness replacing the attempted comfort.

“Well go on then- enlighten me. You so desperately want to.” You replied matching his tone.

Loki gave you a grin before continuing, “Being a commander is so much more than just about what a king thinks- it’s about what the people know.” He said and you had to blink at the sincerity in his voice. “Besides, you don’t need an army to be the Commander- they need you to be an army.”

You had to give it to him- you may not have thought so primarily but Loki could be comforting if he wanted to be. You gave him a fond look accompanied by a grin, “Look at you stroking my ego.”

He rolled his eyes at you- which was really all you wanted from people when you talked to them. Not that you liked being so conceited and smug- it was simply the way you were. And well maybe you did enjoy acting like a bastard a little.

“I was simply saying what I thought- you’re delusional for thinking I ever took even your feelings let alone ego into consideration.” He laughed.

“Well let’s hope your father thinks the same way.” You said

“He’s not my father.” He said at once- sounding awfully offended.

“It would’ve been more helpful had you realized the same awhile ago say I don’t know maybe when I was trying to break you out.” You said indifferently.

“Yes I suppose you expect my gratitude for trying to help me.” He asked with a scoff.

“I don’t want your thanks. I was only paying off a debt.”

“You call that paying of a debt?”

“I call that you being an idiot and not letting me help you.” You replied with a cheeky smile.

“Touché.”

It was oddly easy for the pair of you to bicker for two people who’ve only had three conversations before at best- but it seemed to you that there wasn’t any other form of civil conversation that can be had with Loki other than the likes of a banter.

“Why are you here anyways?” Loki asked and he sounded almost curious. “Why did you agree to help Thor?”

“Why did anyone?” You replied before giving him a smirk. “For Asgard.”

“I was hoping to get a more genuine answer.” You had half a mind to tell him it was none of his business but you decided since this was very likely the last conversation you may have- what the hell.

“I _am_ here for Asgard- for my people. I’ve never been one to agree with Odin- never liked him, but this time? This time following him may just have meant a lot of our people getting unnecessarily slaughtered. I couldn’t have let that happen- not when I had a choice.”

Loki gave you an appreciative nod making you smile. “Is that genuine enough?” You asked.

“A tear or two would’ve helped.” He replied and you laughed.

“You seem to not like Odin all that much.” Loki stated.

“That’s because I don’t.”

“You might be the only Asgardian I’ve met who detests him.”

“I like to think I have a very valid reason to dislike him.”

“What is it?” Loki asked.

“It’s that I don’t like him.” You said giving him a lopsided grin. You weren’t even being insincere- you didn’t like Odin just because you didn’t like him. You didn’t have any explanation for it.

“That’s fair enough.” He said a smile tugging on his lips as well.

You wondered why Loki was here. Was there a reason he was here to help and more importantly could he be trusted. Did the two of you have the same thing you hoped to achieve from this? Was he just an unwilling participant? You doubted that- Loki was here because he wanted to be. But why?

This was when you realized why exactly he was here- Frigga. He must’ve wanted to avenge her mother’s death. You didn’t blame him- you would’ve wanted to do the same perhaps if you knew what happened to your mother.

“I’m sorry about Queen Frigga.” You said, this time leaving behind all the teasing. You’d never known your parents and so you would never know what it felt like to lose one- but you could still tell it must be horrible.

“You’re not the one to blame for her death.” He replied calmly and you were almost worried by his response. You’d expected him to get angry. But he wasn’t and neither was that the saying of someone looking for revenge. The way he had said it…..you could almost sense a bit of resentment in his voice. Resentment not directed at Malekith however- resentment directed at himself.

He blamed himself for her death.

“I understand it’s not my place to say this-”

“Then don’t say it.”

“Loki, you’re not the one to blame for your mother’s death.” You said firmly.

“How could you possibly know?” He replied with a spiteful scoff. But again, the spite wasn’t directed at you- it was directed at Loki himself.

“I know that.” You said before pausing for a moment to collect your thoughts. “I know that because if it’s not true than I would have a lot of blood on my hands.”

“If my soldiers hadn’t been bested by the Dark elves- if _I_ hadn’t been bested by them the Queen may still be alive. And it’s not just her- all the battles I’ve fought you know how many lives could’ve been saved if I hadn’t done things a certain way?”

You moved your hand to Loki’s handcuffed one’s making him look up at you. “We live in a world of war and it’s made a killer out of almost every one of us. But not every death is on our hands.”

You could tell Loki had not only heard you but he was also considering your words. You didn’t need to learn how to read faces for that- even a fool could tell what you could because Loki wasn’t even trying to hide it.

“Why are you so kind to me?” He asked and needless to say you were surprised by his words.

“Don’t get used to it.” You replied with a laugh. “Besides, I figured I owe you that much you know,” You said before leaning in a little closer to him to make sure Thor couldn’t hear you. “For keeping your mouth shut.”

“I thought your debt was paid?” Loki asked getting back to his teasing- which was all you could’ve asked for.

“I must be a gentle, kind-hearted person then.”

“Aren’t you the same person who killed almost 10 of our enemies’ soldiers with nothing more than a dagger and a shield?”

“You’re right I’m too mighty to be a gentle, kind-hearted person.”

“And that’s not even mentioning your modesty.”


	5. Chapter 5

You must have fallen asleep sometime after your conversation with Loki because you woke up to the sound of shouting. Your hand immediately went to your swords which were kept beside you as you scanned your surroundings. You were still on that ridiculously small ship with Jane fast asleep beside you. Thor and Loki were standing a little away from the two of you and it looked like they had just had a fight. You decided not to ask about it, not wanting to associate yourself with things that didn’t concern you.

“What’d I miss?” You asked getting up from the floor of the ship and secured one of the scabbards that held your sword around your waist before doing the same with your other one.

“I think I have a plan that might just work.” Thor said and you could tell the gears of his mind were running fast. There couldn’t have been a better news- walking into a battle with the dark elves without a somewhat comprehensive plan would’ve been foolish. You were just glad Thor was able to think up of something before you’d arrive.

Thor made Loki stop the ship and the three of you gathered around as Thor explained the plan of his. It wasn’t a very reliable one but it was the best one you’d have so far. Of course the other choice was charge into battle like a bunch of buffoons. There was however one thing still that you were hesitant about.

“You want me to get stabbed by _him_?” You asked Thor not finding it in yourself to believe what he was saying. Why in the world would you ever deliberately agree to getting stabbed?

“Don’t tell me you don’t trust me anymore _my_ _dear_.” Loki asked rolling his eyes at you.

“Foolish of you to assume I ever trusted you in the first place _my_ _idiot_.” You hissed back at him.

“Why you arrogant, insufferable little-”

“That’s enough the two of you.” Thor interjected, he seemed pretty annoyed. “Commander (Y/N) I can assure you it’s just for the show. It won’t kill you- it won’t be real.”

“I’d say the pain would be pretty real.” Loki scoffed.

“Especially if you have anything to do with it, I assume.” You said.

“Oh my dear (Y/N), don’t tell me you’re afraid of a little pain now.” He replied with a smirk- he was challenging you. You clenched your jaw at him, of course you weren’t afraid of a little pain- you just didn’t trust him. And you certainly didn’t trust him enough to let him stab you.

But you also couldn’t let him think you couldn’t handle a little pain. _You don’t have anything to prove to anyone._ You told yourself. But damnit since when have you ever thought like that. Of course you had to prove to him he was wrong!

“Fine!” You said reluctantly. “I’ll let your greasy little brother stab me. But if he betrays us I’m gonna kill him.”

* * *

You abandoned the ship when you had reached a considerable amount of distance away from Malekith’s ship. You could tell you were near because of Lady Jane. Her body had grown stiff and her eyes were completely taken over by the Aether. Once the four of you had reached a place from where you could spot Malekith and his soldiers you stopped and took cover behind some hills.

“Alright are you ready?” Thor asked Jane.

“I am.” You and Loki said at the same time. He gave you nod presumably trying to say that you could trust him- which was easy for him to say considering he was the one getting to do all the stabbing.

You along with the two brothers rose from your hiding spot and you were sure Malekith could see you now.

“You know this plan of yours is going to get us killed.” Loki said

“Yeah possibly.” Thor replied.

Loki held his shackled hands up to Thor gesturing him to uncuff him. “You still don’t trust me brother?” He asked upon noticing Thor’s slight weariness.

“Would you?” Thor replied but still moved to rid Loki of his binds.

“No I wouldn’t.” Loki said and you saw him procuring a dagger. _Here goes,_ you thought just as Loki sank the dagger into Thor’s chest. He pushed him down the hill and Lady Jane let out a scream of Thor’s name.

“You backstabbing, little snake!” You unsheathed your sword and charged at him. He dodged the slash of your blade and a burst of his magic knocked it off your hand. Before you could do anything else he had ran his dagger into your stomach and the pain made you choke out a cry. A green envelope of his magic surrounded you as he sent you hurling down the hill and to the ground.

Your body dropped a little farther from Thor’s, your head slamming into a big rock. Your hand was clutching the wound on your stomach as blood continued to gush out. You were sure a cut had formed on the side of your head thanks to the gooiness you could feel oozing out of there. The only way you knew Loki hadn’t utterly and completely betrayed you was by the strange feeling that seemed to surround your stab wound. The magic however didn’t make the pain any less agonizing.

You could feel you were getting light-headed and you didn’t know if it was because of the head injury you had acquired or the loss of blood. All you could do was lay down there like a dead body not even capable of groaning out in pain. You could hear Loki monologue something about never caring about anyone but you could hardly pay attention. The pain making it barely possible for you to even keep your eyes open.

“Loki now!” You heard Thor yell and a something almost like a breeze passed over you. You breathed a sigh of relief as you felt your stab wound heal itself instantly- though the injury of your head remained. “Could’ve been worse.” You mumbled as you got to your feet.

You saw Thor shoot lightning at Aether which was floating and back to its liquid state. The Aether appeared to be distressed and you could feel the ground beneath you starting to tremble. You instinctively held your right arm in front of you activating your wristband and making a full body shield appear in front of you.

You bore the shield into the ground as the Aether exploded sending a storm of dust around. Your shield kept you steady as the ground shook from the impact of the upsurge. It was strong and thankfully only lasted for a moment. As the clouds of dust dissipated your shield reduced itself to a more normal size.

A moment of silence passed through the battlefield as everyone looked around with uncertainty looming into the air. The Aether was lying on the ground having broken down into several small crystals. Had your plan worked? Was the Aether finally destroyed? Your eyes caught Thor’s and you shared a look before a faint tinkling sound caught your attention. The small red crystals started levitating up into the air and you knew it had all been for nothing.

The Aether hadn’t been destroyed and worse than that you had now brought the one thing your enemy wanted right to him in his home. The small crystals united back together and restored themselves into the Aether’s original form. Malekith walked forward and held his arms out before the Aether latched itself onto him. You could only watch in horror as the Aether shot up into his eyes and mouth and he let out a piercing scream- letting the Aether take over all of him.

The Aether had now completed disappeared into Malekith and a sense of failure tugged at the back of your mind. But you wouldn’t let yourself indulge that feeling- as long as you were alive you hadn’t lost. And you weren’t about to let yourself die now- not when Malekith was in possession of the Aether. No, you would fight here and now and then come up with another plan. This wasn’t the end.

Malekith turned around to leave for his ship, one of his soldiers- the one with the weird helmet following behind. More than a handful of the dark elves charged at Thor and yourself. Your hand immediately went to the other sword on your hip unsheathing it and swinging it at the elves in front of you. You were working purely on decades of muscle memory- cutting and slashing and piercing your way through them.

Your eyes caught the weird helmeted soldier throwing something in the direction of Loki and Lady Jane. He pushed her out of the way just before a vortex started sucking him in. You jabbed the hilt of your sword onto the base of an elf’s skull. Another one came charging at you and you decided to throw your weapon at him and it ran through the elves torso like a spear and tossed him to the ground.

Your hand went around the lasso on your hip before aiming it at Loki and swinging with all the force you could muster up. It wrapped itself around his middle and you pulled at it- your shield transforming itself into a full body one. You saw a couple of elves coming at you and detached your shield from your wrist hurling it in their general direction. It blew up like a bomb once it had gotten close enough to them.

You now directed the whole of your attention at Loki and pulling him out of that godforsaken vortex. You held onto the base of your lasso with both your hands pulling at it with all your might. The vortex disappeared abruptly making you fall back on your feet as Loki dropped back down to the ground. Another elf came at you out of nowhere and swung his weapon at you. You dodged out of the way though his blade still caught your shoulder cutting a deep gash into it.

Before you could attack him in any way he was surrounded by the same envelope of green you were before as Loki hurled him out of the way. “Are you okay?” he asked you almost as if concerned and you nodded at him. You looked around and the both of you were surrounded by more almost a dozen more elves.

The pair of you moved to stand together with your backs to each other. Your hand went to the back of your waist where a dagger was kept. You pulled it out holding it on your side with a jolt and it unfolded into a regular sized sword. “This is going to be fun.” Loki said from behind you.

“Finally someone who shares my idea of fun.” You commented before the two of you charged onto the elves. You missed your shield as its absence paved way for a lot of injuries that otherwise could’ve been avoided- but you still held your own. The wound on your shoulder would have successfully held you back had it not been for the adrenaline rushing through your veins.

Your sword ran through every last one of the elves that Loki’s dagger didn’t and after many unwelcomed gashes and bruises you had finally killed your way through those elves. Thor had already at some point flown his way to the big weird helmet soldier and Loki and you ran up to catch up to him. But of course before you reach him at least three more of those elves came running at you.

You glanced back at Thor and saw that he was getting his head bashed by the soldiers’ fists and you turned to Loki. “Go help Thor. I can take care of them.” You said before moving the back of your hand to wipe the blood off the corner of your mouth.

“Are you sure?” Loki asked. “There’s three of them.”

“I’ve had worse.” You smirked at him. “Now go you brother needs you.”

Loki’s eyes lingered on you as if he wanted to say something but he must have decided against it as he made his way to Thor sending a final nod your way. You turned back towards the elves and let out a tired breath. You twirled the sword in your hand that was already dripping of blood attacking the elf nearest to you. He blocked it with his own weapon and the other two came charging at you with their own weapons held high above their heads.

You kicked one of them out of the way as the other one swung his weapon at you. Your one and only sword was quite busy and you had nothing else to protect you against his blade. You dejectedly held your left arm up as the blade ran through it making you whimper of pain. You twirled your sword around the blade that was pressing against it and moved your wounded hand to grab at the hilt of the sword which was previously digging into your forearm. You impaled the elf on your right with the other elves’ blade and kicked him out of the way. It didn’t take you long before you had ran your sword into the other, weaponless elf.

Just as that elf fell to the ground the last one of them came at you. He instantly stabbed at your sliced up shoulder impaling it with his small dagger. Your sword dropped out of your hand as you cried out in pain.

“You couldn’t have gone for the uninjured shoulder, could’ve you?” You gritted out before the sound of a blast caught your attention. You glanced over your shoulder to see the soldier Loki and Thor had been fighting was lifting off the ground in a ball of something that resembled fire.

Trusting you sight and convincing yourself you weren’t just hallucinating you grabbed the elf on your side by his arm and using your good shoulder pulled at him before hurling him into the ball of fire. The elf came into contact with it just in time as it warped into thin air.

You relaxed as you looked around and saw no soldier left for you to fight. You calmed your breath down as you rested your hands on your knees slouching down a little. The dagger was still attached to your shoulder and you decided to leave it there to reduce the blood loss.

You saw Thor kneeling down on the ground and appeared to be cradling Loki’s face in his hands and your heart dropped. You hesitantly made your way to them and all the wounds you had acquired somehow started hurting more. You dropped to your knees as Loki’s body turned blue in front of your eyes all the while only one thought running through your mind- _I couldn’t save him._

Thor let out a pained scream beside you but all you could do was stare at Loki’s now dead body lying on the ground. A single tear rolled down your eye and you hurriedly got to your feet turning your back to them. You wiped the tear way with your bloodied hand and a sniffle escaped your mouth. Your breath hitched in your throat as you forced a sob away.

 _He was dead and you couldn’t save him._


	6. Chapter 6

You entered your bathing chamber with a sigh, a debatably heavy heart and an unquestionably sore body. Between your fight with the dark elves back in Svartalfheim and the battle of England, Midgard- you were battered and beaten and bruised. Your meeting with the Asgardian healers did greatly help with injuries and wounds the like of the one your shoulder collected but it didn’t do anything for the aching bones and pulled muscles which were currently plaguing your body.

Luckily though this wasn’t the first time you had returned to your home absolutely wrecked from a fight and therefore knew exactly what your body needed- or could have rather. What your body _needed_ right now was copious amounts or rest and slumber but all you could offer was a bath considering you had to meet with Odin in a few hours. Presumably so he could decide the fate of the rest of your life.

You knew he couldn’t give you a death penalty of course, not after you had risked your life to save the nine realms alongside Thor. He could however take back your Commandership in account of your treachery. You took off the robe you had been wearing, hanging it nearby before getting into the small bathing “pond”. It wasn’t really a natural water body rather just an artificially made version of one- sort of like a tub.

You relaxed into the cool water trying to clear your mind of everything that had happened in the short expanse of the day. But of course you knew it was more than unlikely- you being able to clear your mind as long as you were sober if not unconscious. For some reason your thoughts kept reverting back to Loki.

Despite of the fact that you barely knew him you still couldn’t deny that he had a comparatively huge impact on your life. Over the course of two maybe three conversations, he had managed to influence you more than anyone else ever has. You’d never had any friends growing up. Helga- the woman who raised you abandoned you the second you could start taking care of yourself- which was fairly young.

The secret of your parentage always made you weary of letting other people into your lives- but you didn’t have to worry about that with Loki. It was revealed in the first conversation you ever had with that man. You didn’t have to be constantly on your guard about protecting your true identity with him.

Perhaps you had hoped to have a connection, an affiliation- something there.

You had sold you mother’s Dragonfang in the hopes of helping him out for crying out loud. It was the last and only thing you had of her- the last evidence. The Valkyries were more or less a myth now-a-days; no one even knew what had happened to them all.

You had no memories of your parents and no friends. You’d never mourned someone. Sure you had lost several of your soldiers and acquaintances but somehow Loki had seemed to leave a greater imprint on your life. He kept your secret and considered you for what you were born as well as was. Just something about his death set it apart from the countless others you had witnessed.

You massaged your forehead in frustration. Your mind seemed to not be able to comprehend the fact that you were lamenting someone’s death perhaps? You’d be a monster to admit it but some small part of you was relieved that you weren’t better acquainted with him. You couldn’t even imagine what it would feel like to lose him if he were a friend- or any friend for that matter.

Good thing you weren’t planning on having any then.

* * *

You walked into the throne room with fresh un-bloodied armor and a stitched up shoulder (along with several other mended body parts.) You were exhausted but not enough to not notice the absence of the guards in the throne room. It would have been eerie had Thor not already told you about his meeting with the Allfather- it didn’t consist of any guards either. Maybe this was meant to be a personal exchange but you wondered whatever would he have to say to you that he’d want to keep away from prying ears?

“Commander (Y/N).” Odin said acknowledging your presence.

You kneeled down in front of his throne with your arm across your chest bowing down to him. “My lord.”

“It takes great courage to stand up for what you believe in. The nine realms will forever be grateful to you for you what you did.”

“I only did what I had to in order to ensure the safety of my people, your highness.” You spoke getting up on your feet. So far everything was going fine- he seemed grateful for what you’d did and didn’t even mention the treason you had committed.

“As any Commander should.” Odin replied and you breathed a sigh of relief.

“I’m still the Commander?” You asked without missing a beat.

“Of course.” Odin said with a chuckle. “I can’t take that away from you. You’ll always be Commander”

It felt almost as if the soreness of your body had relieved itself somehow at Odin’s words. Your dream wasn’t shattered and everything you’ve worked so hard for wasn’t gone. You were still the Commander- _You’ll always be the Commander,_ were his exact words. Wait why did that sound so familiar?

“Besides,” Odin said bringing your attention back to him away from your thoughts. “You don’t need an army to be the Commander,” _Wait a minute._ “They need you to be an army.”

And with that something finally ticked into your brain. “Son of a bitch!”

You had heard those words before- just this day! Those exact goddamn words. You were gaping at ‘Odin’ with a stunned expression finding it hard to understand what was happening. “You’re- it can’t be! I watched you die!”

A ray of green energy trailed across the man in front of you transforming him into Loki- the same Loki that had died hours ago on Svartalfheim. He had a mischievous grin on his face- his trademark one and all you could do was stare at him. “You’re alive?” You asked and your voice was mix between disbelief and annoyance.

“One would assume.” He replied before getting up from the throne.

A swarm of questions flooded your mind but perhaps only one of them was the most significant. “Why are you telling me this?” You asked. Why would he deliberately reveal his secret to you? Surely if he was here in the guise of Odin he was planning on keeping his identity a secret. Why share that with you? It’s not like you would’ve figured it out anyways?

“Because I can.”

“Because you can?” You asked repeating his words.

“You’re very smart with words, aren’t you?” He said mockingly.

“Listen you contemptuous little ass, I was stabbed and punched and kicked and thrown just hours ago. I do not have the endurance nor the patience to humor your Battle of the wits right now.” You said deciding not to take any more of his shit. You were exhausted in every sense of the word. Just a few hours ago you had been feeling bad about him dying and to find out all of that had been for nothing was infuriating. How dare he make you feel any sort of emotion towards any other person?

“What do you want from me?”

Loki gave you an appreciative nod a small smile tugging at his lips. “You know my dear it’s a good thing I find your company enjoyable- I would have killed you otherwise.”

“Lucky me.” You deadpanned.

“You’re just insufferable enough to not be repulsive.”

“I’m serious, Loki. What do you want from me?” You asked with a sigh. Whatever this was it seemed like something you didn’t want to get in between of. You couldn’t care less who was on the throne and by whatever means. Your one and only concern was the safety of your people whether that be from under Odin’s rule or Loki-disguised-as-Odin’s.

“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to have someone loyal by my side.” Loki said with a shrug. “And you seem like the perfect person. You care about the Asgardians and detest Odin enough to not mind if I’m the king as long as I do what’s the best for your people. Besides my dear would really rather him be the king than me?”

You were taken back by his words. It was true- you didn’t care if Loki was the one on the throne as long as your people were okay. Certainly it was a better alternative than Odin in terms of how much you distrusted him. And truly what difference does it make?

A moment of silence followed as you considered his offer. It wasn’t like you had any other choice. You doubted he would let you expose him- not to mention he knew about your true parentage something you couldn’t afford for him to use as leverage.

“You being the mightiest warrior of Asgard also helps.” Loki added upon noticing you hadn’t responded.

“You think you can just compliment me into joining you?” You asked him with a playful smirk.

“You certainly have the ego for it to be possible.”

“I’m egotistical Loki, not conceited.”

“Some people would say they’re the same thing.”

‘Well some people would be wrong.”

Loki grinned at you and you realized you had just did exactly what you said you wouldn’t do- engage in a banter with him. You rolled your eyes at his admittedly warranted smug expression. “What about Thor?” You asked making him pull an almost oblivious face.

“What about him?”

“You’re acting like you and Odin are the only two options? You’d think with Thor being the prince and everything he would have a chance at the throne as well?”

“I offered it to him and he does not want it.” Loki replied before adding in a plain tone. “And honestly dear it’s a little off putting, you talking about Thor when I’m asking you to be _my_ second in Command.”

 _He does not want it?_ What kind of a prince backs down from his responsibilities of becoming a king? It seemed you really didn’t have much of an option here. You honestly would rather Loki be the king than Odin. You never knew why you hated him but you just always felt like he was almost hiding something constantly.

And you would really rather be beside Loki when he was ruling Asgard to make sure everything was fine yourself. Your moral compass wasn’t making you hesitant right now neither were your loyalties- you just wanted to make sure you were making an informed decision. And well- you might just have made one.

“Fine then, pay me one more flattering compliment,” You finally said with a grin. “And I’ll consider it.”


	7. Chapter 7

You knocked on the doors that led to the king’s chambers, a bottle of mead in your hand. It had been almost half a year since Loki had been king (even if through some untraditional means). You were still the only one who knew about him- his disguise was working nicely. Over the months somehow you had become friends with Loki- however painful it was for you to admit it. You didn’t have any other ‘friends’- unless you want to count your soldiers you sparred with on a daily basis. You personally didn’t- something about constantly slamming people to the floor made them not like you as much. (Fine, it wasn’t just the slamming part it was the being smug about it afterwards part.)

The door opened to reveal ‘Odin’ on the other side. He gave you a smile- something you still found incredibly creepy. Loki smiling- you had gotten used to but _Odin?_

“Commander (Y/N).” He nodded curtly at you as you entered into the room.

“There’s no one around Loki, enough with the masquerade already for fuck’s sake.” You laughed moving towards a desk that was kept pushed up against the wall. You jumped onto it deciding to sit there as Loki closed the doors and transformed back into himself. All with the black and green costume.

“You know you could sit over there on the armchair- the thing actually made for sitting?” Loki commented.

“And you know you could shove that armchair up-”

“I think that’s enough.” Loki said cutting you off and received a cheeky smile from you.

Loki walked up to the other side of the room where the alcohol was kept before he poured himself a glass of some wine. He never kept any mead or ale with him no matter how much you had whined about it. “It ruins the whole set up.” He would always say. You wouldn’t have had a problem with it either had any of the drinks he kept tasted like actual alcohol either. It was all always fruity or tasteful- something you strictly believed alcohol was not meant to taste like.

“Why do you insist on always drinking all that snob stuff?” You questioned popping the cap on your bottle open and chugging a good portion of it.

“Why do _you_ insist on always drinking all that horrible stuff?” He replied with a grin.

You cocked your eyebrows up at him clearly offended by the terminology used to describe your taste in alcohol. Did it taste horrible? Yes, it tasted like hot garbage- but that was the beauty of it. “I’ll have you known that what I drink is the staple beverage of Asgard.”

“Yes but dear that’s because most Asgardians can’t afford what I drink.”

He then proceeded to ask you about your day. You told him about how you were taking lessons to learn how to pilot a spaceship in between your sparring. Today was your first day and the training was just virtual for now. You didn’t go inside an actual ship but the hologram wasn’t half as bad. You mostly just learned about Asgardian ships today but those were complicated to handle as they were. You weren’t in any hurry to learn about alien ships anytime soon- at least not until you could be trusted to not crash one made here.

Loki’s day on the other hand was mostly just spent organizing the ball he was holding. It wasn’t for any specific reason but then again since when does Asgard need a reason to celebrate. “Did you finally ask someone to escort you to it?” Loki asked.

“I told you I’m not planning to.”

“That you did but why?”

“I already told you that too. I have no interest in romance, not right now.”

“Yes but that was more than two months ago I’d have thought someone would’ve caught your eye by now. A maiden or a gentleman perhaps?”

You sighed exasperated at him, trying to appear annoyed at his queries. “I’m sorry Loki but none. You won’t be fulfilling your wish of being the maid of honor in any of my weddings anytime soon, it seems.” You teased.

“You’d have me be your maid of honor?” Loki asked and appeared amused as well as surprised.

You made a face at his question. “Isn’t a maid of honor supposed to be your best friend?”

If Loki had seemed surprised before he was stunned now. “I’m your best friend?” He asked unbelievingly.

You scoffed and rolled your eyes at him taking a swig of your drink. “Only because I don’t have any other friends.” Of course he was your best friend had he not known that already? Out of any other person he was the one you spent the most time with? You bickered and bantered with him and let him insult you without punching him in the face. More importantly you talked to him- not just small talk but actually _talked_ with him. What was he expecting- a friendship bracelet or a tattoo signifying your friendship with him?

A short silence followed wherein Loki seemed to just be taking your words in. The silence became too much for you and you decided to break it finally. “You’re not going to cry now are you?” You said with a laugh.

He looked up at you and gave you small smile. “You’re annoying.”

“So I’ve been told.” You grinned back. Wanting to diverge the conversation away from whatever the current one was you decided to ask him about the play he was writing. 

The play of course was about him: The Tragedy of Loki of Asgard, as he was calling it right now. It was pretentious and narcissistic and therefore essentially perfect for Loki. But then again to the people of Asgard it won’t come across as so but rather something born out of love of a father for his child. The deception aspect of it all only added to its perfection in catching Loki’s essence.

“Had I known before all you’d want to do once you’d become king was write plays- I might have helped you take the throne earlier.” You joked.

“Oh I’m sorry would you prefer it if I tried to take over a planet for the fun of it?”

“You already tried that and I remember you telling me it ending in something along the lines of you getting wrecked by a green giant.”

“I’m never letting you convince me to drink that stuff again.”

“Not that much of it you shouldn’t.”

* * *

You were on your way to the training house with a chirpier mood than usual; you were very much excited about your piloting lessons. You didn’t know whether it was this sudden skip in your walk or some other reason that made one of your soldiers approach you.

“May I accompany you on your walk to the training house Commander?” The soldier- Matthew offered falling into step beside you.

“I don’t see why not.” You replied. Mostly because you were a little taken aback to disagree and well you didn’t want to seem like a bitch.

Hardly any of your soldiers ever tried to befriend you or anything. You always thought it was because you intimidated them and it seemed you intimidated Matthew as well what with all the fidgeting his hands were doing.

“At ease soldier,” You said with a laugh as you glanced at him.

His face reddened considerably and he gave you a sheepish smile. “My apologies Commander, I’m sure you can imagine why it would be a bit frightening to approach you.” His eyes widened instantly at his poor choice of words.

“Not that I consider you to be frightening- it’s just well you’re so authoritative and commanding.”

You raised your brows at him biting back a smile.

“Unless you want me to consider you frightening.” He continued uncertainly, his blush now having reached the tips of his ears.

“I’m just gonna stop talking if that’s okay with you Commander.”

You _must_ be feeling a lot more cheerful than usual today seeing as instead of finding the man’s fumbling and nervousness funny you felt rather bad for him.

“You can call me (Y/N) and do keep talking I find your conversation more pleasing than the silence.” You said and received a big smile from him. You were however being much too nicer than you’d allow yourself to so you added, “Only when it’s just the two of us though, mind you I have a reputation to uphold, what was it you said- authoritative and commanding?”

“I do hope you didn’t take any offence to my words Command- (Y/N),” he corrected, “I simply tend to dig myself into rabbit holes when I’m nervous.”

“Oh no offence was taken Matthew,” you assured him, “It was a compliment really.”

“It was intended as so.” He replied.

The walk to the training house wasn’t as long- fifteen minutes or so really, but it took you five extra ones thanks to Matthew’s company. The pair of you made small talk and you didn’t find him awfully boring or unbearable. He was quite shy from what you understood stumbled over his words and blushed like a damned rose but you surprisingly didn’t mind it.

The two of you came to a halt as soon as you’d reached the training house’s entryway.

He seemed to be working up his courage to say something if his fiddling with the sleeves of his shirt was anything to go by.

“I- uh,” He started and turned his head sideways to fully look at you, you just gave him an amused look. “I hope I’ll see you at dinner tonight then. At the tavern outside the palace?” More of a question than anything.

“You’ll continue to see me inside in a few seconds, soldier.” You laughed.

“Well- you see- I uh-,” He leaned in a little and dropped his voice to a whisper and continued with an embarrassed smile “I didn’t mean Commander (Y/N), just you know, (Y/N)- (Y/N).”

“Is that meant to be complimenting as well or should I take offence?” You asked light-heartedly, folding your hands to your chest.

“Take it as you may my Commander,” he replied with an equally playful tone, “But do forgive me for saying that I enjoyed your company on the walk much better than I do when you’re slamming me to the ground.”

He had already started to loosen up around you in the twenty minutes you had spent together- Gods you were slipping. You couldn’t lose your edge; you held it very near and dear to your heart.

You still laughed at him with a shake of your head before continuing on towards the front gate to the training house. “See you inside soldier.”

* * *

­

Now you would usually just prefer to have dinner in the comfort of your own home- you weren’t much of a cook but you had a deal struck up with the innkeeper whose inn was situated nearby your house. Today however instead of walking back after your hours at the palace were over you decided to go to the tavern outside of palace for dinner.

Some of the young soldiers and generals and such would usually dine in there – the ones that lived on their own. You perfectly fit into that category but you weren’t the biggest fan of the noisy tavern. You would usually just come here if you were looking for a drink which still meant you were there many nights but not quite as much as the others.

But perhaps you were feeling a little too hungry to journey all the way back to your house tonight seeing as you found yourself walking through the front doors of the same noisy tavern with the intention of eating and not drinking.

Or perhaps it was Matthew.

There was no sense in lying to yourself- the soldier had caught your curiosity. He was the first soldier to approach you outside of military matters and hinted a chance at friendship and well that made you curious enough. You usually just made acquaintance with people like the lady from the inn or some other generals of your army. You had a total of one actual friend- Loki, whom everyone thought to be dead and you could only ever talk to him in the night when no one would be around for reasons quite obvious.

And well perhaps a second friend won’t hurt. The thought made you cringe. _Two friends? What have I become?_

Before you could convince yourself that the sheer thought of you having two friends was preposterous and walk right back out of the tavern Matthew appeared out of the crowd and you caught his eye.

“You came!” He exclaimed in surprise.

“Were you hoping I won’t?”

“Quite the contrary actually. I’m glad you came.” He replied as you took off your cloak and hanged it onto a stand nearby before making your way further into the establishment. Matthew following beside you.

It was quite crowded more so than usual but that probably had something to do with the fact that it was dinnertime- you were usually here after that.

“I- uh,” Matthew began nervously- but to be honest you knew to expect it by now. “I um- well I secured a secluded table for us if you’d prefer that.” He said before adding rather cheekily, “I’d rather just call you (Y/N) tonight and well you have a reputation to uphold I believe.”

You rolled your eyes at him but granted him a laugh nonetheless, “Well lead the way then.”

The two of you walked to a seating area to a corner of the tavern, there were definitely lesser people there and the place was considerably isolated from the rest of the hubbub and crowd. “Secluded is just about the word I’d use to describe this.” You commented, taking a seat at the chair and Matthew sat at the one opposite to yours.

“We can change tables if you’d rather not sit here.” He offered at once.

“It’s alright, besides I can’t have you calling me by first name in front of the other soldiers now can I?” You said making him laugh.

“Oh that would make for quite the outrage.” He added.

You enjoyed Matthew’s company for the rest of the dinner and admittedly his lively conversations beat out eating alone in your home. He was a delight to talk to and you liked getting to know him and you could only hope his experience was likewise. You never really allowed yourself to form any sort of companionship with anyone before Loki and well ever since your friendship with him it seems you don’t hate social interaction as much.

You suspected it was not just that though- Matthew was an easier person to talk to. He seemed to always be able to fill in any stretches of silence organically not to mention he seemed to already think highly of you and deemed you interesting enough to spend time with. He complimented you more than any other person ever has- talking about how he admired your leadership greatly and praised you for your heroism.

“Oh stop it you’ll flatter me to death!” You giggled sipping onto your drink.

“I apologize if it makes you uncomfortable but I truly can’t help it (Y/N), besides I enjoy it too thoroughly to stop.”

“What? Complimenting me?” You laughed. “Surely we can find a better hobby for you.”

“I’d rather call it a fondness than a hobby.”

“What’s the difference?”

“One starts with an H the other starts with an F.”

You shook your head at him with laugh. So yes, as far as social interactions went one with Matthew was easier than one with others.

Except maybe Loki of course.

You enjoyed the company of both the men, one more than the other obviously but then again you’d known Loki for a long time now which was much more than what you could say for Matthew.

Actually come to think of it Matthew and Loki were incredibly different. They were both lean men in built and had raven colored hair but that was where the similarities stopped. Loki’s hair was much longer than Matthew’s shorter boyish cut. While Loki naturally emulated a wary and mischievous feeling, Matthew was all sunshine and happiness. You had yet to meet a more arrogantly confident person than Loki and Matthew could barely look you in the eye without blushing. That was another thing- you had never seen Loki blush ever in the many months you’ve known him- and Matthew had already done so in a day more times than you could be bothered to keep track of.

Yes Loki and Matthew were indeed very different people- the only thing they seemed to have in common was your friendship.


	8. Chapter 8

It had been a couple of weeks since you had dinner with Matthew; he had made it a habit since then to accompany you on your walk from your home to the training house.

“I like spending time with you.” He had said.

You agreed.

This morning was no different. He had joined you at the general spot he usually would which was just outside your neighborhood- apparently he lived in the one adjoining yours. You had never really paid much attention to him before to know that.

Only today when you reached the training house a royal servant was waiting for you, with a message from ‘Odin’.

“The Allfather has some matters he wishes to discuss with you- he’s expecting you in his chambers.” The servant said and took his leave at once.

It was a fairly common occurrence- Loki would often call for you in the middle of the day, sometimes because he actually has to talk to you about some matter relating to the Asgardian military or the nine realms and sometimes simply because he was bored.

You wished it was the former because you hated it when he disturbed you during training. You liked training and not just because as Loki would say, it was the only time you could casually throw people around and gloat about it while expecting to be paid for it, but rather because simply put you liked your job.

You bid Matthew goodbye and made your way to the palace. The training house you trained at was technically still part of the palace but it was a separate building much like the greenhouse. You walked into the palace and to the king’s chambers- it was quite the maze, the palace what with the many floors and bedrooms and ballrooms and gods know what else rooms.

You had been to the particular room you were looking for enough times to find your way to it solely on muscle memory alone though. You knocked on the door once you’d reached it and waited for ‘Odin’ to answer.

“You called for me, my king?” You asked in a rather bored voice as he opened the door to let you in.

“ _My king?_ ” Loki or well Odin repeated your words as he closed the doors behind him. “I have to say my dear I quite like the sound of that.”

You scrunched up your face at him in disgust, “You have to realize you abhorrently creepy that sounds while you’re still wearing that face. Do change into your usual one before making such improper comments unless you want me to throw up.”

“Are you saying you like my improper comments as long as it is my face that I have on?” he asked turning back into himself.

“I’m saying I’m less likely to puke as long as it’s with Odin’s face off.” You replied matter-of-factly.

“So what did you call me here for?” You asked clasping your hands together.

Loki gave you an exaggeratedly offended look in return. “Since when do I, your _best friend_ need a reason to call you up?”

“Since you started doing it in between of my job for which by the way, I get paid by the hour.”

“I guess I’ll just have to give you a raise then.” He shrugged in response.

You scoffed, “You think you can just buy my friendship?”

He had a reply ready on the tip of his tongue.

“Depends; is it on sale?”

You couldn’t stop the small grin from forming on your face. ‘Is that why I’m here then?” You asked with a laugh. “Because you needed someone to entertain you?”

“Well no, actually. There is something on which I require your opinion.” He said briskly before moving to his desk and looked through for something in the drawer.

Was it something regarding Alfheim? You hoped so, there have been some minor problems arising in that realm for a time now and you were hoping to put out those fires before they became actual problems.

You waited eagerly only for Loki to come back with two napkins in his hands. “Which one do you think better suits the theme of the ball?”

“The theme of the ball is ‘Missed opportunities’.” You replied bluntly hoping it would make him realize how redundant his question was.

“Yes but which one do you think conveys that best?”

“They’re both fucking beige napkins.”

He sighed much too dramatically before taking hold of you by the shoulders and leading you to the sofa so that the two of you could have a seat.

“You tire me sometimes my dear.” He held the two of them up to you as if the problem here was not him asking you to choose between two near identical napkins but rather your eyesight.

“This one is clearly a tan not a beige- are you sure you’re not colorblind,” You gave him an unamused look at that, “Right we’ll talk about it later.” He replied with a lopsided grin before continuing.

“So as I was saying, this tan one here has a golden shimmer to it and a more deeper green border while the beige one has a simple but more elegant green border design-”

Fuck this was going to be exhausting.

A few hours later it seemed you had given your opinion on every which stupid thing relating to the ball that you could and Loki was at last satisfied. You were used to helping him out with things like these, for instance the week where he was installing those huge horned helmet things in commemoration of himself you had mostly always had to miss the training to help him out. But making you choose napkins and wines for a ball? Now that was just plain tortuous.

Not to mention you knew for a fact he rarely ever picked those things out himself! Why change now and more importantly why drag you down with him? However you didn’t say anything because you enjoyed his company and liked choosing out all those stupid things with him.

What you didn’t like of course was the fact that this upcoming ball was going to be a very classy Asgardian ball. Ugh, classy Asgardian- a premise you detested with much passion. Asgardians were meant to be loud and lewd and drunk at a party. Chants and war songs, fiddles and bards were meant to be the tune to the merriment not harps and pianos.

But that was what Loki wanted for this ball and so you kept your criticisms to yourself- even helped him choose which harpist to go with.

“I should get going now.” You spoke after a while. It would be almost dinnertime in a few hours. Loki and you had decided to have lunch together in his chambers considering there were many _gravely important_ choices to make about the cutlery.

You were hoping to get back to your home in time to change for dinner. Matthew had actually invited you to his for the meal. He had told he was a bit of a cook and would be pleased to make something for you and you had taken him up on the offer.

“Why, do you have another dinner planned with that lovely friend of yours?” Loki asked with a playful smirk on his face.

You had told Loki all about Matthew of course. He didn’t seem to dislike him anymore than he disliked everyone. You knew it was all for a show of course- to maintain his reputation.

“I do actually!” You replied cheerfully. “I wish you could meet him, you would enjoy his company. But I wouldn’t trust him with our secret so it’s better if he just believes you’re dead then.”

“Oh yes definitely I can’t let the truth get in the way him crying at the Tragedy of Loki of Asgard.” He spoke plainly and without the usual jest in his voice- even his smirk had fallen off his face.

You decided not to dwell on it- since when did you learn how to read faces anyways? “Yes he does seem like the kind of person who would cry at that play of yours.” You laughed with a shake of your head. You could just imagine Matthew tearing up at Loki’s ‘death scene.

“Have you bed him yet then?” He asked seemingly out of nowhere.

“I beg your fucking pardon.” You responded incredulously. You couldn’t help but get offended why would he say such a thing unprompted?

“Well it’s obvious isn’t it? He’s trying to court you!”

You gave him a disbelieving look. “He most certainly is not!”

Loki just gave you a patronizing chuckle.

“He’s just a friend!” You insisted getting a bit mad at him now.

“Well does he know that?” He laughed- scoffed more like. “Or does he still think your _friendship_ is just a way for you to get him into bed?”

“That’s enough out of you.” You said not even trying to keep the anger out of your voice. “You can keep your perverted thoughts to yourself thank you very much.”

“Alright, but someone better tell him that as well.”

“Loki!” You chided.

“Oh come now,” He rolled his eyes at you. “You let him walk you to the training house, for what three weeks now- when you ignore literally every single one of your soldiers that isn’t him. You give him permission unsolicited mind you, to refer to you by your first name alone. You have dinner with him in the tiny corner of the tavern which by the way is famous for where horny lovers dine. And you let him compliment you all throughout that said dinner. You’re just playing with the poor man’s heart now.”

Your glare at him only increased with every passing word and you couldn’t remember if you’d ever been this mad at anyone in your entire life. How dare he try and convince you that your friendship with Matthew was tainted by anything else?

“I’ve had quite enough of you today. You can’t just say the first thing that pops into your mind without taking into consideration their effect!” 

“You want me to lie to you?” He asked with a bitter scoff.

“I want you to care about my feelings like I care about yours.”

“My dear I simply said what-”

“Matthew is my friend and I will not have you try and convince me otherwise- for fuck’s sake you haven’t even met him yet what would you know of his feelings?” You had gotten up from your place at the sofa now- you were getting late for your dinner anyways without Loki ruining your mood.

“I know how one acts when one is smitten by someone.” He just spoke in a calm voice. “And from what you’ve told me he has it bad for you. I simply don’t want you to feel bad about breaking his heart and therefore think you should make matters clear before you hurt him any further.”

That did for you- it was quite literally the last straw. “I am _not_ hurting him by being his friend Loki, because unlike yourself not everyone wants to fuck everything that moves and so neither does Matthew. He appreciated and enjoys my friendship and that’s it. Now if you’ll excuse me I have a dinner to attend.”

You were ready to storm out of his room and would have done so too if it weren’t for him getting up from the sofa and grabbing onto your wrist preventing you from leaving.

“Let go of me.” You said at once.

“I apologize my dear, please do not get upset with me. I won’t have it.” Even though his last words may seem aggressive his voice was soft and genuine.

“You won’t have it?” You repeated a scowl still on your face.

“Poor choice of words.” He said with a small smile. “Forgive me?”

You found it hard to maintain the scowl while looking at his apologetically smiling face. His smile- though mostly just reserved for you, was truly infectious. “I’ll consider it.” You said keeping up with the scowl. You can’t just let him off the hook that easy- what would that say about you?

“That’s all I ask for.” He replied. “Now, in an act of apologizing for being judgmental at first, may I ask where you and your friend plan on dining?”

You gave him a skeptical look.

“One hundred percent platonically of course.” He added.

“At his house.”

His face threatened to break out into that patronizing smile of his again at your answer.

“He offered to cook for me.” You said defensively.

“Oh gods you have got to be kidding me.” He laughed at you again and you’ve had enough of it.

You pulled your hand away from his, “Fuck off you perverted arsehole,” and marched out towards the door.

* * *

You went to Matthew’s home that night still a little mad from your previous conversation with Loki. Matthew seemed to have noticed and asked you if everything was alright. You just chalked up the blame to _Odin_ and the issues you were having in Alfheim.

He took your word for it very easily and you might have felt bad for lying to him had you not been lying to everyone ever day. He then proceeded to promise how he would do everything in his power to make sure your mind stays away from those upsetting matters at least for the duration of the dinner so you could enjoy yourself.

You appreciated his concern. And in fact you did find his company to be a nice distraction. He talked of his day since you couldn’t very well talk about yours. That much hadn’t happened it seemed but he still managed to keep the conversation lively. You were having a good time.

Not to mention the food was amazing. He was definitely one hel of a chef and you made sure to compliment him thoroughly on the same. You were enjoying yourself and Matthew’s company that much was certain however it wasn’t as if you had completely forgotten about Loki’s words.

Every time he would compliment you on something- which first happened within two minutes of you reaching his house, he had paid your appearance a compliment- you would think about what Loki had said. Was letting him compliment you really leading him on?

No. You shook that thought out of your head. You wouldn’t let Loki’s words get to you and ruin what you had with Matthew- which was pure unadulterated friendship. 

_But what if that’s not how he feels too?_ A voice inside your head asked.

Oh for fuck’s sake you were going to kill Loki.

Your mind must have been really distracted when Matthew brought out the desert, a dragon fruit pie because you missed whatever it was he had said or asked rather going by his expectant stare at you like he was waiting for an answer.

“I’m sorry could you repeat that?” You asked making pink dust across his cheeks. Gods this boy blushed a lot.

 _Did he? Or was he just always a blushing mess around because he’s trying to court you?_ The voice inside your head popped back up and if you could give voices a form you would give that particular one in your head Loki’s, so you could strangle him to death.

“I-uh I was, well I was just wondering if you’d like to accompany me to the ball?” He asked rather bashfully.

You blinked at him for the smallest moment. Was he asking you to come to the ball with him as his friend? Or as his escort? Was this his way of making his feelings for you known?

No, it was Loki’s concerns talking not your own. You knew Matthew was just a friend to you and that you were just a friend for him as well.

“Sure.” You replied surprising yourself.

Matthew was a little surprised at your answer but definitely pleased.

_You’re leading him on._

For fuck’s sake you weren’t! This was simply about principles. If you were to deny his request you would let _Loki’s_ voice inside your head win and admit that you thought Matthew had anything other than platonic friendly feelings for you. You didn’t think that and neither did he have any other feelings for you. He had asked you to accompany him to the ball as friends and you had accepted. _As friends._


	9. Chapter 9

A few days had passed since your fight with Loki and you hadn’t spoken to him since. Simply put you were very upset with him for what he had said to you. It was the reason you had to dress up for this blasted ball in the first place wasn’t it? Had he not made his assumptions about Matthew you could’ve been able to politely decline him but you didn’t because you _had_ to prove Loki wrong.

It was the only reason you dug up the box of the only fancy dress you owned from under your bed. You would’ve just worn the fancy dress shirt you owned but you had spilled something on it the last time you wore it and you hadn’t bothered to get it fixed yet. Of course you had another emergency dress shirt but it had fallen victim to a rip as well and was in dire need of some rethreading.

Which left the dress as your only option- unless that is you were willing to just show up in your casual very much non-fancy clothes. You had already considered that option and sadly parted with the idea all the same. No you were going to put up with all the laces and the sashes of that damned dress walk into the ball with Matthew only to rub your _friendship_ in Loki’s face. Well Odin’s rather since he would definitely be disguised as him.

But well you were petty enough to find the satisfaction you needed in that as well.

You were standing in front of your mirror all dressed a few minutes before Matthew had agreed to pick you up at your house. The dress still fit you as nicely as it did the day you bought it. It had been an impulse purchase of course. You got it the day you were promoted to General at the Asgardian army. However this was really the first time you had ever worn it.

It was a nice floor length black dress with some gold accents to it. No hoop skirts were required- it wasn’t a ball gown just a pretty dress. You liked the sleeves of them especially- they were slimly fitted around your arm up until the elbow before flaring out into bat sleeves made of a sheer black mesh fabric. It also had a golden belt cinching up at your waist.

You wore simple flats though- you couldn’t expect yourself to deal with heels as well.

Shortly after, Matthew had arrived at your house and the two of you made your way to the palace. He of course complimented your appearance however this time he seemed to be at a bit of loss for his words. You expected the same- seeing the woman you only ever saw in either an armor or the casual attire, dressed up in a fancy dress should have that effect on you.

“I mean I- uh, wow you look absolutely stunning.” He had finally said after a fair amount of stumbling and word searching.

You gave him a genuine smile, “I could say the same for you!”

“You would be lying then, to think I could ever even compete with you on beauty.” He replied.

You laughed it off but you couldn’t help it but think that’s not something you say to a friend.

No, that was just Loki getting in your head. That’s simply how Matthew was, he liked complimenting people.

Gods was this getting annoying. The constant back and forth between your own thoughts and what Loki and said and what you were deliberately thinking just to oppose what Loki had said. Was this how it would always be now? Just you constantly worrying about whether or not you would break Matthew’s heart?

You stopped worrying about it shortly after you arrived at the palace though, even though you were holding onto Matthew’s arm for propriety’s sake.

The ballroom- the largest one in the palace was exceptionally decorated. You recognized the seating, the buffet, the musicians and everything as something you had chosen out with Loki a few days ago though you hardly gave yourself any credit for it. It was beautiful, it truly was and even though it wasn’t the drunk, disorderly and deafening that you were used to and preferred it was still pretty damned great.

You could appreciate it for its elegance and Matthew even seemed to enjoy it. He immediately asked you for a dance earning a laugh from you.

“I’m deeply sorry Matthew but I simply don’t dance.” 

“Oh come now, surely you can make an exception for your dear friend.” He urged you on tugging at your hand with a smile.

“Believe me when I say you don’t want me to dance with you. I’m horrible at it- my body just doesn’t want to coordinate that properly.” You insisted staying your ground.

“Your body can coordinately work together to fight off three different opponents at the same time but it can’t sway with the music?” He asked with a laugh. “Highly unlikely.”

“I assure you Matthew your toes will thank you if you just leave me here and take someone else to the dance floor; else I’ll step on them with my horrible lack of synchronization.” was your reply.

“So I’ll have to sacrifice a few toes, big deal.” He declared and with that pulled you onto the dance floor.

You did end up stepping on his toes a bunch but he didn’t seem to mind. You had to admit to yourself you had fun. You had thought attending this ball in your fancy dress dancing and giggling- because you couldn’t very well snort out loud at such an elegant event- would be tiring and boring. But it really wasn’t.

You felt good in your fancy dress and you enjoyed dancing with Matthew even if he did tease you every once in a while about your horrible dancing skills. The food at the buffet was extravagant as expected; you especially knew that since you’d helped pick the menu. You and Matthew tasted a fair amount of the dishes there and they were all delicious. Matthew in particular seemed to enjoy them with much enthusiasm considering his love for cooking. You didn’t drink anything though- as much as you liked drinking you wouldn’t go anywhere near all that fruity, colorful stuff. Some morals were meant to be kept.

It seemed Matthew had tired himself quite enough with dancing, or he had just had enough of you stepping on his toes but was too polite to say anything, because he asked you if you’d like to go to the balcony for a while to get some fresh air.

You complied.

There were many balconies in the ballroom of course and you went to the nearest empty one. The two of you leaned against the railing admiring the view. There truly were fewer beautiful things in life than the view of Asgard in all its glory from the palace’s balcony.

The stars twinkled nicely and you realized you had never really taken the time to ever admire them properly. The cosmos- all bared naked out for you to see. Within each twinkle of a star was an entire universe, an entire mystery that you shall never be able to fully explore in your lifetime. Or a thousand.

Good thing you didn’t want to either. You liked the universe, the cosmos as is- a mystery and you were at peace with the fact that it shall always remain like so to you. You couldn’t imagine wanting to explore it all, dreaming of learning everything about it- you would have absolutely gone insane because of your inability to do so.

Matthew decided to break the silence that seemed to have surrounded the two of you. “It’s quite beautiful isn’t it?”

You turned to look at him and gave him a smile, only to find him already watching you a ghost of a smile tugging at his lips.

“Positively.” You replied simply. “It’s the most beautiful view I’ve ever seen.”

“And I,” he agreed. “but I must confess I consider you to be far more beautiful than any stars.”

Your heart dropped. Loki had been right. You had been wrong.

Matthew moved closer to you and he placed his hand hesitantly at your arm. “’May I kiss you?”

You would have to break Matthew’s heart.

You immediately moved away holding him at arms’ length. How could you let this happen? Even after Loki had warned you. “I’m sorry Matthew, you may not.” All because you were far too stubborn to let go of your own opinions.

“I-I I’m sorry I didn’t mean to,” He started hurriedly clearly taken aback by your answer. But why? When have you ever indicated you have any romantic feelings for him whatsoever? Was this really on you? Were you really to blame here?

“You don’t have to,” You still decided to take it, simply because you’d rather not see Matthew whom you truly considered a friend upset. “It’s my fault I should’ve made my feelings clear.”

“Oh please you don’t have anything to apologize for it’s just- I though well- um,” He stumbled around his words as was he expected to do and his whole face turned into a blushing red. “I- I should go.”

“Matthew let me-“

But before you could complete whatever it was you wanted to say he was gone. You didn’t chase after him- what would you even say to him? That you were sorry you only saw him as a friend? That would be a lie. You weren’t sorry for your feelings and neither should be he. But of course that would leave it so there would never be anything left to say between you two.

You couldn’t help but be angry at him still though. He was entitled to his own feelings and you were entitled to be angry about them. The first time you had managed to befriend someone other than Loki and this happened. And Loki of course!

You were mad at him too; mad at him for being right.

Someone must have seen your distress on the balcony from the ballroom because you felt someone make their way out into the balcony closing the doors behind them. That got your attention.

You turned around quickly to see who it was only to yelp out in surprise when you saw Loki standing in front of you- the actual Loki black hair, blue eyes and all. Even the damned green and black ensemble.

“What are you doing here? Someone could see you!” You hissed at him hurriedly ignoring all the anger and frustration you were feeling at the moment.

“It’s alright. Don’t worry-” He started to assure you but you were quick to interrupt him.

“Don’t worry?” You enunciated before dropping your voice to a whisper so no one would hear you. “You’re supposed to fucking dead.”

“As I was saying my dear,” he continued paying no attention to your words. “I cast an illusion over us. No one but you can see the real me right now and no one but us can hear whatever we say. You can smack me across the face and all they’d see is Odin making conversation with his Commander.”

“That’s a very tempting offer right now.” You replied with a small laugh before turning back around towards the railing so you could look out onto Asgard.

“What happened?” Loki asked you without any trace of humor in his voice. “I saw …….Matthew- is it?” He continued on your nod, “Well I saw him leave looking rather distressed and no offence but you certainly look agitated as well.” He leaned against the railing with you, “Talk to me.”

“I’m not agitated I’m infuriated because you were right.” You said turning to face him before adding with a laugh, “Go on gloat you know want to.”

“Maybe some other time.” He replied softly, before he brought one of his hands up to your face and wiped a small tear off the corner of your eye that you hadn’t even noticed yet. “Perhaps when you’re not crying.”

“It’s so stupid too!” You scoffed at yourself. “It’s not even my fault- but all I can think about is how I broke his heart.”

Loki flinched at your words. Or was it the self depreciating tone of it all. “I shouldn’t have said that I didn’t think you’d take it to heart.”

“How could I not?” You asked him incredulously. “You prematurely accused me of breaking a man’s heart of playing with it and now it stands to truth that you were right! Not only that but I lost the only friend I had other than you in the process of being proven wrong!”

“I didn’t mean what I said at the time, he barely even knew you. He’ll get over it.” Loki tried reassuring you.

“Oh so I’m overreacting and I should calm down?” You shot at him accusingly.

“I didn’t say that.” He replied plainly.

“Yeah well if you hadn’t said _anything_ to begin with none of this would have happened.”

“How am I the bad guy here?” He asked defensively.

“I don’t know I need someone to blame! Be it or go away.” You replied truthfully while you furiously wiped away at a tear that you noticed this time.

“Well,” his tone softened. “You can’t exactly blame him for falling for you-”

“No one said anything about falling.” You interrupted dejectedly.

“Well he must have.” Loki said with his mischievous smirk. You couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at your lips at the sight of it. “You do look like someone worth falling for in that black and golden dress.”

You rolled your eyes at him though a complete and genuine smile had now appeared on your lips.

“Tell me my dear is there a reason you’re wearing my colors.”

“You don’t own these colors Loki.” You said a once.

“Oh please had you marched in here wearing red and silver I wouldn’t have made anything of it but _black and gold?”_ he said with a cheeky grin, “That’s a little too on the nose isn’t it?”

You couldn’t help but let out an actual laugh.


	10. Chapter 10

You were patiently waiting in Loki’s room, lying on his bed on your stomach with a book open in front of you. You hadn’t planned on reading this particular book nor was it the reason you were in Loki’s room in the first place but you were glad it had caught your eye from all the possible books from his shelves. His room was full of them- bookshelves that is. In fact a whole wall was basically built of bookshelves with numerous books in them.

The current book that was holding your attention seemed to be some sort of book compiled of myths and tales of the old. Myths and tales you were hardly familiar with.

As for the reason you were in his room- it was simply because you had nothing better to do with your free time and therefore decided spending it with Loki was as good a way to spend it as any.

He wasn’t here though; he had some kingly matters to attend to something about the councils. You didn’t really pay much attention to the economical and cultural Asgardian problems simply because you weren’t nearly enough educated on them to be of any use. Certainly not more than Loki himself and his band of councilpeople. So you went to those meeting when it required the presence of the Commander of Einherjar - which were usually meetings regarding military problems and kept your distance from the rest.

Loki however did not keep you waiting for much long and returned to his room an hour or half after yourself. With his Odin disguise on of course.

  
“Can you not just always cast that illusion upon yourself- the one from the night of the ball?” You said glancing up from your book for a minute.

“Do you enjoy looking my face that much my dear?” He asked teasingly as he changed back into himself after having closed the doors behind him.

“Don’t flatter yourself _my king._ ” You said rolling your eyes at him before diverting your attention back to the book. “I simply despise looking at that old man’s face is all.”

Loki just gave you a chuckle. “I already told you my commander, it’s too risky and exhausting- that spell. I’m afraid you’ll just have to suffer a little.”

You hummed back to him in response perhaps a little too invested in the book.

He sat down beside you, “Besides you never told me why you dislike Odin so much? Considering everything else we know about each other that little piece of information hardly seems important enough to warrant a secret between us?” He spoke casually before peeking down upon what you were reading.

“What is that book about anyways? I’ve never seen you that deeply engrossed in a book ever before.”

You sat up beside him, deciding to finally pay him attention as you found him and his queries a little too hard to ignore. “It’s a compilation of myths and such. As for my dislike of Odin I’m keeping no secret from you- I already told you I don’t like Odin simply because I don’t.”

“That’s not a very satisfying answer now is it?” He retorted.

“Well it’s the only one I have.” You shot back and received a look from him which made you let out a sigh.

“Oh come now I’ve already told you everything there is to know about me- even the one thing I’d never told anymore before. Do you really think my dislike of Odin would be where I draw a line?”

“Technically my dear, you never _told_ me your secret I found out about it.” He corrected with a teasing smile.

“And I found out about yours.” You replied, the same smile on his face now reflecting on yours. “It’s the only decent way to start a friendship won’t you agree?”

Loki just rolled his eyes at you deciding he wasn’t going to let you distract him into a banter. “If I’m such a good friend of yours my dear, then just tell me the reason behind your distrust of Odin already. You already know mine it only seems fair that I do too.”

You didn’t know what else to tell him but you didn’t like the thought of him feeling like you didn’t trust him enough to tell him everything there is to tell, therefore you decided to humor him.

“I’m afraid I cannot explain it Loki, I simply have never trusted Odin ever. He always gave me the impression that he was keeping secrets from everyone. That he was constantly lying, that he had painted this picture of himself as a peaceful, selfless ruler all the while hiding skeletons in his closet.”

Loki gave you a look of consideration, “From my personal experience your assumptions about him couldn’t be more correct-”

“So are you satisfied now?”

“But why have those suspicions about him in the first place? Did he ever give you a reason to? I mean no one else in the kingdom or in all the realms for that matter ever doubted him, then why did you?”

You just gave him a tired sigh and leaned against his side resting your head down on his shoulder. “I already told you Loki, I don’t have the answers to any of those questions. My dislike for him was almost instinctive- prematurely decided, much like yours about Matthew-”

“Yes but well anyone- even a blind man could tell Matthew had feelings for you.” He interrupted,

“Are you calling me even less perceptive than a blind man?” You asked feigning to get offended.

“When it comes to perceiving people’s romantic interest in you? Definitely.”

“Well then alright, maybe my intuition about Odin wasn’t the same as yours about Matthew-”

“Couldn’t be farther from it.”

“But,” You punctuated your word for emphasis so he wouldn’t interrupt you again. “It was still just that, an intuition.”

“I guess perhaps that could be plausible.” He said after a while.

“Perhaps it’ll be one of the many mysteries you can never solve?” You remarked teasingly.

“Are you challenging me?” He laughed before something on the book that was now lying open on your lap caught his attention.

“You’re reading about the Valkyries.” He stated quizzically, before moving to take hold of the book- taking away the support his shoulder was providing for your head.

“Yes, why?” You asked.

“I asked you months ago if you’d like me to look into them so you could find out something about your mother, but you declined.” He replied sounding rather hurt.

“Yes well I didn’t want to burden you with it.” You said in an assuring tone. “The spine of the book had the symbol of Valkyrie therefore it simply just caught my eye.”

“You know I could try and find out what happened to them, if you want. All you have to do is ask.”

You gave him a small laugh taking the book out of his hands and closing it shut. “We have enough on our plate as it is what with the more important matters concerning the nine realms and all, piling in on it is the last thing I want.”

Loki moved his hand to hold yours preventing you from setting the book down on the bed. “If it’s more important than the nine realms for you then it’s more important than the nine realms for me.” He spoke gently.

His voice was sincere and the way he was looking into your eyes made it clear that he was absolutely serious. It made you queasy- the thought that you were that much important to Loki. And that’s without even mentioning his kind hold on your wrist and intense gaze. You felt a blush starting to creep up on your face at his honesty and you pulled your hand and eyes away from his and got up from the bed to deposit the book back from where you’d gotten it.

“It’s not more important.” You stated moving towards the bookshelves.

“If you say so.” was his reply before he cleared his throat which meant he was about to change the subject.

You couldn’t be more pleased, you thought as you slid the book back into its proper place on the shelf.

“Speaking of things important to you,” He spoke and his voice and changed back into his usual mischievous one. “How’s Matthew doing?”

You rolled your eyes at his question, deciding to look for some other book you could indulge.

“He’s doing fine I guess,” you replied. “I think he got over it like you said he would.”

“He did?” Loki asked sounding surprised.

“Probably. I wouldn’t know he changed his group so he wouldn’t have to train with me anymore.”

Loki took some time thinking it over most likely, before he spoke again.

“You’re still his Commander though.

“That I am.”

“It probably won’t be that awkward between the two of you.” He commented and you didn’t have to turn around to imagine the big grin that was definitely gracing his face right now.

“Shut up Loki,” a grin tugged at the corners of your lips as well.

You did eventually find a book worth your time- it was a book about spaceships and alien spaceships in particular. You were already learning how to pilot them and even though you were quite good at it already you could always use some help getting better. Loki chose some random book- a novel from the looks of it and the two of you simply just spent the rest of the evening reading silently beside each other.

You liked spending time with Loki like this. The fact that the two of you could just sit in silence engaging in separate tasks while still enjoying each other’s company was baffling to you. Whenever you were with someone else you usually felt like you had to constantly be talking, to be doing something together- interacting for it to be comfortable, but with Loki you could just sit on his bed and read your stupid book about alien spaceships with him beside you with his own stupid book about some story.

Soon, however the time for you to leave arrived. You couldn’t finish the book you were reading and Loki offered that you take it with you and return it whenever.

“You and I both know I’m never reading this book again.” You said with a laugh as you got up from his bed leaving the book behind.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then, Loki.” You said giving him a nod, he was laying down on the bed on his stomach his forearms supporting him up so he could read the book which was kept open in front of him.

“Dream of me, will you my dear?” He teased with a smile as he looked up at you shutting his own book and pushing it to the side.

You shook your head at him with a smile before replying back in your own teasing voice, “Oh please _my dear king_ I think we both know I prefer blondes.”

The smile fell from his lips for whatever reason, nevertheless you still reveled in the fact that it did. “Hilarious.” He said plainly as if unamused.

You simply turned around and made your way to the door. “I wasn’t joking,” before adding cheekily, “Do you want me tell your brother you said hello from when I see him in my dreams?”

You were very well expecting the book that was thrown in your direction as you dodged it with a laugh.

“Good night _my king._ ” You said still giggling as you got out of his room.


	11. Chapter 11

Three whole years. Loki and you had managed to keep up the charade for three whole years now before anyone suspected anything. You had to put up with Loki making some decisions that you didn’t wholeheartedly agree with- like banishing Heimdall and hiring that buffoon Skurge in his place instead. But you stood by him still, knowing it was the only way you could keep the illusion going.

You couldn’t help but wonder what else you would have put up with one day when Lady Sif started asking you some questions.

“It doesn’t make any sense does it?” She asked you as she swung her sword at you which you blocked with your own.

The two of you were sparring together- you had sparred with Lady Sif before. You weren’t friends with her by any stretch of the word but you would be lying if you said you didn’t admire her for her valiance and strength.

You made a complete turn and slashed your sword in her direction.

“Since when does Odin throw such extravagant balls and commemorate Loki with plays and monuments?” She asked dodging your attack. “Something feels off about him.”

“Perhaps it’s grief?” You offered plainly acting as if her query wasn’t making you anxious. After all Lady Sif was no fool. “He did lose his son and his wife.” You added hoping it would persuade her to drop the topic.

It didn’t.

“Perhaps,” She still humored the thought but didn’t sound at all convinced. “But what of all the chaos in the nine realms?” Both of your swords again came in contact in an X as you both tried to push the other enough to make them drop their weapon.

Even though Lady Sif was distracted by the conversation- interrogation more like for you, it didn’t seem to affect her fighting at all. You could respect that.

“What of it all?” You questioned.

“Well,” she started as her sword twirled off your own before she made a 180 degree turn, taking a step closer to you and jabbing her elbow against your stomach- making you effectively drop your sword. Her own came up to your chin as she held it there with a smirk on her face. “It just seems a little incompetent for Odin doesn’t it?”

You knew the accompanied smirk had nothing to do with what she was saying but rather the fact that she seemed to have bested you. Either way you didn’t like the smirk in the slightest- nor the words. Because by calling the current rule incompetent she wasn’t only unknowingly calling _Loki_ incompetent- she was calling you incompetent as well. Loki consulted with you on every matter and the two of you put out fires as they came together.

Not to mention calling the current rule incompetent and especially so when comparing it to Odin’s was very hypocritical. Why was it that Odin’s competency was never once questioned when two frost giants broke into the palace’s treasury the day of his son’s coronation? When his own son defied his orders and marched into Jotunheim waging war? Or better yet when some fairytale elves lay waste to his army and killed off the much capable king’s q-

You flicked your wrist and a small dagger fell down from the sleeve of your shirt. You gave the woman holding the sword to your neck a mischievous smile as you pressed the dagger against her stomach- hard enough for its presence to be known but not hard enough for it to cause any damage.

“He let his own son die in Svartalfheim battling enemies of Asgard he was too crazed to properly face on his own- the same son he had declared an enemy of Asgard and locked up in a cell for doing the exact same thing for which his brother only had to face banishment to Midgard.” You stated perhaps a little too critically, but you couldn’t help yourself. “I’d say he has always been a little incompetent alright.”

Lady Sif gave you a hearty laugh, “I should’ve expected the second blade.” She commented before moving away from you retracting her own weapon. You did the same before throwing your dagger away and bringing your hands up in combating positions.

Your sparring partner gave you a complying smile before letting go of her own sword and kicking it to the side. “Besides since when did you start caring about Loki anyways?” 

“I don’t _care_ about the late prince; I simply respect him for what he did for the nine realms.” You replied effortlessly.

You decided to attack first as you threw a punch her way, which she blocked with her left arm grasping hold of your wrist and using it to twist your hand behind your back. Your back was now against her front.

“Alright I’ll give you that one.”

You brought your leg up and kicked back against her right thigh as you turned around and landed a blow to her arm- the one that was holding onto yours making her let go of your wrist.

“But how about the fact that he banished Heimdall for committing treason but kept you, the warriors three and me around?” She asked using her leg to swipe your own off the ground as you fell down on your back, letting out a groan of pain at the impact.

She was instantly on top of you the weight of her body making it so you very well couldn’t move. She pinned one of your hands beside your head with her own hand. Her knee holding down the other one. “Doesn’t that seem a little suspicious to you?”

She asked rather cockily no doubt knowing that you couldn’t possibly get yourself out of her hold. You didn’t have to however. The cocky smile fell from her face exchanged by a troubled look before an exasperated one took its place.

You had another dagger- one procured from your other shirt sleeve pressing up against her thigh. You just gave her a cheeky smile.

“This was supposed to be hand-to-hand. No weapons.”

“Oh come now my lady,” You spoke mischievously, “I’m not above a little cheating every once in a while now, am I?” 

* * *

You had somehow managed act completely and totally indifferent around Lady Sif and her constant questions all throughout your sparring session. You couldn’t have very well just walked out of there without raising further questions and doubts and the one time you actually wanted Loki to interrupt your training hours with some frivolous request of his- he didn’t.

You tried to convince Lady Sif that she was merely overthinking everything and that as far as you could tell there was nothing suspicious about Odin. Sure he made a monument in the loving memory of his son which admittedly was very out of the ordinary for him but you chalked it all up to grief and guilt. After your training hours were done you made a beeline for the king’s chambers.

You knocked on his door impatiently. He took a minute to answer but surely enough in a few seconds you were greeted with the sour face of Odin. His face lit up when he saw you and a smile made its way onto his face. A smiling Odin, your creepiest nightmare.

“For the billionth time do not smile at me in that disguise.” You said irritably as you pushed past him and made your way into his room.

“And for the billionth time my dear,” He replied closing the door shut behind him before turning back into his usual self- black and green robes and all. “It’s a reflex.” He gave you a playful smile.

However you were not here to indulge him seeing rather you had more important matters to discuss. “We have a problem.” Your tone was urgent, your hands folded to your chest.

Loki’s face instantly turned into a more serious one, “What is it?”

“I think Lady Sif might suspect something.”

“Are you certain?”

A deep sigh escaped your lips, “She asked me if I thought there was something off about Odin- told me she thought his reign has suddenly turned into an _incompetent_ one.”

“Incompetent?” Loki repeated and he seemed deeply offended- as he should. “She thinks our rule is incompetent? If I recall correctly it was under Odin’s rule that Malekith raged havoc on Asgard- in his own palace! No one’s attacked Asgard ever since I’ve been on the throne.”

“And I told her the same,” You started before realizing what he had said, “Wait did you call it _our_ rule as in yours and mine?” You asked clearly amused.

Loki himself seemed to have not realized his own words as he opened his mouth to say something in reply before closing it uncertainly.

You amusement only grew and you made sure to show it on your face.

“Oh fuck off.” He replied and you smirked back at him very much enjoying the fact that he didn’t have a comeback.

“So Sif?” He urged trying to shift the conversation back.

You just shook your head at him with a smile, deciding not to torture him about it. What could you say you must be feeling generous.

“Yes, she’s becoming suspicious and I suggest we do something about it before it gets out of hand.” You said and for the slightest of second the thought that maybe what you were doing was wrong crossed your mind. Isn’t this the exact same thing you despised Odin- for keeping secrets?

You couldn’t however very well dwell on that fact as Loki spoke again, “Tell me everything that happened.” He demanded and you could tell by the look on his face he was already formulating some sort of plan. 

You filled him in on everything from how she seemed to find it weird that he had banished Heimdall but not you, Fandral, Hogun, Volstagg and herself to how she found the fact that Odin would have those horns built to pay tribute to Loki highly unbelievable.

“I think now would be good time to remind you that I advised you against having those built.” You commented never one to back away from telling someone ‘I told you so’.

“Well in that case I think now would definitely not be the best time to tell you that I’m planning on having a 40 feet high statue of myself built.” He replied with a sheepish smile and you just gave him an incredulous look.

“You’re planning on _what_?” You enunciated. “You can’t possibly think-”

“We’ll talk about it later.” He said cutting you off. “Let’s focus on the problem at hand shall we?”

Your hands moved up to rub at your temples- the amount of self-indulgent that man was in need of baffled you. In truth you considered yourself to be quite the attention seeker, truly an overconfident vain piece of work- but you paled in comparison to Loki.

“What do you think we should do?” You asked, “Just ignore her? Try to convince her otherwise?”

“We can’t ignore her, Sif is no fool, and she’s bound to become a problem if we don’t do anything about her.” Loki replied, before continuing on with a shrug, “But we can’t try and talk her out of it either as she might find it suspicious.”

He had a look of determination on his face and the worst thought crossed your mind. “You’re not gonna have her-”’

“Killed?” He offered and your brows knitted together as you gaped at him.

“Banished!” You spoke, “I was gonna say banished- you can’t’ just kill Lady Sif because she’s posing to be a problem for you.” And you punched him on the arm in annoyance so as to make sure you got your point across.

“Ow, stop it.” Loki said dodging away from the second punch you sent his way. “Kidding, I was kidding!”

You gave him an unamused look and received just a playful grin from him in return. “I’d never kill off your _precious_ _Lady_ Sif if she means that much to you my dear.”

You rolled your eyes at him deciding to ignore the comment. “So banishment? Is that it then? Are we just going to banish her like we did Heimdall and then hire some fool like Skurge in her stead?” You asked rather bitterly.

You didn’t like the idea of banishing Lady Sif simply because it would prove difficult to keep a secret otherwise. She was an incredibly capable warrior and just wanted what was the best for Asgard. To you it seemed too much like the kind of thing Odin would do. And that was the last thing you wanted.

“I don’t think that would be the wisest decision really.” Loki replied still distractedly rubbing a hand over the arm you had punched him on. “That will only reinforce her suspicions not to mention it will make her that much more difficult to deal with.” He stated before continuing, “We only had to do so with Heimdall because there was no other way.”

You unconsciously gave him an impressed look. He certainly looked at a problem from every possible angle and you had to give him credit for that. “So what do you suggest we should do?” You asked him having no doubt that he must have already figured out a plan.

He gave it a bit of thought almost as if making sure that whatever it was that he was about to say next was the best possible way to deal with this. He was very different than you in that regard. You would often times just keeping spitting out whatever idea came into your mind, brainstorming out loud until you stumbled upon a satisfactory idea. Loki it seemed was much more calculating and decisive to do so.

“We’re sending an army to Alfheim next week aren’t we?” He asked looking up at you, “To help them fight off against the enemies’ attacks?”

You nodded. There were many enemies of Asgard arising within the day it seemed and instead of just taking on Asgard at once they were first targeting the realms that Asgard provided protection to. You suspected it was their way of attacking the Asgardian reputation. It would make Asgard look weak.

“I suggest we send her off there so she can’t influence the council or anyone important, she’d be too busy with the war. We can just keep relocating her- keep her occupied and far away from here.”

You gave him a genuine smile at that. It was a smart plan shaped out of tactical thinking instead of plain self-preservation. The fight on Alfheim could use some help and it would be the most logical thing to send Lady Sif there. She wouldn’t question it and it would certainly work out in the best of Asgardians interest. Not to mention it seemed like the farthest thing than what Odin would have done.

You nodded your assent to Loki’s plan before going back to a previous concern of yours. “Now about that statue of yours,”


	12. Chapter 12

You were leaning against a column with a bottle of ale in your hand as you watched the play: The Tragedy of Loki of Asgard for what felt like the hundredth time. ‘Odin’ would always have a royal private watching of this exact play every year on the anniversary of Loki’s death, Loki’s birthday and then basically every which day he would feel like it. It first debuted some 3 and a half years ago and it was a grand event but since then ‘Odin’ would have private shows of it in one of the palace’s courtyards for him to watch.

You rolled your eyes at the _heart wrenching_ scene of Loki dying and you noticed some of the people there actually crying real tears. If only they knew, you thought. It took everything in you to stop yourself from snorting at the absurdity and conceitedness of it all.

“Commander (Y/N), get help!” The Thor from the play said to the you from the play, through his staged tears.

That’s right; Loki had even written you into that obnoxious play of his. “It has to be realistic (Y/N).” Loki had told you when you asked him if he could leave you out of it.

Realistic your ass, you thought as the play (Y/N) fell down to her knees and started saying a bunch of made up bullshit about how she admired Loki very much for his bravery and selflessness and that she would have liked to know him better but how regardless his death shall always remain one she won’t ever recover from. Yeah, needless to say that wasn’t how you remember it going.

The play went on all with its usual exaggeration of what actually happened that day and the Asgardians that were the audience for today’s show cried at the authenticity of it all. Theatre; you truly would never understand it.

Things were going as they usually go at a performance of this particular play when suddenly you noticed Thor, the real Thor making his way through the crowd towards ‘Odin’ with something resembling a skull but not quite, in his hands.

Oh boy, you were screwed.

You hurriedly placed down the alcohol on the nearest surface before moving towards ‘Odin’ yourself in hopes of maybe giving him a head start so he won’t screw it all up- but you were simply not fast enough. You were only halfway through there when Thor had reached him. You stopped where you were, a little lost at what you should do.

Surely Loki can maintain the charade around Thor couldn’t he? You thought, before remembering about that huge statue that Thor would have no doubt encountered on his way here.

Yeah no, you were screwed alright.

You watched the pair in anticipation, you couldn’t really hear exactly what they were saying and only caught bits and pieces there but from the looks of it things were not going as you would have liked them to.

And then suddenly Thor spun Mjolnir before hurling it off into the distance.

You moved a little nearer. 

“You know nothing will stop Mjolnir as it returns in my hand.” Thor spoke and grabbed Loki by the back of his neck.

You heard everyone gasp dramatically and you would have too if you weren’t dying of anxiety. “Not even your face.” Thor added.

“You’ve gone quite mad; you’ll be executed for this.” Loki said clearly anxious though he still refused to surrender.

“Then I’ll see you on the other side, brother.”

“Oh my gods, just give up you idiot.” You muttered under your breath. There was no other way out of this- the gig was up. You didn’t know whether or not Loki could survive getting his skull smashed in by Mjolnir but you weren’t curious enough to find out either.

You watched the hammer rocketing back towards Thor’s hand- and therefore towards Loki’s disguised face and you were just about to yell out to him when-

“Alright I yield.” Loki said finally giving up and turned back into himself just as Thor pushed him aside.

The Asgardians watched, dumbfounded. The revelation taking them by surprise as was expected. A part of you was relieved you didn’t have to watch Loki die for the second time, but the other was beyond nervous regarding what was about to follow.

Loki turned around to face Thor, his hands up in defense and gave him a smile- the same one a child gives their parents when they’re caught doing something they shouldn’t have.

Before he could say anything though, Skurge made his way through the crowd slightly panting. Had he ran all the way here from the Bifrost? What an idiot. You clearly recall giving him a Midgardian scooter so he wouldn’t have to do exactly that.

“Behold! Thor,” He spoke in between pants, “Odinson-”

Loki however interrupted him with a snap of his fingers before he could finish. “You had one job.” He sounded irritated and you made a mental note to rub it in his face later about how he should’ve listened to you when you advised against hiring that buffoon.

Skurge started saying something probably in his defense but Loki wasn’t having it as he interrupted him again, “Just the one.” before turning back towards his brother.

“Where’s Odin?” Thor asked sounding quite angry, livid even at his brother.

You couldn’t help but wonder if the intensity of his anger would remain the same when it would be directed at you. Thor must have known to expect it all from Loki by now but when he would find out you were a part of it? You imagined he would be quite disappointed maybe even a little betrayed.

You caught your thoughts however before they could convince you that you should be feeling a little guilty. He left the throne unprotected, hadn’t wanted it. He was the one who ignored Asgard and its people for four years instead choosing to gallivant across the universe; he didn’t have any right to judge you here. You did what you thought was the best for your people and you stood by that decision.

It seemed Loki however didn’t catch on to the pissed off tone of his brother or rather just chose to ignore it.

“You just couldn’t stay away, could you?” He asked in annoyance; his personality failing to catch on to the fact that he wasn’t the one in control here.

“Everything was fine without you. Asgard was prospering” He continued almost accusingly before bringing his hands up to gesture towards the crowd, “You’ve ruined everything, ask them.”

“Where’s father? Did you kill him?” Thor asked sounding way more pissed off than before as he advanced onto Loki who backed up onto the stairs.

“You had what you wanted; you had the independence you asked for.” Loki spoke before falling back onto the chaise lounge as Thor pressed Mjolnir down on his chest.

“Alright, alright, alright’,” He rushed finally giving in, “I know exactly where he is.”

Thor gave him a skeptical look before getting his hammer off of him and grabbed onto his arm making him stand up. “Fine then, you’ll take me to him this instance.” He said and just as he was about to spin his hammer around presumably to fly the two of them to Bifrost Loki spoke hurriedly.

“Well _I_ don’t know where he is, my Commander does.” Your jaw dropped at his words. That fucker.

Thor gave him a look of surprise, “Your Commander?” He asked sounding a bit taken aback.

“(Y/N) dear, come out of the crowd already will you?” You glared at him. Sure you knew where Odin was but so did he. It wasn’t as if you were just going to let Thor take him away and not follow behind but the fact that he just revealed that you were in on the whole thing, unprompted?

“You just had to drag me down with you, didn’t you, you asshole.” You shouted out at him and Thor turned to look in your direction.

Yup, he looked betrayed alright.

“Commander (Y/N), you knew about this?” He asked disbelievingly and you would have almost felt bad had you known him any better- he was barely even an acquaintance to you, whyever did he expect your loyalty to him? “I can’t believe you would let this happen without telling me about it.”

He started walking towards you, Loki still in his grasp and the crowd parted instantly to clear a path towards you. He looked angry- and yes the intensity of his anger did increase when directed at you. 

“Hey, hey hey calm down there buddy,” You spoke moving back a little, “In my defense I didn’t think we were good enough friends.” Not the best argument but it was the only one that popped into your head.

* * *

You stood there in front of the Midgardian nursing home you had left Odin in, with Loki and Thor- the three of you of course dressed in Midgardian clothing. You had only been to Midgard once before- when you were battling Malekith alongside Thor, Lady Jane and her friends. You had gotten a glimpse of Midgardian fashion back then but not a very good one considering you were in the middle of saving the nine realms and all. But now that you had time to actually glance at the passerby Midgardians and were in fact dressed like one yourself you could perceive it better.

And well it was weird. As in different weird- you were wearing something called ‘denim jeans’ which were incredibly unfamiliar and so goddamned tight too, especially when compared to the regular wool and leather pants you had worn all your life. Why do they have to be so tight? You doubted you could even roundhouse kick someone in these- you preferred pants to dresses in terms of comfort but unlike these denim jeans you could _easily_ kick someone in the face with a dress on.

Loki insisted you couldn’t just wear your Asgardian clothing because you had to maintain a low profile but then of course he promptly snapped on a completely black suit for himself. How the hel was that ‘maintaining a low profile’? Not to mention you were here with Thor, who even in his own ridiculous Midgardian clothes was easily recognizable. And he was very famous among the Midgardians as well; people were constantly staring at the three of you and you knew it wasn’t you who was warranting all the attention.

But of course the fashion choice of your little group wasn’t the biggest of your problems. The biggest problem was that the nursing home where you and Loki had put Odin was being destroyed.

“I swear I left him right there.” Loki spoke from beside you as the three of you watched on to the building getting wrecked in front of you, your hands folded to your chest. _How did this backfire?_

“Right here on the sidewalk? Or right there, where the building’s being demolished?” Thor shot back. “Great planning.”

“How was I supposed to know?” Loki asked with a shrug of his shoulder, “Can’t see into the future. I’m not a witch.”

“No?” Thor replied instantly before glancing at his brother, “Then why do you dress like one?”

You couldn’t help but let out a snort at that.

“Hey!” Loki complained sounding offended.

“Really?” You asked incredulously, “That’s what you choose to take offence on- your fashion choices?”

Before Loki could say anything to you Thor interrupted accusingly, “I can’ believe you lied to me,” before his attention diverted back from you to Loki “I can’t believe you’re alive. I saw you die. I mourned you, I cried for you.”

“I’m honored.” Loki replied and it sounded more like a question than an answer, like he didn’t have anything better to say. You knew him better than that of course.

One night when the two of you had somehow ended up talking about your childhoods, and after you had told Loki about the rather lonely one you had, he had shared his own stories as well. And he had told you all about his emotions of turmoil towards his big brother, about how he felt insignificant and incompetent like he was living in Thor’s shadow. And now when Thor was telling him about how he _mourned_ his death all he could give him was a ‘I’m honored; question mark’.

The duality of a man.

Before the conversation between the two brothers could proceed any further however, two Midgardian women came up to Thor looking rather starstruck and excited, “Hi,” One of them- the one in the green jacket said, “Would you mind taking a picture with us?”

“Sure.” Thor answered and one of the women moved to stand on his other side as the one in the green jacket held up a…………thing?

You leaned in towards Loki and whispered to him uncertainly, “What’s happening?”

Loki just replied in a tired sigh as he rolled his eyes at his brother, “It’s a midgardian device called a phone,” You vaguely remembered him telling you something about those. “They’re taking a picture with him, the phone captures it.”

You didn’t fully understand Midgardian ‘technology’ but it sounded like a simple enough premise, “Sounds cool.” You replied appreciatively.

“You two, start figuring out where he is.” Thor said at you and Loki before posing for the picture. It only took a second or two. You knew Midgardians were advanced enough after having met Lady Jane but you had no idea everyday mundane things in here were also this impressive.

“Sorry to hear that Jane dumped you.” One of the women said to him and she sounded sympathetic enough you guessed, before the two of them went away.

“Lady Jane dumped you?” You asked Thor a bit taken aback by the new information.

“She didn’t dump me,” He replied with a scoff that you think he wanted to be nonchalant maybe? “I dumped her, it was a mutual dumping.”

Loki just gave him a supportive pat on his back but all you could muster up was a skeptical look. Yeah, she probably dumped him, you thought.

You heard a sound coming from underneath and when you glanced down at the ground you saw something spinning around Loki’s feet. Now you were no expert but the glowing golden sparks that were now _circling_ Loki seemed like magic.

Loki looked around and he seemed unsettled and you gave him a questioning look to which he only replied with a shake of his head.

“What’s this?” Thor asked anxiously, “What are you- what- what are you doing?”

Loki looked at him presumably to answer but you beat him to it, “That’s not his magic.”

It was a fucking golden ring for gods’ sake- Loki’s magic was always in more cool tones, usually a green but you could imagine it being a teal. An orange-gold? That wasn’t Loki. 

And then suddenly he was sucked into the ground you lunged forward with a cry of his name trying to grasp onto him or something but it had all happened so quickly your hands couldn’t reach him in time. 

He had disappeared seemingly into the ground, the ring of sparks vanishing behind him as well.

“What the fuck just happened?” You cursed loudly staring disbelievingly onto the spot where Loki was standing just seconds ago- until you noticed a piece of paper lying there. You weren’t sure if it had simply always been there and none of you had noticed it or it had something to do with what just happened.

Thor tapped the paper with his ‘umbrella’ and whispered at it, “Loki?”

You gave him a look somewhere between annoyance and bafflement, “Do you really think that orange thing turned him into a fucking piece of paper? Are you serious right now?” You asked him angrily as you bent down to pick up that piece of paper.

“One seven seven A Bleecker S T,” you read out loud before holding it out to Thor, “Do you know what that means?”

He gave the writing a bit of thought before answering, “It looks like an address.”

“Do you know where this is?”

He just shrugged his shoulders a no.

You gave him an exasperated sigh before noticing a passing by man who was quite blatantly staring at Thor but obviously was too intimidated to come up to him. As soon as he walked by you, you grabbed him by the back of his jacket hood stopping him from getting away. Maybe you were a bit harsh with your grip but you argued this moment called for a little bit of harshness.

For fuck’s sake your best friend was just swallowed up by the ground. 

“Can you tell us where this address is?” You asked the man who was currently in your hold and held up the paper to him.

He gave you a scared but still affronted look as he glanced between you and Thor, before speaking up in quite the squeaky voice, “I- uh I’m sorry, this is- this is very rude you can’t just-”

You didn’t let him finish however and interrupted him hurriedly, “Tell us where this is and Thor here, will take as many pictures with you as you would like.”

The man gave you the directions.


	13. Chapter 13

The address on the piece of paper wasn’t unbearably far away but it was far away enough. Thor and you were walking down some alleyway and you were some 10 to 15 minutes away from One Seven Seven A Bleecker S T going off of what the Midgardian had told you.

The journey was just a tad bit uncomfortable considering all that had happened and you could tell Thor was itching to say something. You knew he was pissed at you but you were also glad that he was holding it in for now considering you had a bigger thing to deal with.

“Who’d you think it is?” You asked not really liking the awkward silence you were trapped in.

Thor gave you a questioning look.

“The one who abducted Loki or whatever.” You elaborated casually. “Is it one of your Midgardian-”

However he interrupted you before you could finish, “I can’t believe you two!”

On second thought you should’ve probably kept your mouth shut until you had reached the place you were headed towards instead of trying to start a conversation with him.

You could really hear just how pissed off he really was with the words that followed, “To leave father out here on Earth while Loki tricked our people and pretended to be him! What were you thinking?”

“Oh spare me the judgment Thor.” You said rolling your eyes at him, “It’s not like all we did was sit on our asses all day enjoying plays written by Loki to stroke his own ego. We took care of the Nine Realms.”

Thor scoffed at you his pace now coming to a complete halt making you do the same as well. “Took care of the Nine Realms?” He asked incredulously. “The Nine Realms were in chaos, Nilfheim fell in on itself months ago Nidavellir-”

“ _Nidavellir_ was going to receive the best army Asgard had to offer led by yours truly,” You replied before continuing pointedly, “But of course because I’m stuck here now, that army won’t be leaving until after I get back. Wonder who I have to blame for that?”

“We’re looking for just that man right now.” He shot back with a tight lipped smile.

You gave him a disbelieving laugh, “Sure let’s blame everything on Loki shall we? The Nine Realms have _always_ been in chaos- whether it was under Odin’s rule or his grandfather’s, that’s the nature of existence. But it only becomes a problem when you can chalk it up to Loki, doesn’t it?”

Thor didn’t have anything to say to that, of course he didn’t.

You weren’t saying Loki was innocent or heroic or anything- much like all the other members of the royal family he too was an asshole who had made many mistakes and has done many bad things.

But you had also realized during the time you’d gotten to know him that all those mistakes were at least understandable if not forgivable. Loki had a rough childhood and you weren’t making excuses for him- you really weren’t. You had a rough childhood yourself but you didn’t try to take over a whole other planet like a tyrant. But again you weren’t arguing for forgiveness here, just a little bit of understanding.

You were never one to excuse someone’s wrongdoings on their difficult past. But you were also never one to withhold credit where it was due. And so while it was Loki who would undoubtedly have to carry the burden and responsibility of his mistakes until the end of times- it was Odin who deserved the credit for them all.

“So is that it then? You helped Loki lie to all the Asgardians because you thought that was the right thing to do?” Thor spoke after a while and sounded very much condescending.

You didn’t like the way he had phrased his words, so you decided instead of just giving him a genuine answer you would throw it back in his face, “I helped Loki because you left me no other choice.”

When in fact you had helped Loki because you wanted to. You did what you did because you didn’t want to tell Thor about it only for him to bring back Odin.

But it wasn’t as if you could have done otherwise either even if you had wanted to, you argued to yourself. Loki knew about the fact that you were an offspring of a Jotun and a Valkyrie. And even though now you were close enough to him that he would never use that information against you; at the time when you found out- you weren’t. And you couldn’t risk it.

“ _I_ left you with no other choice?” He scoffed.

“Yes you left me with any other choice! Even if I did want to tell you all about how Loki had put a spell on Odin and stashed him away in here. Tell me again how did you expect me go contact you when you were in Midgard or any of the other planets for that matter?”

Thor seemed a bit taken aback by your response but before he could say anything in his defense you interrupted him.

“ _You_ abandoned Asgard,” You continued accusingly. “So don’t try and blame me for whatever guilt you may have about not noticing your father’s absence.”

You honestly had no idea you were this mad at Thor for giving up the throne and leaving Asgard to never return for four whole years. You must have, much like every other Asgardian looked up to him- he was the Prince of Asgard for gods’ sake, the heir to the throne. Half your life you had trained to become _his_ Commander and so perhaps you did feel a little _abandoned_ by him.

“I didn’t abandon Asgard.” Thor replied defensively.

“You sure as shit weren’t there for four years.” You shot back instantly.

You saw Thor clench his jaw as he smiled bitterly at you, “What does he have on you?”

You looked at him a bit taken aback by the sudden change in the conversation. “What do you mean?”

Thor just gave you a tired sigh, “I am asking you what was he holding against you that made you help him?”

How did he know that? How could he have possibly deduced that?

He must have read your emotions on your face because he continued, “I know my brother and believe it or not I know you too. You care about Asgard and its people. You would never just betray them like that.”

His words had definitely surprised you and so had his tone. He wasn’t angry or judgmental anymore, rather he sounded actually genuine like he wanted to help you.

You didn’t need his help, you told yourself as you collected your composure back. “I didn’t betray Asgard anymore than you did four years ago when you went against your father’s orders to fight Malekith. And you may find this hard to believe but I actually trust Loki.”

“You trust Loki?” He said with a patronizing laugh.

“Listen here God of Thunder,” You started a little too irately than one probably should when talking to a God, “You may think Loki’s nothing more than a sack of evil or mischief or whatever but he’s my friend. And I’d choose him sitting on the throne of Asgard over Odin any day in a heartbeat.”

“And who made you in charge of making that decision?”

“You did! The minute you wiped your hands off the throne.” You exclaimed with an exhausted sigh. You were tired of the fact that he would rather keep asking you questions than just keep on lookingfor his brother.

“I was just doing what was best for our people.” You added.

“And you thought lying to them was the way to go about doing that.” He retorted.

You hated that word. Lying. You hated it because it was exactly what you had done. You had lied to your people- the exact thing you hated Odin for. You knew your actions had consequences and therefore you had considered all of it before making your decision. What you hadn’t thought about of course, were the afterthoughts.

The consequences for all your actions had all been ones you could put up with. They were expected and worked in your favor.

Your thoughts however right now, as Thor was confronting you about your actions, about your lying- you hated to admit it but they were all uncertain and guilt-ridden. Your intentions were good and so were the outcomes but your method wasn’t

And well no one not even you, ever considered those who thought ‘the ends justify the means’ were good people.

“Let’s keep moving.” You said in a somewhat smaller voice than before. You didn’t like your thoughts right now and you would rather not indulge them instead of looking for your friend. “You can yell at me all about how what I did was wrong _after_ we find your brother.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! I know I don't usually do author's note but I decided I would pop in this time and say hi! I hope you all are enjoying the story. I would also like to apologize if the fact that I sometimes miss the uploading date bothers anyone- I'm trying to do my best here! I'd rather not change it to one week as I quite like putting out new chapters everyday and so I hope you can put up with my tardiness every once in a while!   
> Anyways here's the new chapter- enjoy!

Thor and you didn’t speak a word to it each other the rest of the way; of course you didn’t it’s called common courtesy. He had said some hurtful stuff to you and you knew you must have as well- it was just easier not to talk. The worst part of it all was that you knew you made him feel bad and you didn’t like that fact in the slightest.

You never had any problems with Thor- you still didn’t. It had just made you a little angry when he had tried to blame everything on Loki- perhaps a little unreasonably so. You _could_ understand why Thor would be angry with Loki and yourself- he was lied to, he had every right to be as pissed off at the two of you as he was if not even more. But despite all that you had still said some very accusatory things to him not only just in your protectiveness of Loki but also in your anger at Thor.

You would be lying if you said you didn’t prefer it in the good old days when you were just a soldier and didn’t have to deal with any of the royal family drama. In fact the only reason you were dragged into this whole thing was because of Loki. But of course you liked him too much to blame him for it.

Regardless he was the reason you were put into a spot where you had to choose who would be the king of Asgard and truly? You didn’t give a shit which one of the three of those dimwits sat on the throne.

They all seemed to have the best of your people in their interest which was really all you could ever care about.

But then, there was your personal preference when it came to Odin. You didn’t like him, fair and simple. Well maybe not the most fair exactly, considering you didn’t have a good enough reason for it. You couldn’t as well just claim he was unfit to be king just because he had been a shitty adoptive parent to your best friend. But even before you found out about his horrible parenting skills you had still disliked him. Your opinion of him may be unreasonable but it was definitely too strong to be ignored.

Then there was Thor of course. He would’ve been a good king; he _should’ve_ been a good king. He had a responsibility to his people that came with his birth into the royal family. And he ran from it in pursuit of his freedom. If you were his friend you could’ve maybe understood and even supported his choice to do so but as his subject- you could only feel a little betrayed by it.

Which left Loki. You liked Loki; you trusted him and the two of you made a good team in terms of ruling Asgard and protecting the Nine Realms. You brought the moral righteousness into the duo and he brought in the knowledge. The two of you together made the heart and the brain of one whole King. Alone of course, neither of you could never even hope to make a decent ruler. But you made for an adequate one with each other. But of course Loki was disliked too much by everyone to ever be given the throne and you were just a half Jotun-half Valkyrie pretending to be an Asgardian.

And that was just about everyone that was left in the House of Odin. What a great selection the people had.

You had shortly after reached One Seven Seven A Bleecker S T. Thor and you walked up to the door after having crossed a roadway with mechanical carriages- cars as Loki had told you, moving along it.

As you stood in front of the door Thor turned to look at you, “I just want you to know that regardless of the argument we just had you can still count on me to have your back.” He spoke casually but still warmly enough that it made a smile tug at the corners of your lips.

You turned to him and replied, “And I have yours.”

Thor brought his hand up and knocked at the glass a couple of times- pounded more like when suddenly a whoosh of air surrounded you and the next thing you know is that you’re standing in a dimly lit room. Your stomach churned up at the feeling of being magically teleported someone. Gods you hated that- your body was not meant to be teleported here and there.

You quickly glanced around yourself and found Thor standing beside you and he looked a little disoriented but more on guard and curious than anything else.

“Thor Odinson,” A deep and smooth voice said from behind the two of you. You turned around to find a figure levitating above the honestly, quite obnoxious window. The man’s cape floated behind him dramatically as he moved closer to the pair of you. “God of thunder.”

You could perceive him better as he came into the light- he was wearing ancient looking blue robes and his cape was red in color. He had a necklace around his neck the pendant of which resembled the previously mentioned window.

Thor held his umbrella up to the man which would’ve been a very funny view had you not already known it was Mjolnir.

You too, held your right arm out beside you and flicked it in the way that makes the dagger that you kept up your sleeve fall down into your hands. You held the dagger out in a jolt and it folded out into a full sized sword.

The man’s eyes flicked towards you at that and he gave you a questioning look, “And who might you be?”

“(Y/N).” You replied plainly.

“(Y/N)?” He repeated your name with a still questioning tilt of his head.

“She’s the Commander of Einherjar, the Asgardian army.” Thor added, still on the defense. It clearly wasn’t one of his Midgardian friends seeing as there was no sense of recognition in his voice.

“You can put the umbrella down,” The man said and in an instant a small umbrella holder of sorts appeared between Thor and yourself. “Your sword too Commander,” He spoke ever so contemptuously.

He reminded you of someone, _wonder who?_ You thought sarcastically as both yourself and Thor put down your weapons. The disguised Mjolnir looked casual enough in that holder but your sword looked as out of place as anything could.

You couldn’t look around any longer however because as soon as your weapons were stored away that magical air surrounded you again and you were yet again teleported into some other, comparatively brighter lit room. You hand instantly went up to your stomach.

“Can you stop doing that please?” You asked nauseously as you looked around, “We get it you can magically teleport us places.”

The man, who was leaning against a tapestry gave you a smirk and replied, “You’ll get used to it.”

The room seemed to be decorated and furnished with several different objects. Some of them were kept in glass displays- which led you to believe that they may be of some value. And upon noticing that obnoxious window from before a little farther away from you, you came to the conclusion that either you were in the same room as before or the man just really had a thing for that specific design.

Thor picked up some piece of the seemingly random artifact that was kept on the table beside him as if to examine it before asking the man, “So earth has wizards now?” He tried to put the thing back but only succeeded in making the whole thing fall apart and he hurriedly tried to put it back together in the most wannabe nonchalant way ever. It only made it fall apart even more.

You had to hold in a laugh.

“The preferred term is Master of the Mystic Arts, you can leave that now.”

“Alright wizard, who are you? Why should I care?”

And where’s Loki? You wanted to add but considering all the nausea you decided otherwise. _Thor will get to that eventually._ You reasoned- Loki was _his_ brother after all.

“My name is Stephen Strange and I have some questions for you.” The man- Stephen Strange spoke plainly and took a small pause before adding, “Take a seat.”

And there it was again- that damned air of magic as you were teleported somewhere. This time however you were sitting on an armchair beside Thor, and Strange was sitting directly in front of the both of you. Sitting apparently helped with the nausea.

Thor looked around in confusion a little bit- he didn’t seem to find all the teleporting as uncomfortable as yourself but it was still jarring.

“Tea?” Strange offered and before either of you could say anything you both had a cup of tea in your hands.

You looked at the cup in your hand curiously before sharing a look with Thor. “We don’t drink tea.” You spoke up.

“What _do_ you drink then?” Strange asked.

“Not tea.” Thor replied with a small haughty smile.

Gods you were _not_ used to the copious amounts of passive aggressiveness that the two men were conversing in.

The cups of tea of course instantly changed into a big glass of beer each.

“Show off.” You mumbled with a smile loud enough that Strange would hear it before taking a big gulp of the drink in your hand. Beer as it turns out helped you with the nausea.

Strange just quirked his eyebrows at you in amusement before diverting his attention back to Thor. “So I keep a list of individuals and beings from other realms that may be a threat to this world. Your adopted brother Loki is one of these beings.”

“He’s a worthy inclusion.” Thor commented.

“So why bring him here?” Strange asked.

You had gulped your beer down and you decided to answer his question, “We’re looking for Odin.”

The now empty glass of beer in your hand refilled itself and you gave it an impressed and slightly fascinated look, “Though if I had known you have unlimited alcohol here I would have come sooner.”

Strange gave you small cocky smile as he decided to ignore your last comment, “So if I were to tell you where Odin was, all parties concerned would promptly return to Asgard.”

“Promptly.” Thor replied.

“Great,” Strange said leaning back into his chair, “Then I’ll help you.”

“If you knew where Odin was, why didn’t you call me?” Thor asked.

“I have to tell you he was adamant that he not be disturbed. Your father said he had chosen to remain in exile.” Your mouth hung open at Strange’s words.

 _Adamant that he not be disturbed? Chosen to stay in exile?_ So not only was all of Asgard abandoned by Thor- the supposed Prince of Asgard but also by Odin? That fucker- he ran away from the throne the minute he was given an opportunity!

To think Loki was the only one in the family who actually _wanted_ to be the king of Asgard and yet he had to resort to trickery and lies to get it. Not to mention, then _you_ had to listen to all that shit Thor just said to you an hour or so ago for helping Loki do the same.

Your were pulled out of your thoughts however-

“And you don’t have a phone.” Strange added.

“No I don’t have a phone,” Thor answered, “But you could’ve sent an electronic letter- it’s called an _e-mail_?”

“Yeah do you have a computer?” Strange asked with narrowed eyes and by the tone of his voice you gathered that a computer might be something you needed to send this electronic mail or whatever Thor was on about.

“No, what for?” Thor apparently did not know how to read someone’s tone.

Strange just took a deep breath as he nodded along deciding he would just rather not correct Thor presumably a little exasperated.

“Anyway,” Thor started, diverting the conversation back to Odin, “My father is no longer in exile. So if you could tell us where he is, we can take him home.”

“Gladly.” Strange replied, “He’s in Norway.” Before he turned to give you a look, “Brace yourself, will you Commander?”

You could barely give him a confused look in return before you were once again teleported somewhere – the glass of beer still in your hand.

The three of you were standing in front of a bookshelf and Strange was looking at a book. “I’m just seeing whether this incantation requires any Asgardian modifications.” He told the two of you as he flipped through the pages. 

“Nope!” Strange said as he shut his book up.

Another whoosh of magical air- Thor had to lean against the same bookshelf that seems to have been brought along with the three of you- to maintain his balance and it was all you could do to not tumble down yourself.

“Oh we don’t need at that.”

Strange had something in his hands but of course before you could bring your composure back to give it a better look you were once again teleported.

“Goddamnit Strange!” You exclaimed your stomach churning worse than before.

One of shelves of a bookshelf broke because of the sudden weight of Thor’s arm on it as all the books fell down. Thor placed his glass of beer down at the table before making his way to you and Strange- some of the beer seemed to have spilled on him.

“Will you stop doing that?”

Strange turned around from his books and looked quite hesitant. “Can I-” He started, “I need a- just one strand of your hair.” He said his words directed at Thor.

“Let me explain something to you,” Thor said assertively as he came to stand beside you. “My hair is not to be meddl-.”

You rolled your eyes at him and brought your hand up to his head and plucked a single strand off of it. “Oh for fuck’s sake Thor, it’s just a strand of your hair. Stop being so dramatic.”

Strange gave you an appreciative smirk as you handed it to him, “Here you go.”

He moved his hands around or something and the hair turned into that same golden-orange spark-y color. Your stomach churned up worse than before and you gulped down your beer- surely alcohol will help you with the nausea from all the teleporting.

You were without a warning once again teleported and for the record the beer did not help. Thor fell down the stairs while you had just fallen down on the floor beside a round brass pot.

“Oh my god I’m going to throw up.” And you did- into that same pot. Did that bragging asshole teleport you near that pot explicitly because he knew you would throw up? Well you couldn’t very well challenge him to a fight but if you weren’t throwing up right now you would’ve.

“Are you alri- is she alright?” You heard Thor’s concerned voice.

You just waved him off, “Ignore me.”

“We could’ve just walked.” You said as soon as you were done and back to standing beside Thor.

Strange had opened up a portal- the same sparks around it, which lead into a meadow or _Norway_ as you recalled him saying.

“He’s waiting for you.” He said.

“Alright.” Thor replied with a nod.

“And don’t forget your umbrella.” Strange reminded and Thor held his hand out.

You heard a lot of crash and bangs as Mjolnir made its way back to Thor and a moment of silence, save for all of Strange’s stuff being messed up by Thor’s hammer, followed.

“Sorry,” Thor apologized rather awkwardly and a few seconds later the umbrella was back in his hands. He brushed some pieces of glass shards off of it.

“I can’t just summon my sword back.” You added.

“It’s a good thing you can’t I suppose.” Strange replied and with a sway of his hand your sword was back inside your sleeve- all folded up and tucked into the holster you wore on your arm.

“And of course if you could return Loki back as well please.” You asked and what do you know being around Thor and Strange had made you a little passive aggressive as well.

“Oh yeah right.” Strange responded as if he had forgotten about him before he raised his hands up and did some you don’t know- swirl-y magic hand motions things with them.

A portal opened up a good 20 to 25 feet above the ground and Loki fell out of it screaming.

“I have been falling,” He yelled out clearly angry, “for _thirty_ minutes.”

You wouldn’t laugh at Loki he was your friend and he was clearly distressed. You wouldn’t laugh at Loki he was your friend and he was clearly distressed. You wouldn’t laugh at-

A small laugh left your lips before you hurriedly slapped a hand on your mouth- you couldn’t have helped it even if you tried harder.

“You can handle him from here.” Strange spoke as he shook your hand and then offered it to Thor.

“Yes, thank you very much for your help.”

“Sorry for that brass pot.” You added not quite sorry enough but trying to sound it.

“Handle me?” Loki who had now gotten up at his feet asked. “Who are you?” He held his hands out- a dagger appearing in each.

“Loki,” Thor said trying to get him stay down for sure.

You just watched in amusement.

“You think you’re some kind of sorcerer? Don’t think for one minute, you second rate-”

“Alright, buh-bye!” Strange said and sent the portal towards the three of you as you were transported in that meadow within a second.

Loki of course fell down on the ground.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay first of all I do see the irony in saying I liked posting daily and then fucking off for two whole weeks. I apologize if anyone was bothered by the lack of regular chapter updates. I now realize daily updates are a bit above my pay grade and I’ll be changing it to weekly. In the hopes of compensation for the lack of content in the last two weeks here are two chapters. Hope y’all like it!

“Get off the ground, you dramatic bitch,” You said with a laugh as you extended your hand towards Loki to help him get up. He took your hand with a roll of his eyes and got back on his feet.

Loki however didn’t reply to your little quip and it was just a tad bit concerning. He seemed to be looking at something and you followed his gaze- Odin. Thor had already noticed him and was making his way towards him. You turned your head back to Loki expecting him to go as well but he seemed hesitant.

“That guy teleported Thor and I a bunch back there,” You told Loki and he turned his attention back to you at your words.

“You hate being teleported.” He stated confusedly.

He of course knew that. He had tried to teleport the two of you a few times before and even though his magic was different than Strange’s- you still always threw up.

“Yeah I got sick just a few minutes before he brought you back- you barely missed it.” You said with a smile. “I thought that piece of information might cheer you up a little.”

He still seemed distracted by the sight of Odin but didn’t make any motion to go to him. There was too much bad blood between them you guessed.

You let out a weary sigh- you hated getting in between people’s problems with their families but Loki was an exception you assumed, “You should go talk to him.”

Loki looked at you questioningly, “You think so?”

“Well you have to at some point.”

He gave you nod before moving past you but you grabbed his hand, “Oh and one more thing,” You said before continuing with a playful grin, “I’m sorry for calling you a dramatic bitch just before you’re going to confront your shitty adoptive dad.”

You received an exasperated look, “Seriously (Y/N) do you really wanna be a little shit right now?”

You shrugged your shoulders at him like the annoying _little shit_ you were, “Seemed like kind of a jerk move to not apologize for it.”

He just flipped you off before making his way towards Odin.

And with that you were just left hanging there awkwardly alone- within a few feet of three people that you knew; in an otherwise empty and _very_ scenic meadow. What the fuck had your life come to? You moved a little farther away from the three of them so that you could hear absolutely nothing of what was going on and turned your back to them.

This seemed like a private moment- something you wouldn’t want to intrude on. It was a family moment. You had no idea what those were of course- how could you? You never even had a family. Not even an adoptive one. You didn’t remember anything of when you were a kid and presumably was with your parents. And Helga, your caretaker left you when you were a barely of age. 

Ever since then you had never gotten close enough to anyone before to even call them your friend let alone family. Except Loki of course- you knew he was your friend. You shook your thoughts away- you weren’t going to stand here and wallow in self-pity right now.

You waited for just a handful of moments before your curiosity got the better of you and you turned around to see if Odin and the two brothers were still talking.

Couldn’t they just wait to get back to Asgard to do this? You thought perhaps a little impatiently only to see Thor and Loki- _only_ Thor and Loki were standing by the edge of the cliff as a swirl of golden dust flew off into the air from where Odin was standing.

You looked onto the sight in front of you, much perplexed- was, was Odin dead?

It was almost like the minute that thought entered your brain-a wall was lifted off your conscience.

_Gertrude._

The sky around you turned grey, the soft breeze from before turning into a wind and you could hear the rumble of a thunder clap. You could tell even from the distance as Thor turned to look at Loki that he was breathing heavily and shaking with anger. If you didn’t know any better you would almost think he was going to charge at his brother. _And you didn’t know any better._

But even then all you could do was stare at the two of them as you were almost glued to your spot. _Gertrude-_ that was your mother’s name. You remembered her name, you remembered everything. Even though you were just barely a kid when she had died you still _remembered_.

And you didn’t have to be genius to put two and two together and realize why you forgot it in the first place. It was Odin- he had put a spell on you on all of Asgard probably. That’s why no one remembered what happened to the Valkyries that’s why your mother was reduced to a myth in the memories of all of Asgard and the Nine Realms.

_All because that fucker wanted to-_

Before you could finish your train of thought however a sudden crack behind you caught your attention. It seemed to be a portal of darkness from within of which a wicked green light was coming. The color in itself wasn’t wicked the feeling you got from seeing it however was.

That got you out of your trance and you instantly rushed towards the brothers- they can put aside whatever family drama they were having right now and deal with whatever or whoever was inside that portal. You had a feeling it was a whoever.

The brothers were walking a little closer to the portal as well when Thor slammed down the umbrella onto the ground and a jolt of lighting came to him and transformed him into his Asgardian armor. At the same time a mist of green ran over Loki and yourself as well.

Loki had swapped out your midgardian clothing for your Asgardian armor as well as his own with his magic. Your sword was now in your hand and your second one was inside of the scabbard on your hip- even the handcuff that had your shield was back on your left wrist. And what do you know, you thought as your hand almost subconsciously went to your back, he had even added the dagger you kept there.

“Did I get everything right?” Loki asked you as you approached him though his eyes were still on the portal.

You shook your leg a little in inspection before replying, “Left out the blade I keep in the boots; don’t worry though you’ll get it next time.”

You were standing beside Loki when a chaotic looking woman walked out of the bubbling green portal. She emanated of the same existential chaos you had spoken about earlier. Her long hair was disheveled, her eyes had black smudged around them and her black outfit was ripped at places.

She walked out of the portal ever so gracefully and her piercing eyes were focused on the three of you. You couldn’t help the chill that went up your spine at the sight of her. Your hold on your sword tightened.

The portal warped in on itself as she spoke, “So he’s gone?” She had a very smooth voice and much like everything else about her; that too was terrifying.

Was she talking about Odin? You thought to yourself.

“That’s a shame; I would’ve liked to have seen that.” She added in a bratty tone.

“You must be Hela,” Thor spoke up, not too rigid but not too soft either. “I’m Thor son of Odin.”

“Really?” The woman- Hela apparently, asked as if surprised. “You don’t look like him.”

“Perhaps we can come to an arrangement.” Loki said from beside you.

“You sound like him.” She said before her attention turned to you, “What about you?”

“In the wrong place at the wrong time it seems.” You answered simply, feeling a little on guard.

Hela just quirked her eyebrows at you almost appreciatively. Gods, as much as you hated to admit it that woman scared you a little.

“Kneel.” She spoke- commanded more like.

“I beg your pardon.” Loki asked incredulously almost as if he was offended. Knowing him he probably was.

The woman in front of you simply, almost lazily held one of her arms out and a big dangerous looking sword- if you could call it that- materialized into her hand. “Kneel,” She repeated more pointedly this time, “Before your queen.”

“I don’t think so.” Thor responded taking a step further and he threw Mjolnir at her with all his might.

You inhaled sharply as the woman caught the hammer in the palm of her hand. The shock evident in your face and you didn’t even try to hide it. The Hammer was trembling against her hand which meant she wasn’t holding onto it but rather simply just blocking it.

How in the ever loving _fuck_ was that possible?

Your head almost instinctively turned to Loki- he seemed just as taken aback as you. He must have felt your gaze on him because he turned to look at you as well and the two of you shared a small doubtful look.

“It’s not possible.” Thor spoke his voice breaking a little. His hand was trembling just like his hammer was.

“Darling,” Hela started with her- you have to admit, much earned arrogance, “You have no _idea_ what’s possible.”

Her face didn’t show even the tiniest hint of any exertion as she tightened her grip on Mjolnir and in front of your very eyes she crushed the hammer made from the heart of a dying star, with her bare hand. Singular.

A surge of energy- of lightning exploded from the Mjolnir as she crushed it into pieced and you were so taken aback by how quickly everything had escalated you didn’t even bring your shield out to protect you from the blast. Your sword fell out of your hands as well and clanked against the ground.

Loki however grabbed onto your waist and pulled your back against him and a defensive wall of his magic enveloped the two of you against the hot white lightning.

You could feel his slightly erratic heartbeat against your back and the heavy breathe he let out against your neck. His hold on you was protective and even a little possessive.

He kept his arm around you even after the blast had passed though the magical wall was gone.

You could only watch as the pieces of Mjolnir fell down on the ground. Hela ran her hands along her head and a very sharp and thorn-y helmet appeared on her head in place of her hair. She held both her hands out a blade materializing in each of them. You let out a shaky breath.

A woman that can destroy Mjolnir, had the most terrifying helmet _and_ could materialize blades out of thin air? Wonder why she was named after Hel.

She started walking- strutting really- towards the three of you and before any of you could do anything Loki yelled up into the sky, “Bring us back!”

“No!” Thor shouted out and charged towards Hela. Weaponless, you realized.

It was a good thing BiFrost picked the three of you up just before Thor could get out of its range. The rainbow showered down at you and you were at once sucked up into it. Loki must have lost his grasp on you because you were zooming up into the BiFrost on your own just a little above Loki.

“Loki!” Thor’s warning caught your attention as you looked down to check on him and saw Hela flying up in BiFrost as well.

Loki threw a blade at her but she caught it easily and threw it back at him.

You shouted out his name trying to reach him as the blade hit him and he was just about to fall completely out of the BiFrost when your hand somehow managed wrap around his wrist. His own hand took hold of your wrist as well but your gravity wasn’t enough to pull Loki back into the bridge. He was crashing against it and you could tell he could barely hold on any longer.

But you would damned if you let him fall off. _Alone_.

And so you let yourself go and the two of you fell down the BiFrost out into space together.

* * *

You groaned loudly as you landed on a big pile of what you assumed was garbage with Loki on top of you. He had _completely_ landed on top of you; your body must have surely helped his break the fall. The weight of him on you only crushed you against whatever it was that was pressing against your back even more.

He held his head up so he could look at you with a small wince. What the hell does _he_ have to wince about you were the one that took all the damage from your fall. His face was much closer to yours than it had _ever_ been and you imagined you had quite the flustered face because of the same.

Loki just gave you an amused look, “I have to say my dear, I rather enjoy the sight of you underneath me.”

You rolled your eyes at him and pushed at his chest, “Get off of me you idiot. You’re crushing me.”

Loki complied with a laugh. Rolling off of you he stood up on his feet and gave you a hand to help you stand up. You cried out as you lifted your hand up however. Loki’s features instantly turned into concerned ones as he rushed to kneel beside you his hand moving to hold your arm- the one that seemed to be hurt.

“Are you okay what happened?” He inquired hastily.

“It’s nothing,” You said brushing him off as you got to your feet with his support. “I just- I think I broke it.”

“Oh is it just a _broken_ arm? Silly me, I thought you might’ve actually gotten hurt.” He replied sarcastically, his gentle hold on your arm still present.

“I’ve broken my arm before; it’s not a big deal.” You said retreating a little from his touch. Why was he suddenly acting so protective of you?

Loki let out an exasperated sigh and moved his other hand to take hold of your waist so he could bring you back near him, “Will you stop being so stubborn for one moment and just let me help you.”

“What are you Loki, God of Medicine?” You snorted.

“Behave.” Loki reprimanded plainly, his attention back at your broken arm.

His hand hovered above your elbow where you had broken your arm and a second later a small muted green light of his magic came out of his palm. You could feel his magic working through your skin and your breath got caught in your throat at how strangely intimate that felt. You couldn’t help but stare at Loki- his face looked very much focused, much more than you had ever seen him be.

The healing was a little bit painful but nothing you couldn’t take not to mention you were maybe a little bit too distracted by Loki’s face to pay much attention to the slight pain. You realized you had never actually looked at his face before- well of course what you meant was, you _had_ looked at his face but never paid much attention to it maybe?

“All better?” He asked once he was done before he looked up at you. Unfortunately you couldn’t peel your eyes away from him fast enough and he noticed you staring at him. He held you gaze and you weren’t a 100% sure on what to do. He didn’t have a smug grin on his face or an amused smile- he wasn’t going to make fun of you for staring at him. Well shit then, _what were_ you supposed to do now?

Luckily (poor choice of words in retrospect) the moment was broken by the clanking sound of metal. Both you and Loki instinctively turned to your right- from where the sound had come, your hand instantly unsheathing the sword at your hip.

A big round ship was on the ground, its doors opened and a couple of masked small figures with big gun like weapons were coming out of it. You and Loki shared a look- a normal one not that weird one from before, and the both of you slid down the huge heap of garbage. How did all this garbage even get here?

“Are you fighter or food?” One of them took his mask off and asked you. 

“I’m ten seconds away from impaling you on my fucking sword.” You replied rather aggressively and Loki’s hand came up to your arm again- seriously what was it with all the touching!

“How about we turn it down a notch with the threats?” Loki suggested in a low voice.

“They asked us if we were food!” You answered back to him matching his hushed volume.

Loki just gave you an exasperated look, “Let me handle this okay?”

You didn’t even have a chance to agree before he had moved a couple of steps ahead of you, “I am Loki God of Mischief and I think it would in the best of your interests if you take me and my-”

“Food it is!” One of them announced and fired at Loki with his gun. The impact from the shot sent him flying back a little.

“That’s it!” You shouted out at once, “You fuckers ready to get impaled?”

You went straight for the one closest to you who just _happened_ to be the one who fired at Loki as you activated your shield holding it up in front of you to withhold your opponent’s fire at you. You used your shield to knock the gun out of his hand before running your sword through his shoulder.

He went down with a cry of pain and you turned around- fuck there were a lot of them you did not think this through.

You fought a few of them off and managed to only get cut twice. You must’ve made your way through like eight of them but the swarm of them kept coming on.

Then suddenly a blast of green mist sent the lot surrounding you flying off a good 10 feet away from you. You turned to find Loki standing a little farther from you- he must have teleported there. He had his hands folded and gave you a chastising look.

“I told you to let me handle it.”

“Oh I thought that went out of the window the minute that guy blasted you off.” You replied.

Loki was just about to say something when his eyes widened, “(Y/N) look out!” He warned as he sprinted towards you.

Your eye darted around trying to find whatever danger was near you when suddenly something fell down on top of you. You were smashed to the ground the wind knocked out of you and the arm Loki had just fixed moments ago almost broke again. Your sight started getting blurry and the last you remember before completely blacking out was Loki rushing to you.

Apparently all that garbage fucking rained down from the sky.


	16. Chapter 16

You stirred in your sleep, on the cusp of waking up. You would have rather just stayed asleep what with how sore your body was but your brain was a flurry of activities. With everything that had happened that day you expected it to be so as well. You groaned a little as you turned on your bed- your body wanting nothing more than to just stay in the warmth of the covers but your brain was not having it, it would seem.

You gingerly opened your eyes, a hand coming up to rub the slumber off of them and you sat up on the bed. Panic instantly flooded your body as soon as you took in your surroundings. You had no idea where you were- this was definitely not Asgard what with all that geometric blue and white wallpaper. Oh that’s right; you remembered you were on the garbage planet.

There were two beds in the room you noticed- one of them you yourself were sitting on right on and you instantly calmed down as soon as you saw the other one. You could see Loki was sat on the other bed-his back to you.

“Hey,” you spoke, your voice a little low and weak either due to the soreness or the sleep.

Loki turned his head around just a little in acknowledgement, “You’re finally up I see.”

You could tell there was something wrong as soon as you heard his voice. He sounded nothing like his usual confident and sometimes unbearably annoying self. In fact quite the opposite. He sounded vulnerable and timid. You at once got up from your bed and made your way to his.

Taking a seat beside him on the other bed you asked, “Are you alright, Loki?”

“You’re the one who just had a 700 pound piece of junk metal dropped on her from the sky.” He spoke plainly, “Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that?”

You ignored his words knowing something was bothering him, “Loki I’m serious. What’s wrong?”

“You should go back and rest, (Y/N) it’s been a tiring day-”

“Loki,” You said pointedly though tried to keep your tone in check and gentle. “What’s wrong?”

He turned to look at you and you were reminded of that moment from before, after he had healed your elbow. You weren’t used to genuine looks- ones that weren’t playful or annoyed, ones that were serious- that were vulnerable and looking for comfort.

“It’s Odin.” He finally answered with tears in the corners of his eyes.

You hadn’t even thought about that! Some friend you were. You had been too caught up in your own joy at his death however gruesome that thought may seem. Odin’s death had brought nothing but relief and delight for you- it brought your damned memories back for gods’ sake. You could however only imagine what it brought for Loki.

“Are you sad at about it then?” You asked almost hesitantly. Gods you had no idea how to help someone when they were grieving. But it was Loki so you had to try.

“I don’t think so.” He responded his eyes moving away from yours again, “I’m……..I don’t know conflicted?”

He _sounded_ conflicted. Like he was confused and unsure and frustrated.

“It’s so stupid,” He said and if you didn’t know any better you would almost think he was angry at himself. “I shouldn’t be anything but relieved about him dying- I hated him, loathed him. After everything he did to me-” His voice broke as a few tears fell down his face and your heart broke at the sight in front of you.

“Loki it’s okay,” You tried wanting more than anything to just _make_ it okay for him- but you didn’t know how, “You had a complicated relationship with your father. You’re allowed feel however you want to about it.”

“But I _don’t_ want to feel anything about it, (Y/N).” He said his voice getting more angrier and louder. You knew the anger wasn’t directed at you but you weren’t so sure anymore that it wasn’t directed at himself either.

“I don’t want to mourn his death when he never mourned mine.” The tears were running freely down his face now- he didn’t even bother wiping them. “He let me fall to my death from the Bifrost all those years ago,”

Desperation, contempt, confusion- Odin’s death had truly left Loki conflicted and torn.

“Why should I feel anything but joy at the death of someone who hated me so much?”

You instantly pulled him into a hug, “Oh sweetheart I’m so sorry,” He seemed a bit taken aback by it but he didn’t fight it and his hands almost instinctively wrapped around you as he buried his head in the crook of your neck and you heard him sob. “It’s alright- it’s going to be fine, I swear.”

Your heart broke at every sob but all you could do was say sweet reassuring words to try and soothe him down. Your hand was softly stroking his hair- just because that’s what people seemed to do when they were comforting someone. You didn’t mind the fact that he was holding on to you a little too tightly or the fact that he was crying into your shoulder dampening your shirt.

You just wanted him to be _okay._

“I’m so sorry that asshole did this to you.” You spoke up after his sobbing had stopped a little, “I wish I could take your pain away I truly do.”

“You’re too kind to me.” Loki replied almost in a whisper, “Why are you so kind to me?” His head remained on your shoulder and you were still holding him- you didn’t mind it though.

“I’m not exactly known for being kind to people without a reason so you must deserve it then.” You answered simply and added just as he was about to say something, “And you’re not allowed to disagree.”

Loki nestled his face more comfortably on your shoulder and you felt him smile a little and a small smile made its way to your own face as well. However you could also feel fresh tears falling onto your onto your shoulders. He wasn’t sobbing anymore but he wasn’t okay yet either.

“Is there anything I could do to make you feel better?” You asked a little restlessly, “You know what I do when I feel bad?” You had a habit of blabbering whenever things got much too serious than what you were used to- you hated the habit but you couldn’t change it.

“What do you do when you feel bad?” Loki prompted.

“I punch stuff.” You stated before an idea popped into your head, “You know what you should do, you should punch me!” You said as if it was the most obvious solution in the world.

Loki let out an actual laugh against your neck before bringing his head up to look at you- breaking out of the hug. You almost missed his warmth, well not his warmth exactly-he was always so damned cold but then again so were you so his cold was almost comforting.

“Why would punching _you_ make me feel better?” He had tear stains down his cheeks and his eyes were still glossy but he was looking at you almost as if amused.

“I’m telling you, punching stuff always makes me feel better.”

“Believe me punching you would not make me feel any better.” Loki replied with a shake of his head. “I’m not crying because of you.”

“Then turn me into Odin with your magic!” You suggested and this was the first time in your very long life that you had actually really wanted someone to punch you. It was nothing if it would make Loki feel better, you argued.

“(Y/N) I’m _not_ punching you.” Loki said with an exasperated sigh.

“What?” You said defensively, “You think I can’t take it?”

“I would never think that my dear,” He said with a laugh, and the sound of his laughter had never been more comforting and uplifting to you. “In fact it’s me I’m worried about. I could _never_ survive hurting you.”

“You stabbed me once.” You reminded him.

“It was an illusion.”

“Still hurt like a bitch.”

The two of you shared a laugh and you almost patted yourself on the back. Him laughing was better than him crying right?

“How about you?” Loki asked you after a while. “Are you alright?”

“Just a little sore- nothing I can’t handle.” You said brushing his concern off.

“Seriously? I just cried my eyes out to you and you’re still going to act all tough in front of me?”

You bit back a smile at his words, “Fine. I guess I’m a little concerned about Hela. She scares me.” You admitted.

Loki gave you an understanding smile as his hand moved to sit atop yours presumably in an effort to provide some comfort.

“I also have something I need to tell you.” You added after a fair bit of contemplation. Should you tell him right now? About Odin and your memories and everything. Was he still much too sad to hear you talk about how glad you were that Odin had died because now you remembered your mother?

“What is it?” he asked curiously.

You wanted to tell him.

“(Y/N) Gertrudesdottir,” you said, “That’s my full name.” You couldn’t help but smile at the sound of your name. In Asgard Orphaned kids didn’t have a last name- not unless they were adopted by someone. And because you never were, you were always simply just (Y/N) for your whole life. Until now of course. Now you had a last name.

Loki looked a bit confused, “I thought you didn’t remember your parents’ name?”

“I didn’t.” You explained. “But I didn’t just forget it out of nowhere. I was just a kid when my mother died but I was old enough that I should’ve remembered their names at least.”

“What made you forget then?”

You hesitated, “It was Odin. He must’ve had a memory charm put on me and I’m assuming all of Asgard and the Nine Realms as well. It’s why no one remembered the Valkyries.”

“Do you remember what happened to them?”

You shook your head, “I don’t remember much, like I said I was just a kid- I don’t even know my father’s name. Just faint memories of my mother.” You said before continuing almost giddily, “But I remember her. I had nothing to remember her by no proof of her existence other than that Dragonfang and even that I gave away. But I _remember_ her now. I remember her taking care of me and I remember the little house we had. It’s not much but it’s _her._ ”

Loki had a grin on his face, “I’ve never seen you this happy before.” He commented.

“I’ve never been this happy before.” You replied.

“Well I guess that gives me another reason to be happy about Odin’s death then.” His playful tone was back and it almost made you happier than having back the memories you had no idea were taken from you in the first place. _Almost._

“I’m happy to be of help.” You said matching his tone and added, “Are you sure you don’t want to take me up on that punching offer. It’s not every day you get an opportunity like that.”

“I’m not punching you.” He said rolling his eyes at you.

“But-” you protested and he cut you off as he pulled you back towards him, his arms wrapping themselves around you again.

“Just let me hold you, okay? That’s making me feel much better than hurting you would- even if you’re disguised as Odin.” He spoke and you hesitantly placed your hands back around him. Was it just you or has the physical contact increased between the two of you suddenly in the last day.

“I thought I was the one doing the holding?” You retorted.

“Fine then, just let me be held by you.”

One of your hands found its way back to his hair as you stroked it absentmindedly. His hair was very soft- you had never noticed that before. Probably because you had barely ever touched his hair before. Yup, the physical contact between the two of you had increased alright.

The two of you just sat there like that for a while. You would have thought just sitting around, hugging someone without saying anything would be weird- but it wasn’t. Or maybe it was just so because it was Loki.

You spoke a little hesitantly after awhile, “Is this a good time to ask where the fuck are we?”


	17. Chapter 17

You were pacing the room restlessly. It had been almost a week (5 days to be exact yes you were counting) since you first landed on this stupid garbage planet and you had been stuck here since. You couldn’t get out of here because technically you were property of some dickhead called Grandmaster. You had yet to meet the man yourself but regardless you had nothing but despise for him- what kind of a freak likes to own people so that he could make them fight each other to the death for entertainment?

You would have gotten the same treatment had it not been for Loki. He had managed to ‘gain this Grandmaster’s favor’ in exchange for his and your safety. You couldn’t help but feel a little pathetic right now. Loki was out here making sure the two of you remained alive and what were you doing?

Asgard was in peril- your people were in danger and there was absolutely nothing you were doing about it. Even if you were to somehow get out of this planet you could never even hope to stop Hela on your own.

Loki had told you all about her of course. About how she was Odin’s firstborn and the Goddess of Death- the bringer of Ragnarok. It was all you could think about. Your people in distress and your home in destruction.

You were pulled out of your thoughts however once you heard Loki entering your shared room.

“Are you going to keep pacing the room the whole time we’re here?” Loki asked.

“Are you going to keep fucking the Grandmaster the whole time _you’re_ here?” You retorted but of course instantly felt bad about it. You had been a little antsy in the last couple of days and you often took it out by being mean to Loki. You knew it wasn’t a good thing to do after all he was doing everything in his power to make sure you were okay and unharmed but you just couldn’t help it.

“Is that jealousy I hear, my dear?” Loki asked seemingly unbothered by your comment, “You know I can always just skip his chambers tonight and come by _ours_.”

“Behave.” You replied before continuing, “And also I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said that- it was very rude of me. I’m just so-”

“Frustrated I know.” Loki said finishing your sentence for you.

“I know I shouldn’t take it out on you.” You added sheepishly.

“Oh please,” He said waving you off. “I’d rather you insult me then punch that wall over there again.” He nodded towards the spot on the wall just above your bed’s headrest where you had punched a small hole. That happened the first night you were here.

Okay so maybe you’ve been antsy _ever_ since you’ve been here.

You gave Loki a small smile, “Aw does Loki, God of Trickery and Mischief cares about little old me?” You teased, “I’m flattered.”

“Maybe you can repay that care by coming with me to tonight’s party?” Loki asked mirroring your tone.

You scoffed at him in answer, “Yeah right.”

Loki gave you serious look now moving to stand closer to you his hand instantly going up to your arm as he held it gently seemingly for no other reason than to just hold it. You glanced down at his hand in confusion before your attention was driven back to his face at his voice, “I’m serious (Y/N) you’ve been cooped up in this room ever since we got here.”

“That’s been because I’ve been trying to come up with a plan to get out of this place.” You replied, “Or haven’t you noticed we’re not in Asgard where your sister is most likely wreaking havoc as we speak!”

“She’s not my sister.” Loki reminded defensively.

“Of for fuck’s sake she’s Thor’s sister you’re his brother-”

“Adopted.”

“Get over it!” You cringed as soon as you said it.

Loki gave you an incredulous look, “Did you just ask me to _get over it_?”

“Poor choice of words-” You said. They were a very poor choice of words not only because it was a bitchy thing to say but also because Loki would now undoubtedly use it against you.

“Poor choice of words indeed.” He replied, “I’m devastated- in fact I’m heartbroken.” He said a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “How dare you say that to me after knowing everything about the absolutely miserable childhood I had?”

“I had an absolutely miserable childhood too.” You said plainly.

“And I would _never_ tell you to get over it.” He didn’t even try to hide the smile.

“Oh come on at least try and pretend you’re offended!” You complained.

“I _am_ offended.” He replied at once.

“Then why are you smiling like an idiot?”

“That’s my offended face.” He shrugged, “So you’re coming to the party with me then? To apologize for your outrageously distasteful comment regarding my issues with my very dysfunctional family?”

* * *

The people of Sakaar it turns out had a much different concept of a party than the regular Asgardian. You realized the same the minute you walked into the said party with Loki beside you. Everything was much too dark and the only illumination was some neon lights here and there. The music was too loud and sounded weird like insect noises- although Loki told you it was ‘techno’? Whatever the fuck that’s supposed to mean. And everyone was dressed in what you had come to acknowledge as the Sakaarian fashion.

Even Loki wasn’t wearing his classic green and black, he was wearing a navy blue! Outrageous.

Regardless of all that however you still somehow managed to have fun. Don’t be mistaken you still felt undeniably guilty about the fact that you were here enjoying yourself while your people were most likely in turmoil-but you didn’t let it show. Loki was only trying to do something good for you- trying to take your mind off of your (very much valid) worries, the most you could do here was pretend that his efforts had worked.

And it wasn’t _technically_ all a pretence either! You were enjoying yourself- definitely much more than you have in days. Not because of all the neon lights and the loud ‘songs’ (if you could call the noises that) but rather despite of them. The reason you were having fun of course was because of Loki.

You hadn’t realized how much you missed him until tonight. The two of you had barely been spending much time together seeing as he was usually always busy either snooping around trying to find a way to get the two of you out of this planet or was spending his time with the Grandmaster.

And well okay you’d admit it you were a little jealous. Just the tiniest bit.

It was an embarrassing thing to admit and you’d never say it out loud let alone in front of Loki but it was the truth. It wasn’t as if you wanted Loki to be interested in you like he was in the Grandmaster of course (also what kind of a stupid name was Grandmaster anyway) it was just that you missed his company.

And so even if the constant thoughts of what was happening back in Asgard was troubling your mind gravely you were determined not to let it ruin your time with Loki.

He was currently gone to get the two of you something to drink and you were standing against a table waiting for him to return. That was another weird thing about this party- the tables didn’t have any chairs? There were just tall round tables littered across the room against which you guessed people were just supposed to lean and keep their food on. The concept of course was stupid to you.

There were also many couches to sit on here and there but none of them had a table to go along with them. What did the Grandmaster have against sitting and eating at the same time? 

Your thoughts were however soon interrupted by Loki when he returned to your table with two drinks in his hands. “Took you long enough.” You commented.

“Is staying away from me that difficult for you?” He shot back with a smirk.

You just rolled your eyes at him but decided to play along, “Oh you have no idea sweetheart, it’s absolute torture- your absence.”

Loki seemed a bit taken aback by your response seeing as you rarely, if ever humored his flirtatious teasing and a smug smile made its way onto your face at his slightly confused expression.

He regained his composure soon enough however and replied, “Well my dear (Y/N) I must apologize then for causing you such an inconvenience.”

“I’m afraid an apology won’t cut it my love.” You countered.

“I was hardly gone for a minute or two.” He said the endearment seemed to have caught him off guard. He had a skeptic look on his face almost as if he was trying to figure out what was it that you were up to.

Now don’t be mistaken you enjoyed calling him names and all that very much, but teasing him like so was proving to be just a little more fun. “What can I say? Even a minute away from you feels like an eternity to my lovesick heart.” You said innocently and tried to keep yourself from bursting into laughter at the silliness of your words.

Loki’s face grew just a little more confused and you bit back a smile, bringing the drink up to your lips to take a small sip.

However you cringed the minute the liquid hit your tongue, “Oh wow I do not like this.” You exclaimed putting the drink back down, “Seriously Loki I would have thought you know me well enough to know I wouldn’t have liked this!” Your tone had changed from your previous flirtatious one back to your normal one of annoyance.

“I thought we were having a moment.” Loki commented plainly.

“Yeah well moment’s over,” You replied distractedly as you were a bit pre-occupied with inspecting the drink in front of you, “This is positively repulsive- what the fuck even is this?”

Before Loki could reply a man, dressed in gold, red and blue robes appeared at your table. You turned to give him a questioning look.

Loki although it seemed had recognized the man, “Grandmaster! It’s lovely seeing you.”

Grandmaster? As in _The grandmaster?_

“Oh yes I just came over because I saw that your friend had finally decided to get out of your room. Thought I’d come up and say hi.” The Grandmaster said with a laugh as he diverted his attention to you, “Hi.”

You were more or less staring at the man now, to say you were not expecting him to look like so was an understatement. You had expected a cruel looking; bloodthirsty man and so now looking at this eclectic at best, white haired man you couldn’t help but be a little surprised.

“Hi,” you managed to get out.

“I don’t think we’ve been formally introduced yet, I am Grandmaster of course.” He said extending his hand to you.

“Yeah I’m (Y/N).” You replied shaking his hand and pulling yourself out of your taken aback state.

“I’ve heard so much about you.” He added.

“Likewise,” You responded with a smile. (A fake one obviously.)

“All good things I hope,” He joked and you hesitantly laughed along. You had heard a lot about him but none of it was good.

“So yeah I have to get back to,” He said pointing to the crowd behind him and trailed off as if he was trying to find the suitable word for whatever it was he had to get back to.

“Uh- um to this thing,” he continued, “I just wanted to ask what’s the deal with you two?” He said gesturing between you and Loki.

You gave him a confused look and absentmindedly took another sip of your drink.

“What do you mean?” Loki asked and you remembered you hated the taste of the drink you had just taken a sip from.

“Well you know are you together- romantically speaking?”

You choked on that horrible drink, more so because of the Grandmaster’s words than the taste of it. Bringing a hand up to your mouth to wipe at whatever had dribbled out of your mouth you gulped down the alcohol with a cough.

“Are you alright my dear?” Loki asked one of his hands was patting your back gently.

“Yeah, yeah I’m sorry no it’s just-” You replied before turning to address the Grandmaster, “No we’re not- we’re just friends. That’s no- no we’re not together. That’s an absurd idea. Please, I’d kill myself before I fall in love with him- he’s all yours.” You rambled on with a laugh but halfway through you realized you were the only one who was laughing.

Loki was just looking at you with an offended and unbelieving look and the Grandmaster was glancing between the two of you with an awkward but amused smile.

“Okay I guess that answers my question.” He said and tapped the table before nodding at you, “I’ll take my leave then, because I’d rather not get caught in the very awkward conversation that is surely about to follow. Goodbye!”

And with that he was gone.

You turned back towards Loki and gave him a hesitant laugh, “Can you believe that guy?” Your voice was a little too high pitched than what you were going for.

“A simple no should’ve done you know.” Loki said.

“I- uh he um it just-” You started, fumbling for your words but no coherent one left your mouth. It didn’t have to it seemed as Loki interrupted your unintelligent words.

“So the mere thought of being with me so repulsive that you’d rather kill yourself, is it?” He asked and sounded very much offended.

“It’s just- he- his question caught me off guard is all. I was just joking! You know how I can get!” You tried defending yourself.

“Well apparently you can get suicidal at even just the suggestion of having any romantic interest in me.”

“Hey come on that’s not fair- I didn’t mean what I said!” You protested. Damn that Grandmaster for putting you into this unbearably uncomfortable situation. “I think you’re a- um you’re a…….uh-” You said trying to think of the word you were looking for.

“You’re an attractive person.” You said finally but your words sounded unconfident due to the fact that you had to look for them for so long.

“Oh lucky me!” He scoffed in answer and you let out an exasperated sigh.

“Oh fuck what have I gotten myself into?” You muttered under your breath a hand coming up to your temples as you picked up the glass in front of you and took another sip from it before you gagged at the taste of it, “Why do I keep drinking this?” You exclaimed in frustration.

Loki let out another scoff at that, “I’m sure you don’t hate the drink as much as you hate me.”

“Hey come on I don’t hate you, you know that!” You said almost desperately. “He just asked that out of the blue I responded badly I admit that but I’m sorry.”

“Oh well if you’re sorry.” was his sarcastic reply.


	18. Chapter 18

You and Loki left the party soon after your interaction with the Grandmaster and the unnecessarily uncomfortable conversation that followed. You apologized to Loki for your insensitive words and while you did understand why he may be offended by them what you didn’t understand was why he would make such a big deal about it.

But you put up with it because you cared about him and felt absolutely awful about making him feel bad. That was the last thing you wanted but your ‘think-before-speak’ way of going through life had finally come to bite you in the ass it would seem.

You didn’t know why you said what you did- but the only excuse you had for it was that it had caught you off guard which apparently wasn’t a good enough excuse. Well what was done was done, you told yourself as the two of you reached your room.

You hadn’t spoken a word to each other since leaving the party and it made you feel terrible but you couldn’t do anything about it. Though you did feel a little irritated at Loki you wouldn’t deny that. Why was he making such a big deal out of this! It was a stupid thing to get mad about.

“So are you just not gonna talk to me forever now?” You asked him rather irritably as soon as you had entered your room.

“I haven’t decided yet.” He replied casually before closing the doors behind him.

“Great.” You mumbled under your breath as you undid your shoes.

When you turned around though to chuck the shoes against the wall across from your bed you found Loki had moved to stand much closer to you now. _Much closer._

He was looking at you almost as if in thought and you narrowed your eyes at him, “Okay,” You said drawling out the word and tossed your shoes away. “I guess we’re just randomly getting up in each other’s personal space now-”

Before you could finish however Loki took hold of you by your waist bringing your _even closer_ to him as one of his hands went up to your face and he leaned in. “Woah hey, what’re you doing there bud?” You laughed awkwardly moving your head back away from him you hands coming up to his shoulders.

You were positive that a violent blush must have made its way to your face now at his close proximity to you.

“Trying to kiss you?” Loki offered with an indifferent shrug and you could only let out another awkward laugh- your face starting to burn even more.

“Why would you wanna do that?”

“Oh come now my dear, don’t tell me I have to give you the talk about the birds and bees now.” He said with a teasing smile, “Why does anyone ever wants to kiss anyone?”

You groaned out in frustration at his words, “Is this still about what I said to that dickhead?”

He still had his hands on you and you had yours on him- simply because you didn’t know what else to do with them. All of this had happened so suddenly you couldn’t even wait and think about it for a moment.

Loki seemed rather hesitant before he replied, “No it’s about my feelings for you.”

Your jaw could’ve dropped at his words but you just stared at him in disbelief and you were certain you had never blushed this hard and this much in your life before. You felt your chest constrict a little and if you didn’t know any better you would think it was your heart fluttering. And well you didn’t know any better.

“What- uh, what kind,” You said before your voice cracked and you cleared your throat, “What kind of feelings?”

You wanted to look away from his eyes but for some reason you couldn’t. His intense and sincere gaze made you feel some type of way that you didn’t have a word for- it was kind of like nauseous but not in a bad way?

“Take a wild guess,” was his reply.

Well fuck.

“Do you want me to kiss you?” He asked you in a rather small voice almost as if he was anxious about the answer- which he might as well be for all you knew. You just blinked back at him perhaps for the first time in your life at a loss for words.

“I don’t know.” You croaked out in an answer.

Loki let out a small chuckle at that which made a small and uncertain smile make its way to your face as well, “You don’t know?”

“That’s what I said.” You replied.

You didn’t in fact know. It was Loki for fucks sake! The only person you had ever truly cared about outside of your self-righteousness. The only person you had ever felt like home with.

Shouldn’t this be the same as what happened with Matthew? You asked yourself. Shouldn’t you just _know_ whether or not you wanted him to kiss you? But you didn’t and it wasn’t. Loki meant much more to you than Matthew did- and well truth be told you _liked_ the idea of kissing Loki.

How could you not- he was an undeniably handsome person both from his face and his personality! But then what was holding you back?

“Do we have to do this right now?” You asked almost wearily but you had a hint of amusement in your voice.

“I’m afraid we must.” Loki replied his tone matching yours before it turned into a more serious and vulnerable one, “Do you have feelings for me?”

“I don’t know.”

“You know you can’t keep saying that for everything.” He commented exasperatedly.

“Well _I don’t know_ Loki!” You said maybe a bit too defensively, “You can’t just spring this on me out of nowhere and expect me to have an answer! It’s not that simple.”

“It’s supposed to be!” He countered. “You’re just supposed to know when you have feelings for someone (Y/N), you either do or you don’t so which is it?”

“You’re being unfair now.” You said giving him a look.

“I’m just telling you how I feel my dear,” he answered with a shrug.

“How do you feel?” You asked him almost in a challenging tone. You didn’t know your own feelings- so hearing his might be helpful, you reasoned.

Loki gave you a look as if to say he knew what you were doing and you just returned back an indifferent one. He answered your question still, “I feel happy and safe when I’m around you. I feel like something’s missing when I’m away from you. I’m amazed _by_ you and I’m protective and possessive _of_ you. The one thing I want more than anything else is for you to be mine and for me to be yours.”

You could only stare at him in surprise and you felt tongue tied. What the _fuck_ were you supposed to say to that? Loki seemed to have such a clear perception of his feelings for you while you on the other hand could hardly distinguish between the feeling of nausea and happiness at times.

“I answered your question now you answer mine,” Loki spoke after a while had passed and you still hadn’t said anything. “How do _you_ feel?”

How did you feel? You tried asking yourself.

The problem here of course was that you had never before even _thought_ about thinking about Loki like that. You had always just seen him as a friend because you never thought you’d get close enough to him to think of him as anything more.

But the unthinkable had happened and you had grown close to Loki, so what now?

And well now that you did think about it? It didn’t seem like the worst idea ever- in fact you found yourself liking the idea of being with Loki- of him being yours and being his (whatever the fuck that was supposed to mean). The idea was appealing, tempting almost. But you couldn’t shake the thing nagging in the back of your mind that was holding you back either.

“(Y/N)?” Loki’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts, “How do you feel?” He repeated his question.

You gave him an uncertain and guilt-ridden look, “I-uh I don’t-”

He interrupted you of course before you could finish, “If you say you don’t know I promise you I _will_ throw myself out of that window.” He said, a small grin tugging at the corners of his lips.

You gave him a guilty smile now, “I am uncertain.”

He rolled his eyes at you and for the first time in ever you had the feeling that he was truly annoyed with you. You deserved it.

“You know if you don’t feel the same way you can just tell me.” He said with an exasperated laugh, “I won’t let my however unrequited feelings for you ruin our friendship.” He was moving to get away from you but your hold at his shoulders tightened almost instinctively urging him to stay.

He gave you a skeptical look.

“It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?”

“That day when you faked your death all those years ago in Svartalfheim,” You started and shifted your eyes away from his- you weren’t the biggest fan of being vulnerable and so if you were going to be just that then you would at least give yourself the luxury of not having to meet his eye.

“When I watched you die that day, it- it affected me much more than anything else ever has. I’ve never had someone in my life Loki; you have to understand you’re the only one I have. I’ve never lost someone before and the thought of you not being with me one day is already heartbreaking enough for me and I’m afraid it’ll only grow if I let myself get even closer to you.”

Your voice had gotten small and the lump in the back of your throat seemed to have grown.

“I’m sorry my dear I don’t mean to offend but that is honestly the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard come out of your otherwise very intelligent mouth.”

Your jaw dropped at his words and you gave him an incredulous and incredibly offended look, “Excuse me?”

“Oh come now, you won’t mourn my loss as hard as you would if we were to just remain friends? That’s the stupidest argument I have ever heard.” He replied and the urge to smack him across the face had never been this high.

“Can you stop calling me stupid?”

“Can you stop acting like it then?”

“You’re unbelievable!” You scoffed at him. How dare he call your feelings stupid!

“I’m unbelievable?” He asked incredulously, “You’re the one who wouldn’t let me kiss you because if you did- what my death would suddenly hurt more? You care about me my dear and whether or not we’re together will not change that. You can’t run from your feelings just because you’re scared of them.”

The words he was saying were nice the way he was saying them was not. He was annoyed at you- you got that but there was no need for him to be condescending as well.

“Oh fuck off Loki!” was the only thing you could think of to say to him.

He of course replied instantly with a smartass smile, “I’m trying to.”

You tried to fight off the small smile that was threatening to break out, you really did- but you failed.

“Listen, (Y/N),” Loki started much more sincerely this time, “If you don’t want to kiss me just say the word and we don’t have to talk about this anymore.” Then of course his tone turned into a more challenging one, “But you’re still holding onto me so just do it already.”

And you did. You made a rash decision (really it couldn’t even be called a decision seeing as you don’t remember making it) and you took hold of the back of his neck and brought his lips down on yours- and you kissed him.

He didn’t seem at all taken aback by it and in fact kissed you back eagerly and almost impatiently. You realized even though you had never thought about kissing him before now, it felt like the thing you had always yearned to do. You would have cringed at your sappy thoughts had it not been for the undeniable happiness and satisfaction that came with having his lips move against yours.

His hold on your waist tightened and he pulled you flush against him. You could feel him smile into the kiss and that feeling in your chest returned.

You pulled away however after a while- your forehead resting against Loki’s and you weren’t quite ready to open your eyes just yet. The implication of what you’d just done dawned on you. You just kissed your best friend- because that’s always a good idea.

“Fuck I shouldn’t have done that.” You breathed out.

“I disagree,” Loki said and you could basically hear the grin on his face. “I think you should’ve done that ages ago.”

You moved your face away a little so you could look at him- he had an absolutely delighted look on his face, one that made a genuine smile appear on your lips. You gave him a fond look as you moved one of your hands away from his neck to tuck a piece of his hair that had fallen on his face back behind his ear.

“I just don’t want to get my heart broken Loki.” You told him with a sad smile. In the time you’ve known him he had already died twice even if they were fake deaths. He wasn’t exactly the most reliable person when it came to staying alive.

“I would never break your heart my dear.” He replied softly.

“You may not; but time will. I know it’s stupid,” You said before adding pointedly, “As you’ve already told me.” He just gave you small laugh at that, “But I don’t know how I’d be able to survive if you were to die before I do.”

You had never been this genuine and honest with a person regarding your feelings ever before and you doubted you would be to anyone who wasn’t Loki either. It was a stupid fear to have you knew that but it was the biggest one you had.

“What if I promise not to die before you do then?” He said and you couldn’t help but laugh a little at that. It was an absurd promise to make an obviously empty one.

“You know you shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep.” You commented.

“But aren’t those the best kind?”


	19. Chapter 19

You were currently standing outside on the small balcony of your room with a cup of coffee in your hands. You weren’t sleeping the best exactly ever since you’d gotten to Sakaar but yesterday after it had been a total of 16 days since your arrival you had completely given up on even trying. Constant thoughts and anxieties about your home, about your people plagued your mind. You had no way of knowing what was happening back there- what Hela must have done and with every day that passed whatever sliver of hope you were trying to hold onto kept slipping away.

You let out a grumble of disgust as you watched onto the view of Sakaar in front of you- or as you’d named it the Garbage planet. You despised it here.

The only source of joy in your life right now was Loki. It had been a few days since he had confessed his feelings for you and the two of you had started ‘courting’ but nothing changed honestly. You still called each other names and you still annoyed him but only now he could kiss you into shutting up. It was a very pleasant way to shut you up for all parties involved.

But while yes you were happy when you were with Loki, it still didn’t make your worries go away. They were always present like background sound in your mind. And honestly you weren’t complaining about it- you deserved to wallow in your misery. What kind of a Commander just sits by when their home is being destroyed?

An incompetent one, of course.

You were distracted out of your thoughts however when a pair hands wrapped around your waist from behind you. You would’ve been startled and started throwing punches had it not been for the fact that the hands around your stomach that were now pulling you backwards towards the body of the owner of those said hands were very cold. Jotun cold.

“What are you doing?” You asked plainly and placed the now empty cup onto the flat surface of the railing and rested your hands on Loki’s.

He simply answered, “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m embracing you my dear.” You didn’t need to turn around to know he was smirking at you and a smile made its way to your face as you absentmindedly lifted one of your hands up to caress his cheek.

“I meant what are you doing here? Isn’t there a gathering you’re supposed to attend right now?” You asked and turned around in his arms wrapping your own around his neck.

“So you can manipulate everyone into telling you all their secrets?” You added with a playful grin.

Loki hummed along to you in response one of his hands coming up to hold one of yours as he swayed slightly as if dancing with you. You let out a small chuckle.

“I guess I’d just rather not leave you alone.” He replied with a matching grin.

“I’m afraid you’ll have to sweetheart because there’s no way I’m coming with you.” You said with a laugh, the endearment rolling almost too easily off your tongue.

“You know the Grandmaster is expecting to see you at the Contest tomorrow night.” Loki reminded you, “Might as well come to the pre-festivities too.

Right, that. Watching a bunch of people fight each other to death was the last thing you needed right now but being the property of Grandmaster that you were you couldn’t very well tell him to get fucked and not go- which was ideally what you wanted to do.

“You’re not talking me into this Loki,” You told him simply but firmly before adding with a laugh, “And stop with the swaying already, I’m not dancing with you right now.”

“Why not?” He asked at once.

“Because I don’t dance.” You replied swiftly.

“You danced that night with Matthew?” He countered with a smirk.

There wasn’t really any other concrete reason for you to not dance with him so you decided to make one up, “There’s no music.”

He gave you an amused look before the faint sound of a violin started playing from somewhere. “How about now?”

You shook your head at him with a laugh as you maintained his gaze- you still weren’t used the copious amounts of eye contact between the two of you. It made you feel queasy, but in a good way so you didn’t run away from it. You leaned up on your toes and brought his head down to meet you halfway and you kissed him perhaps a little too teasingly- succeeding in stopping the swaying, before you pulled away from his lips with a mischievous grin.

“It’s a hard pass.” You said before pulling your hand away from his neck and the other one away from his hold.

He just rolled his eyes at you, an incredulous smile on his face, “Ever the romantic as always, I see.” He commented.

You just shrugged at him, “You knew what you were getting yourself into.” You teased before walking back into the room.

“That I did.” You heard him say from behind you and he followed you into the room closing the door to the balcony behind him. “I actually have something for you.”

You sat down on the foot of his bed and gave him a questioning look, “What is it?”

What could he possibly have for you? You had already eaten and there wasn’t anything else you could imagine he should feel the need to give you. You were sparsely in the mood to eat these days but he made sure you didn’t starve yourself to death. That was something you were extremely grateful to him for.

Your question was however soon answered when Loki took a seat beside you on the bed and conjured a small box out of thin air. It was a green colored box with a black ribbon around it because _of course_ it was. What other color could it have possibly been?

You gave Loki an amused laugh as he held the wrapped present out to you, before taking it in your hands. “You know just because we’re together now doesn’t mean you need to buy me presents.”

It wouldn’t be an overstatement to say you had no idea how to react when someone gave you a gift seeing as you had never actually gotten one before. This was the first time someone had ever given you a present and you felt something in your stomach at the fact that it was Loki but you refused to revoke the winged creature’s name.

“Just open it.” Loki said rolling his eyes at you. He watched you closely and almost excitedly as you pulled at the ribbon and opened the box. You couldn’t help the fond look that took over your features at the big smile he had on his face.

A necklace.

You realized as you turned the box over on the palm of your hand and a dainty gold necklace fell out. It had a sizeable heart shaped pendant and you realized it was the kind that opened up.

“You got me a necklace?” You asked the surprise evident in your voice.

You were surprised not only because this was the first present you had ever gotten and you had never expected it but also because- well because it was a heart shaped gold necklace.

You were by no means against jewelries or anything in fact you loved jewelry and thought it was a great way to decorate your look. However this wasn’t _just_ some decorative jewelry- it was a sentimental one. And well being a Commander you frequently found yourself fighting some battle or another- an activity one can easily lose a necklace doing. So yes the appeal for sentimental jewelry fell a little short on you.

You didn’t let it show however, of course you didn’t because you truly did like the gift and the gesture- Loki didn’t have to get you anything but he still did and that meant something to you.

“Open it.” Loki urged eagerly, clearly excited for you to see whatever it was inside the pendant.

You looked at him and teased him for his corniness, “I swear to Valhalla if there’s a picture of you and me in there-”

“Just open it.” Loki interrupted and rolled his eyes at you.

You gave him a lopsided grin but complied and pushed the little indentation on the side to open the heart.

To your surprise however instead of it just opening like a normal pendant would the whole necklace transformed into a rapier as soon as you opened it.

You looked at the now golden rapier in your hand in fascination. You didn’t understand the physics of it all considering the mass of the rapier was much increased than what you imagined the necklace’s to be. But then you remembered it was Loki who had given you the rapier and so you chalked it up to magic.

You turned to face Loki and found him already looking at you with just the biggest of smiles on his face at your reaction. You truly were speechless at how thoughtful his gift had been. You just opened and closed your mouth a bunch trying to come up with something to say but nothing coherent came out.

Loki gave you an adoring laugh, “I take it you like it then?”

“I love it!” You exclaimed holding the rapier closer to you.

“There’s a button under here,” He said showing you the small button on the hilt of the weapon under the curve, “If you press it- and then twist the handle like so,” His hand was holding one of yours showing you how to do it.

And once you had twisted the handle the rapier turned back into the necklace.

You let out a child-like laugh, “Loki this is- I don’t-….I don’t know what to say!”

“Good thing you don’t have to say anything then.” He replied.

You were sure you were looking at him much too lovingly but you just couldn’t help it! You didn’t want to either. You wanted him to know how much you appreciated the gift and the thought. You couldn’t figure out how to do it with words so you just pulled him into a hug.

Your head instantly settled on his shoulder and Loki seemed to be a bit taken aback by the hug, “Well I have to say this is going much more nicer than I initially imagined it would.” He laughed and wrapped his hands around you.

“Thank you so much, this was very sweet of you.” You spoke against his shoulder- you didn’t know whether it was usual for people to get so emotional over these things but you didn’t dwell on it.

You knew Loki could tell just how frustrated you were at the current situation. He didn’t get you the gift because you were together now- he got it to cheer you up. Just like when he had convinced you to go that party that night. You could almost feel your heart swell at the realization of just how much he cared about you.

You pulled your face off of his shoulder and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, “You have no idea how much this means to me.”

And with your words for the first time ever in your life you saw a hint of red dusting across Loki’s face. “It’s, uh it’s quite alright. I just thought you might like it.” He said sounding almost a little shy.

“It shall be my most treasured possession.” You said with a grin before holding the necklace up to him, “Do you mind?”

Loki nodded along and took the necklace from your hands as you turned around a little so that your back was facing him now. He brushed your hair out of the way before securing the necklace around your neck. One of his hands remained on your back as you turned back around with a big grin on your face.

“I’m never taking this thing off.”

* * *

You were laid down on your bed staring at the ceiling as you absentmindedly played with the necklace you were wearing. There really wasn’t much for you to do around here unless you wanted to socialize with a bunch of people or go to a bunch of meaningless parties. You weren’t allowed to get out of the building you were in and even then there were only a few places you could go.

You felt like a prisoner in fact you were a prisoner. You couldn’t keep up with this much longer. Loki kept saying he had a plan and that you would just have to trust him and give him some time- and while you did trust him you weren’t big on the time part. But because you didn’t have any other options you had to play along with that one.

Where was he anyway? You thought to yourself. He was supposed to be back before sunset and it had already gotten dark outside an hour or so ago. It wasn’t as if you were worried for him or anything you knew he could take care of himself- it was just that you were bored and frustrated.

You could rely on him to take your mind off of your worries for a while, but he couldn’t very well do that when he wasn’t here could he?

Just when you were about to get too fed up with his absence- you heard him enter into the room as he shut the door behind him using much more force than he usually would.

“Someone’s not in a good mood.” You commented.

You just heard him let out a wearied sigh, “That’s probably because I just had a conversation with my brother.”

Your body instantly sat itself up on the bed at that, “Thor’s here?” You asked clearly surprised and excited at the news.

“Yes.”

“He’s here? Like in the building? In Sakaar?” Your enthusiasm was only getting increased by the second and you were well out of the bed and on your feet now.

“You’re awfully happy to hear that.” Loki commented eyeing you skeptically.

You didn’t have the presence of mind to pay much attention to that however, “Of course I’m happy!” You exclaimed with a laugh, “Thor’s here that means we have a chance at getting out of this place!”

You received a much affronted look from Loki in return, “You think he has a better chance at getting you out of here than I do?” He asked.

You realized this may be a sensitive topic for him and perhaps jumping up to your feet with joyful questions about Thor may not have been the reaction he was expecting when he entered the room. But how could you have possibly helped it! Thor was here and it was the best news you’ve heard in days.

“Come on now Loki,” You said moving closer to him and taking his hands in yours. “This is good news! Things are starting to look up.”

“So you _do_ think he has a better chance of getting you back to Asgard?” He scoffed.

You took in a deep breath. You _did_ think Thor had a better chance at getting you out of here but how do tell that to Loki without hurting his feelings?

You spoke your next words cautiously, “I just think he has a bit more urgency than you and therefore can get us out of here faster.”

Loki gave you an incredulous laugh, “His plan is to get killed trying to fight Grandmaster’s champion in order to win his freedom-”

Your brows instantly rose at his words and he seemed to have caught his mistake as well seeing as he didn’t finish his words.

“He’s gonna do what?” You asked calmly trying to keep your anger in check- your hands moving away from his.

“(Y/N) I can explain-”

“No, say that again.” You interrupted him before continuing pointedly, “What is he going to do?”

You saw Loki’s jaw clench but you were way too pissed to care about that right now.

“He’s gonna fight Grandmaster’s champion in hopes of winning his freedom.”

“He can do that?” You asked him your voice getting closer and closer to that of pure anger. “He can just _fight_ someone into winning his freedom?”

You couldn’t believe Loki right now. To think he would keep that important of an information from you.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You asked.

“You didn’t ask.”

“Don’t bullshit me right now Loki!” Your anger finally made its way out and you yelled at him. “I can’t believe you would do that to me!”

“What? You can’t believe I would try and protect you from fighting someone who has killed hundreds of people?” He countered back defensively, his voice raising as well.

“That’s not your decision to make.”

“I was just trying to protect you.”

“I’m not yours to protect!” You yelled out in frustration. Loki gave you a hurt look but you were far too angry with him to feel guilty about it, “I am not some helpless little child that needs your protecting Loki.” You started, maing sure that he could tell just how pissed off you were right now by your voice.

“I am the Commander of Asgard and my people _need_ me. And you would rather I sit around and play house with you when your sister’s out there destroying my home and my people?”

“I understand that you’re angry-”

“I’m livid.”

“I understand that.” He said taking cautious steps towards you before his hands came up to hold your arms. You let him but refused to meet his eyes.

“But you’re the only one I have.” He said repeating your words from that night, “I couldn’t have survived loosing you because of your stubbornness.”

His words softened you a bit but not nearly enough to just forgive him. It wasn’t just that he kept it all from you that angered you but it was also the fact that he thought you incompetent enough to take on whoever this champion was in the first place.

“Do you honestly think I’m that weak?” You asked still rigid but at least you had managed to stop the yelling.

“I would rather not find out.” He answered sincerely.

You scoffed at him unbelievingly before getting yourself out of his hold, “There were about a million better ways you could’ve phrased that without pissing me off you know.” You said, still furious at him before you made your way over to your bed.

You laid down on it pulling the covers over you. Your body may not want to sleep right now but you had to. You needed your sleep if you wanted to find Thor and get out of this garbage planet soon.

“What are you doing?” You heard Loki ask, he seemed to have not moved from his place.

“Sleeping.” You replied shortly. You weren’t exactly in the mood to talk to him any longer.

You heard him move towards your bed and you spoke up when you felt him sit down on the edge of it, you could hear him untying his shoes, “You’re not allowed to sleep in my bed tonight, I’m still angry at you so go back to yours.” You said plainly.

“Come on (Y/N) you can’t be-”

“ _Goodnight_ Loki.”


	20. Chapter 20

You found yourself waking up in the middle of that night- bleary eyed.

It wasn’t unusual for to wake up at this hour and in fact you mostly always did- usually to get yourself some water. But tonight it wasn’t just because you wanted some water of course, this time it was also because of the rather unlikeable emptiness in your bed.

You hadn’t realized it but you had gotten strangely used to having Loki sleeping beside you in the past week. You missed having him to hold on to and you missed the sound of his heartbeat to fall asleep to. You let out a tired sigh before getting out of your bed and making your way to the shelf nearby that had a jar of water for you.

Pouring yourself a cup you gulped it all down in one go. Being a half-frost giant had its perks- never having to deal with warm water was just one of them.

Your thoughts drifted off to Loki as you stood leaned against that shelf with the now empty glass in your hand as you watched him sleeping in his bed.

What he had done was infuriating. If it had been anyone else other than him you had no doubt you would never forgive them- but Loki? Gods you knew you _had_ to forgive him. You couldn’t hold it against him for long- you wanted to but you knew you wouldn’t be able to.

Just trying to protect you, you thought to yourself with a scoff. It wasn’t his job to protect you! You didn’t _need_ his protection you could very well take care of yourself and it hurt that he couldn’t see that.

However your bed still felt much too empty without him and so even though you would have liked to be angry at him for a little longer you reluctantly made your way over to his bed and slid down beside him.

He was probably too busy sleeping to notice anyways, you argued as you pulled lightly at the covers and got under them.

“Hey,” he said softly before turning around to face you. Apparently he wasn’t asleep.

“It’s a bit late for you to still be awake now isn’t it?” You commented perhaps a little coldly.

“I couldn’t sleep without you.” You face heated up at his rather simple reply and the fact that he couldn’t see your blush in the dark was of much comfort to you.

“Yeah well I slept like a baby without you.” You retorted.

“And is that why you’re in my bed right now in the middle of the night?” Loki asked back teasingly.

You rolled your eyes at him finding yourself without any counterargument to that. So you decided to just change the conversation, “Do you wanna talk about it? Your conversation with Thor?”

A better friend would have probably asked him that earlier when she would have seen him enter the room in distress; but then again a better friend wouldn’t have kept the fact that you could win your freedom by fighting your way to it either.

So you guessed both of you were worse friends than you would like to give yourselves credit for.

“Are you not angry with me anymore?” He asked skeptically.

“I am.” You replied.

A moment passed between the two of you before he realized you weren’t going to elaborate any further on that so he continued, “I’m afraid there’s not much to talk about. I tried to get him to see things my way but he wouldn’t budge. He was far too angry with me I suppose.”

You wanted to tell him that Thor probably didn’t see things his way because his way demanded too much time than anyone could spare but you realized you’d rather not have another argument with him right now. So you instead settled on, “He was angry with me the last time I spoke him to him too.”

You felt Loki shift beside you so that he was propped up on one of his arms now in order to look at you better. You still refused to face him though and instead chose to just stare up onto the ceiling.

“The last time you spoke to him?” He asked.

“Yeah, when we were looking for you back in Midgard.”

“You never told me about that?” He asked and you couldn’t help but divert your eyes to him to give him a deeply offended look.

“You’re one to talk.”

“(Y/N),” He started exasperatedly, “I was just trying to protect you.”

“And why do you think I need your protection in the first place?” You shot back at him.

You heard Loki huff out a breath before his free arm went around your middle and he pulled you towards him. “I care about you (Y/N), I couldn’t just let you enter a battle to your death.”

You turned on your side now so that you were fully facing him and you pushed his hand away from you in annoyance, “That’s not your decision to make!” You told him irritably.

“I need to get out of here Loki; I need to get back to my people.”

“Even if you have to risk your life for it?” He sounded frustrated but so were you.

“I’m their Commander you idiot that’s what I do!” You replied with a half hearted laugh your hand coming up to his cheek. How could he not see how important this was to you?

“What about me?” He asked you in a low voice- sounding terribly vulnerable. A quizzical look crossed your face before he continued, “You would give your life for your people—but what about me?”

“I’d give my life for you too.” You stated- the fact that you were confused at his words evident in your voice.

Loki let out an incredulous laugh and shook his head at you, “I don’t want you to die (Y/N) that’s the whole point! Not for me, not for anyone.”

A look of realization dawned on you at his words. It seemed so obvious in retrospect; why didn’t you realize it sooner? He was trying to protect you not because he thought you _needed_ it but because he cared about you.

“I- uh,” You started without really knowing where you were going with this. “I understand why you kept it from me.” You said and a small smile made its way to Loki’s face but you continued before he could interrupt you, “That doesn’t mean I’m okay with it.”

“I get that you care about me and feel like you need to protect me but I’m always going to be in danger and I’m always going to do everything in my power to help my people even if it means giving my life for them one day. And there’s _nothing_ you can do to change that. Getting in my way and keeping things from me, lying to me? It will only make me get mad at you and push you away.” You spoke before turning to look at Loki.

He looked rather regretful and sad but he gave you a nod, “I understand and I’m sorry.”

A small playful smile tugged at your lips and you rolled your eyes at him, “No you’re not.”

“Not I’m not,” He admitted with the same smile, “I can’t say I’m sorry for lying to you but I _am_ sorry for how it made you feel.” He said and took a pause before continuing, “And I promise I won’t keep things from you anymore.”

You gave him a skeptical look, “You promise?”

“Cross my heart,” he said with a grin before his hand moved up to take hold of your jaw and he pulled your lips down to his.

You complied with a smile.

He gave you the softest, most chaste kiss anyone has ever given you before he pulled away slightly, “No secrets.” He whispered and this time you weren’t so skeptic of his words.

“No secrets.” You repeated with a grin of your own, before pulling him back in by your hold on his face and connecting his lips back to yours. Chasteness be damned.

The kiss you shared was passionate and eager, your hands moving to tangle themselves in his hair as if they had a mind of their own. You brashly pulled him further closer to you his arms finding their place around your waist. You hated fighting with him you truly did and were just all too pleased to have the argument over with.

However when you tried and deepen the kiss further he pulled away hesitantly making your furrow your brows in confusion, “Is everything alright?” You asked.

“I-uh it’s just,” He started and he seemed uncertain.

“Whatever it is you can tell me you know that right?” You said giving his arm a reassuring squeeze.

He bit his lip still hesitant but he continued, “Did you mean what you said earlier?”

You could only just give him a quizzical look in return.

His voice was timid when he spoke his next words, “About this being just a game of house for you?”

You cringed at his- your words that you had said to him earlier. “I didn’t mean that.”

He looked unconvinced, “Then why did you say it?”

“I was angry,” You explained rather desperately, “I shouldn’t have said it; I didn’t think you’d pay much attention to it.”

Truth was, when you were angry your brain seems to just not comprehend your words before supplying it to your mouth. You didn’t mean what you said- of course you didn’t! It still didn’t change the fact that your words had made Loki feel bad- that they had made him doubtful of what the two of you had.

“That’s all I’ve been able to think about honestly.” He replied his eyes moving away from yours.

“Loki of course this isn’t just a stupid game for me!” You insisted taking his face in your hands so he would have to look at you, “I care about you more than I’ve ever cared about anyone before- more than I ever thought I could care about someone!”

You watched Loki’s face break into a small yet genuine smile at your words and you imagined you had a matching one yourself, “I say stupid things when I’m angry please don’t ever doubt my feelings for you because of that.”

“You know you could just not say those stupid things instead?”

“Now you’re just being unreasonable.”


	21. Chapter 21

_Holy goddamned fucking shit._

That was the only thing going through your mind as you watched Thor fight the Grandmaster’s champion- The Incredible Hulk. You were clutching onto Loki’s hands beside you for the entirety of it except for that one bit where he basically jumped up onto his feet with glee when The Hulk slammed Thor around with his hold on his leg. You only gave Loki an exasperated look that said, ‘seriously?’ at that because your mind was way too preoccupied with its concern for Thor to do anything else.

You had to admit Thor was holding his own very well against the Hulk even without Mjolnir- of course he was, he was a fucking God.

A small, tiny part of you wondered what would have happened if Loki hadn’t kept the fact that you could fight The Hulk into winning your freedom out of this place away from you. However you were far too vain to admit that you may not have been able to win in a fight against this hulking giant of a man. Therefore you weren’t going to thank Loki for more or less saving your life anytime soon.

The tide of the fight however changed drastically as soon as Thor got the living shit beat out of him and then electricity started cackling through him and he threw a lightning filled punch on the Hulk. The whole stadium fell silent.

“I didn’t know he could do that.” You had whispered to Loki. Thor was glowing with raw electric energy even his eyes were filled with it.

“Me neither.” was Loki’s reply- he himself seemed _shocked_ at the sudden turn of events.

After that you had no doubt in your mind that Thor was going to obliterate his opponent and it seemed like the crowd held the same notion as well. A small grin had formed on your face by then- if Thor managed to win this thing he would be free to leave and you knew you would find some way to sneak away. There was finally an actual chance of you getting out of here.

However it seemed the Grandmaster had other plans because of course that fucker did. Just as the new and improved lightning laden Thor was making his way to The Hulk preferably to land in a winning punch you saw The Grandmaster point his remote control thingy in Thor’s general direction- and just like that Thor went limp and fell onto the ground.

The Hulk jumped up into the sky and you instinctively got off from the couch with a noise of protest. Loki’s hand instantly going around you to hold you back- as if you could’ve down anything anyway.

“Don’t.” He told you simply, steering you back to the couch.

“But he’s going to-” You started, sounding rather pathetic.

“It’s Thor, he’ll live.”

And he did. Even after being on the receiving end of getting smashed/punched by a behemoth of a man falling from some 100 feet off the ground.

Yup you could have never survived fighting The Hulk- even if you would never admit it to Loki. 

That fight had been the last one for the night so you and Loki didn’t have to stay for any longer- something that was of much delight to you. Again, watching people fight each other to death was not your idea of a fun time.

Loki made some small talk with the Grandmaster and some other people and you stood around in a corner being all broody for a while before the two of you finally left. 

You had a lot on your mind right now. It was as if seeing Thor had ignited the fire within you that wanted so desperately for you to get back to your people. You knew you could barely do anything on your own- you may have been able to get out of here without any help if you tried but then what? You could never face Hela alone and have even the tiniest bit of a winning chance.

But with Thor and especially that charged up high on electricity Thor? Asgard may just have a chance.

You wanted to go and find Thor as soon as you had left the Grandmaster’s viewing chambers but Loki managed to convince you otherwise.

“It’s impossible to get out of here (Y/N), the Grandmaster may say you can win your freedom but considering what you and I both just saw it’s safe to say that isn’t the case. He’s a maniac that likes owning people! I have a plan and it may take a while but I assure you it’s going to work; I just need you to trust me, my dear.” He had said.

You did trust him. You trusted him to care enough about you to get back to Asgard and fight Hela but you also trusted him to _not_ care about the people of Asgard- not like you and Thor did anyway. You couldn’t wait around for him to overthrow the Grandmaster- no you needed a better plan.

You didn’t tell him the same however. You tried protesting a little to his demands so he wouldn’t get suspicious but in the end you agreed to wait. And to be fair you did wait. You waited until the correct moment presented itself.

Lucky for you it only took until the following afternoon for that correct moment to arrive.

“Promise me you won’t do anything stupid.” Loki said with a sigh as he got up from the bed the two of you had been resting on.

A hologram of the Grandmaster’s had just appeared over the city announcing the escape of a certain _seductive_ \- his words not yours, Lord of Thunder as well as the Grandmaster’s beloved champion. If Thor had managed to escape that meant you had be quick and find him so you could hitch a ride out of this garbage planet with him.

“I’m not going to do anything stupid because you’re coming with me.” You replied swiftly and got up to your feet as well.

Before Loki could say anything however you heard the door to your room opening behind. Your head instantly turned to the side to see who it was- a guard. “The Grandmaster requires your immediate presence.”

“Both of us?” You asked.

“Just the trickster.”

You shared a look with Loki- it wasn’t a big mystery why The Grandmaster would suddenly want to see Loki moments after Thor disappeared along with the Hulk. You raised an eyebrow at him- the two of you could easily take the guard and make a run for it right now.

But Loki just shook his head at you, “I’ll be there in a moment.” He said to the guard but he kept his eyes on you.

“ _Don’t_ do anything stupid.” He told you much more pointedly this time before turning around to leave.

You grabbed one of his hands almost instinctively and pulled him towards you taking his face in your hand and brought his lips to yours. You kissed him a little more keenly than you had originally planned to but you weren’t complaining and it seemed neither was Loki as his hands immediately came around your waist to pull you closer as he kissed you back- just as keenly.

“Don’t die.” You said to him after you had pulled away from his lips.

He just gave you a small teasing smile and bit his lower lip, “Would you look at that- she does have a heart.”

You rolled your eyes at him and pushed at his chest and gave him a tight lipped smile, “Fuck you.”

The smile on his face remained as he walked away to the door. Just as he was about to shut the door behind him you felt something on your left wrist- Loki’s magic. A genuine smile made its way to your face when you brought your hand up to find your handcuff- the one from your Asgardian armor with the shield, appearing around your wrist with a ray of green magic trailing behind.

* * *

You had to act fast now.

You had never missed your Asgardian armor more than you did right now. You were currently wearing a flowy blush pink dress with a slit in the right leg- not the most ideal outfit to have on while planning on escaping a highly fortified building. Not to mention even if you did get out of here you would have no idea where to find Thor.

One thing at time, you told yourself. First you get out of here then worry about finding Thor and coming up with a plan to get yourself, Thor and Loki out of here.

You didn’t have any of your weapons and blades on you- not even the one’s you kept up your sleeves. Partly because the dress didn’t have any sleeves and partly because you weren’t allowed to have your blades on your person. All you had was the shield Loki magicked on your wrist minutes ago. Wait Loki- your hands went up to the necklace he had given you.

Just a shield and a rapier and gods know how many guards in your way? This should be fun.

Your room was on the ‘guest’ floor of the building and because only the Grandmaster’s guests stayed on this floor there weren’t any guards. But neither was an elevator precisely so none of the ‘guests’ would run away. You made your way to the staircase.

Two armed guards were standing at the bottom of it with their backs to you and they seemed to have fortunately not noticed you yet. But you were never one for stealth. You jogged your way down the stairs activating your shield and pulling at the necklace around your neck and pushing it open and into a rapier.

The guards instantly turned around with their guns raised but you were fast as you tossed the rapier in your hand so you were now holding it by the tip of its blade and you threw it at one of the guards impaling her shoulder as you kicked her down on the ground.

Turning to other guard you saw his grip on the gun tightening presumably because he was about to fire but you didn’t give him the chance. Your hand gripped onto the front of his uniform and you shoved him against the wall behind him as your other hand knocked the gun out of his hold.

“You don’t have clearance to have access to this floor.” The guard said and you gave him a smirk.

Pulling at him you flipped him down onto the ground on his back and crouched down on your knee beside him. “You don’t say.” You said before knocking him out with a punch.

You pulled out the rapier out of the other guards shoulder without wasting any time and snagged her gun as well. You were never one for guns; swords just always suited you better. But given the fact that you only really had one other proper weapon on you as of right now- you decided you weren’t going to be picky.

You stuck your rapier down the thin but snug belt of your dress as you made your way down the hallway and to the elevator- your shield was down as well as it allowed you to hold the gun better. Were you better with a gun than your usual a blade and a shield combo? No. No you weren’t. But the gun provided an advantage of distance.

The same proved to be true as soon as you encountered a couple more guards- 4 to be exact. You were able to take one of them down by shooting at his thigh. Dodging the series of fires coming your way you took cover behind a wall. You tried shooting at the guards but missed terribly and instead blew off some doors and walls. You kept firing some more still to no success your current position was proving to be of much disadvantage.

Deciding you needed a better cover you activated your shield into a full body one and moving forward so you could have a better vantage point you lodged the shield down on the ground making the floor crack a little- but at least you had a better cover now.

The guards were closing in on you but you shot another one of them before your gun ran out of shots.

“Are you kidding me right now?” You cursed out loud in frustration before throwing the gun away and transforming your shield back to a normal sized one.

You ran up to one of the guards dodging her fires on your way. Using the wall beside you for leverage you kicked yourself off and jumped onto the guard landing a punch right to her face. Your leg hooked itself to her shoulder- which was considerably easier to do thanks to the slit of your dress. Kicking the gun off her hand with your other leg you used your gravity to turn the two of you around as the guard fell down on the ground on her back and her head knocked against the tiled floor with much force.

You noticed the number of guards must have increased seeing as there were now much more than what you had counted before.

Fuck.

One of them was coming at you and you swiped your leg towards his making him fall down with a thud. You quickly pulled away at the gun of the now unconscious guard before you. Fortunately her gun still had some shots left. Using your shield to protect you against the shots being send your way you fired at the guards that were now more or less surrounding you save for the wall behind you.

You took down a fair number of them before one of them managed to shorten the distance between her and yourself. You barely had the state of mind to take her into account as she sent a punch your way. Your shield was way too pre-occupied taking the hit from all the firepower and she punched you square on the face.

Her hand wrapped around your neck as she lifted you off the ground nearly choking you before she pushed you back into a massive ground to ceiling window nearby. It cracked but not enough to actually break. The gun was knocked out of your hand but you jabbed your shield that was still attached to your hand down at the base of her neck and kicked up into her stomach.

You fell down on the ground at once as she lost her grip on you. You choked out a cough as you tried to catch back your breath but you didn’t have much time as the guard pulled herself back up. You were quick to get up to your feet as well and hastily pulled out your rapier sinking it into her at once.

You didn’t even have time to compose yourself back up when you noticed another one of them running up to you in full speed. You let out a very tired and shaky breath before moving away and towards the guard a little before planting down your feet firmly.

As soon as he was within an arm’s reach of you, you dodged away from his punch and grabbed him from the waist and shoulder and hurled him at the window. It broke instantly at the force and sent the guard flying down. You were well aware of the fact that you were panting now but there were a dozen more guards ready for you.

A couple of them appeared to be reloading their weapons but regardless if you wanted to get to the elevator you had fight your way through all of them with just a fucking rapier and a shield. And that was just getting to the elevator.

You made a spur of the moment decision as you peeked down the window turning your shield into a full body one to protect you from the guards’ constant firing. Gritting your teeth perhaps a little disgruntled at your decision you ran up to the window, your shield right in front of you as you jumped out of the gaping big hole- your whole body against the shield and your free hand around your rapier to make sure it didn’t fly off.

This had to be the stupidest decision you had made in a while.

You landed onto the rock hard ground against your shield- the wind getting knocked out of your lungs as was expected given you just fucking jumped out of at least a dozen stories.

Should’ve just taken the goddamned elevator; you thought to yourself.


	22. Chapter 22

Your shield had managed to do a decent enough job at breaking your fall and you didn’t really sustain any real injuries. You really were fine for someone who just jumped out of a building in a flimsy dress and no real armor- save for a single shield. That is without taking into account the erratic pounding of your heart inside your chest even after you pulled yourself off the ground, and a scratched up left knee. They were still just the usual foreseeable aftermaths though- ones you could easily put up with.

You were not at all concerned about the guards as you were fairly certain they would have bigger things to worry about than some runaway like yourself.

The streets were perfectly crowded with swarms of Sakaarians celebrating the Hulk some of them donning masks or banners others throwing green pigment into the sky. It took you a fair amount of time to find Thor though you still found him faster than you had anticipated. Perhaps it was so because you had the gaze of an eagle or perhaps it was because Thor stuck out like a sore thumb in the crowds. Who’s to say?

Thor was generally a pretty easy guy to spot but especially so when surrounded by the Sakaarians whilst still in his Asgardian armor. Not to mention the man he was with, whom you’d correctly guessed to be Banner. Loki had told you a fair bit about The Midgardian Avengers and it wasn’t that hard to put two and two together. Between Thor’s Asgardian attire and Banner’s Midgardian one it was fair to say they did not fit in with the crowd.

However that was not the case with the lady they were with. You had crossed paths with her before but never been formally introduced although you still knew her to be a Scrapper. You decided not to waste any time and approached the trio as soon as you spotted them.

Thor didn’t seem much surprised at your presence and you realized Loki must’ve told him about you earlier when they’d talked. Or you know he saw you back when he was fighting The Hulk. Either or.

You on the other hand were quite taken aback by him.

“Stop staring at my hair.” Thor told you for the second time in the last five minutes. The four of you as you understood it were walking to the Scrapper’s home. Your first instinct was to not trust the woman because of course it was and you still weren’t sure how you were to believe she was on your side but Thor seemed to trust her enough and you trusted Thor so you complied. It was better than being out and about in the streets you guessed.

“I’m not staring at your hair.” You lied again and diverted your eyes away from his hair- which you very much were staring at.

You couldn’t help it! It was Thor- with short hair! You weren’t saying it was a bad look on him personally you couldn’t care less about the length of his hair. However it was quite the weird change.

A few seconds passed between the two of you wherein you purposefully made yourself focus on everywhere else but at Thor when he interrupted the silence, “It’s just hair!” He sounded very much annoyed.

“I didn’t even look at it this time!” You instantly countered in your defense.

“You were thinking about it!”

Before you could say anything in rebuttal the Scrapper lady turned around and snapped at the two of you, “Keep it down will you?”

You bit back a reply of protest considering you weren’t even the one being loud and you heard Thor let out a grumble of annoyance. “It’s still the same hair,” He murmured back to you, “Just- just shorter.” From his tone it sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than you.

“Yeah just a little trimmed.” You replied matching his volume and trying to sound as supportive as you could before your eyes wandered onto the sides and you added hesitantly, “And you know with- is that a triangle on your scalp?” You wouldn’t have been able to keep the surprise form your voice even if had you tried.

You could tell Thor was about to yell something at you at a much louder volume than the lady would have appreciated and therefore hastily changed the subject, “Who’s that woman anyway and why do you trust her?”

She was walking a few steps ahead of you two, Banner beside her and your voice was low enough that she shouldn’t be able to hear you unless she was trying to.

Thor’s reply was simple and to the point though you could still pick up on the slight giddiness in his voice, “She’s a Valkyrie!”

Your hands instantly tensed up into fists beside you and the slight stutter in your walk was short but noticeable. Had you any less self control you might have even jumped at his words. _A Valkyrie? How could that be?_

Thor obviously noticed the sudden change in your demeanor, “Are you alright Commander (Y/N)?”

You turned to look at him shaking your head a little, trying to clear up your scattered thoughts into a better coherent state, “Yeah it’s just,” You started, hoping you sounded as genuine as possible, “I thought they were just fairytales?”

“Yeah well we thought the Dark Elves were just fairytales too didn’t we?” Thor replied with a laugh.

You gave him a small chuckle in reply finding yourself at a loss for words. And it seemed you didn’t need any either- the four of you had just entered an establishment that you assumed was where the Scrapper- the Valkyrie lived.

You noticed Banner had started rambling about how graceful and valiant and inspiring the woman was at some point- you couldn’t blame him. A Valkyrie should have that effect on a Midgardian such as himself you guessed.

You walked down a hallway before you finally came to a stop in front of a big door and Valkyrie turned around seemingly to address the three of you.

“Look I’ve spent years in a haze trying to forget my past,” She started and sounded quite exhausted. Not like she was tired of anything in particular- just _utterly exhausted_. “Sakaar seemed like the best place to drink and forget and die one day.”

You desperately wanted to ask her what exactly was it that she wanted to forget but you didn’t want to be intrusive so you held back.

“I was thinking that you drink too much, and that was going to kill you.” Thor asked with a hint of humor in his voice.

“Well I don’t plan to stop drinking,” she deadpanned in response, “but I don’t want to forget. I can’t turn away anymore. So, if I’m gonna die, well it may as well be driving my sword through the heart of that murderous hag.”

 _The murderous hag?_ You asked yourself in your head. Was she talking about Hela? Wait did Hela-

“Was it Hela that’s responsible for the death of the Valkyries then?” You blurted out before you could comprehend your words, “I’m sorry that was rude of me,” You started quite flustered. You couldn’t just go around asking people that! “I shouldn’t have-”

The Valkyrie interrupted you however, “Who’s the girl again?” She asked Thor as if you weren’t standing right there.

“She’s the Commander of Asgard.” Thor replied swiftly.

She moved her eyes to give you a considering glace before continuing with a smirk, “Are you really that horny for the throne?”

Okay you probably deserved that for bringing up what you could only imagine was a sensitive topic for her but you weren’t just going to let her say that to you now were you? “Well I mean,” You started, bringing a hand up to scratch the back of your neck, “I did betray the throne _twice_ in the last decade so.”

“That’s right she did.” Thor nodded along.

“Well three times actually.” You added recalling about the time you tried to break Loki out when he was technically an ‘enemy to the crown’.

The Valkyrie gave you an appreciative smile, which was very different than the look Thor had given you. It was somewhere between a mix of surprise, confusion and maybe even slight offence.

“I only know about two. Are you sure you committed treason thrice?”

“Yes. I must have not told you about the first one.” You replied with a shrug before continuing in a reassuring tone, “And to be fair I didn’t succeed so does it even count?”

Thor let out an unbelievable laugh, “Of course it counts!”

“Honestly Thor don’t worry about it.”

“Don’t worry about it?” He enunciated as if annoyed you just rolled your eyes at him but before you could make a smartass comment The Valkyrie interrupted you two quite pointedly.

“Well _regardless_ of however many times your Commander has committed treason what I’m saying is that I wanna be on the team.”

“The team?” You asked this was the first you were hearing about any team of sorts.

“Yeah I’m putting together a team to you know stop Hela.” Thor replied.

What you wanted to tell him was that he didn’t need some team to stop Hela he would need an army but instead you settled on, “Cool does it have a name?”

“Yeah uh um it’s called uh-” Thor stuttered around for a while- obviously he hadn’t thought of a name and you were almost glad he hadn’t. You were going to fight Hela not forma a troupe- a name wasn’t necessary. “The Revengers.” Thor finally answered

“Revengers?” The Valkyrie asked.

Great you had a name now-a name and four people to fight Hela just what you needed.

“Because Commander (Y/N) and I are getting Revenge,” Thor reasoned, “You’re getting Revenge.” He stated gesturing towards The Valkyrie before turning towards Banner, “Do you want Revenge?” And all you could think about was what the fuck would Banner want revenge for.

“I’m undecided.” He replied uncertainly.

“Also,” The Valkyrie quipped in with a grin, “I’ve got a peace offering.”

* * *

The door to the Valkyrie’s home opened with a faint but prominent sound of machinery whirring. And there sat up against the wall bound up in chains waiting for you was none other than Loki himself. You let out a wearied sigh one of your hands coming up to rub at your temples as you tried to bite back a smile.

“Surprise.” He singsonged. You weren’t surprised really- of course Loki would get in trouble with a goddamned Valkyrie.

As the four of you entered the room Thor picked up some trinket from nearby and tossed it at Loki hitting him straight on the top of his head.

“Ow.” was all he said and sounded more affronted than hurt.

“Just had to be sure.” Thor replied in answer before moving to join the Valkyrie in whatever she was doing. You however made your way closer to Loki.

“I have to say _my dear_ , I rather enjoy the sight of you all chained up in front of me.” You commented cheekily.

“Are you going to do something about it then?” He added matching your tone. You just rolled your eyes at him with a shake of your head.

Just then Banner had appeared beside you looking rather on edge and uneasy. Probably because of those tight pants he kept complaining about.

“Hello Bruce.” Loki spoke plainly and then you remembered Banner’s last interaction with Loki back on Midgard that Loki had told you all about. Perhaps it wasn’t _solely_ the pants.

“So last time I saw you were trying to kill everybody.” Banner asked, “Where are you at these days?”

Loki’s face remained neutral as he replied plainly, “It varies from moment to moment.”

Banner turned to look at you, “Do you know him?”

“I’m her as you Midgardians call it boyfriend actually.” Loki decided to reply for you.

Banner raised his eyebrows at you in question and you promptly replied, “This is my first time meeting him.”

Loki just gave you look that said ‘seriously?’ and you returned back a teasing smile moving to stand closer to him with your right side leaned against the wall. Banner had went away to join Thor and the Valkyrie now as well leaving you to be the only person within five feet of Loki.

“If you want me tell people we’re together stop acting like you want to kill everyone sweetheart.” You told him with a smirk.

Loki just rolled his eyes at you, “You’re insufferable sometimes my dear.” He retorted a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“Whatever, you love it.” You replied with a laugh before turning your head slightly to address the people behind you, “Hey can anyone unshackle my _boyfriend_ here please?”

You didn’t miss the full fledged smile that made its way to Loki’s face at your use of the Midgardian word.

“You’re courting my brother Commander (Y/N)?”

“You’re fucking him? You know there are a lot of other options out there other than Lackey?”

“So you do know him!”

A flurry of words were sent your way and you just scrunched your face up in annoyance. Why can’t people just mind their own goddamned business every once in a while.

“Yes, Thor I am courting your brother. Yes, the Valkyrie lady I don’t know the name of, I am fucking Loki. Yes Banner I do know him.” You replied calmly before adding, “But quite frankly we have better things to talk about other than my love life right now.”

“So,” You said with a clap of your hands, “How do we get out of this trash bag of a planet and back to Asgard.”


	23. Chapter 23

You suppressed a sigh of annoyance as you worked at freeing your boyfriend- as he had so eloquently put it, from the chains he was tied up in. There were about three different locks holding the chains together and the Valkyrie had given you a big bunch of keys with no clear indication of which exact three you needed.

“Figure it out.” She had said before you rather grumpily moved Loki and yourself to the dining/kitchenette area in the hopes of getting some semblance of privacy. 

“Surely it can’t really be that difficult to unlock a few locks my dear.” Loki commented in a tired voice.

“Shut up Loki.” was your simple reply.

Honestly if you didn’t like him as much as you did you would have left him behind without a second thought.

Loki only allowed there to be barely half a minute of silence before he piped up again with another question. “Why does your dress have patches of green on it?”

“I threw a bucketful of green pigment on myself because I wanted to wear my lover’s color.” You answered in annoyance, voice heavily dripping with sarcasm.

“I recall you once saying something along the lines of me not owning any colors.” He sounded amused and even though you couldn’t confirm it right now due to the fact that his back was to you- you knew he was smirking like an ass because you could more or less hear it in his voice.

“And I recall you fretting over me doing something stupid just hours ago yet you’re the one in chains right now.” You shot back. Your reply was accompanied by a short sigh of victory as you were finally able to find the correct key to a second lock leaving you just the last one to deal with.

It wouldn’t be an overstatement to say you were an impatient person by nature and this task was truly testing you.

“Perhaps you should’ve fretted a little over the possibility of me doing something stupid then as well.”

And Loki’s constant remarks weren’t helping either.

“Perhaps I should’ve.” You replied distractedly trying to shove an obviously wrong key into the lock.

Loki must have noticed your distress but of course instead of providing any helpful commentary on it he decided to be snarky. “Really (Y/N) you’d think the Commander of Eilhenjar of all people wouldn’t get so frustrated at freeing someone from some chains.”

“Actually,” You started- the frustration in your voice hard to ignore, “The Commander of Eilhenjar is _exactly_ the kind of person who would have a problem with finding the right key in a bouquet of hundreds. Trial and error isn’t exactly a forte.”

“Stop being overdramatic, will you?”

“Oh for Valhalla’s sake,” You cursed before impulsively dropping the keys to the ground and tightening one of your hands around the lock using the other one to gather up the chains and tugged at them making it all snap into halves. The chains were definitely much more stronger than you had anticipated and left behind a burn in your palms.

But at least you didn’t have to deal with them any longer.

However what you forgot about was the simple fact that having someone tug a bundle of chains that were wrapped around your body completely would in fact hurt like a bitch. You realized the same when Loki let out a yelp of pain.

“Oh fuck did that hurt?” You asked rushing to his side in concern, your hands moving to assume a gentle hold on his arms. You were kneeling down in front of him so that the two of you were face-to-face.

“You think?” He replied and it was now his turn to be sarcastic.

“I’m terribly sorry.” You apologized quite sincerely might you add. Your hands had started to caress his arms off their own accord- something you found to be rather strange.

Your attention was however quickly diverted from that as you heard Loki speak up, “Care to kiss it alright?” He had a mischievous smile on his face and you had to stop yourself from rolling your eyes at him as a smile tugged at your own lips.

“Only if you say please.” You teased as you leaned in closer one of your hands moving up from his arm and to his cheek.

“Never.” He replied his eyes continuing to have that glint in them, refusing to break away from yours.

You gave him a tilt of your head as if disappointed though your smile remained as you leaned in closer still. Your lips were moments away from his and it was only when his eyes flickered down to them that you moved away and pressed a soft kiss to his arm that your hand had been previously nursing before doing the same with the other one.

“Better?” You asked with just about the cockiest smirk you could manage.

Loki rolled his eyes at you with a scoff, “Insufferable.”

“Who, me?”

He must have decided it wasn’t important to reply seeing as he simply just tugged you up to him his hand taking hold of your jaw as he crashed his lips to yours. You could only smile as you kissed him back. The kiss felt urgent, _impatient_ even as Loki moved his lips against yours, his touch on your jaw tightening slightly and you reciprocated his actions without thought. It almost felt like he had missed you which was absurd considering you’d only been away for a few hours.

You could however not pay that enough thought as you heard someone-

“There was a noi- ahhhhhh,” You recognized the voice to be Thor’s and his sudden intrusion made you lose your balance as you hastily broke the kiss and doubled down on Loki. “Yeah I did not need to see that- just okay.” He continued to ramble.

“What is it?” You asked perhaps a little annoyed at the situation as you pulled Loki’s hands off of you before moving away from him so you could face Thor. The two of you of course were on the floor therefore you had to look up at Thor.

He looked fairly flustered definitely far more than yourself or the person whose throat you were jamming your tongue down seconds ago.

“I-uh I well- I heard Loki scream is everything alright?”

“It was definitely better before you came in.” Loki replied.

You turned to gave him a look before returning your gaze back up at Thor to give him a proper reply, “Yeah it was nothing I was just getting him out of those chains.” You said as you gestured to the side where the now broken chains were laying.

“You broke them?” Thor asked as if exhausted.

“She wasn’t going to take them with her to Asgard anyways was she?” You defended yourself with a shrug.

Thor just let out a wearied sigh deciding to drop the topic.”Alright well if he’s free are we ready to go then?”

Loki spoke up before you could, “(Y/N) needs her armor back she can’t just fight her way through in an impractical dress and no swords. I can conjure it up for her but I’ll need a few minutes.”

You refrained yourself from giving him a quizzical look considering you knew he could magic on your armor with a flick of his hand.

“I’ll give you three minutes.”

“Do you have any idea how many blades she carries? I’ll need ten.”

“You have five.” Thor replied with a cheeky smile before he walked away.

As soon as he was gone you turned to look at Loki your hand moving to his so as to catch his attention. “Why did you say that? You don’t need even three minutes to _conjure up_ my armor. That isn’t how your magic works.”

“I need to talk to you.” He said and sounded serious.

You nodded, “What about?”

“The Valkyrie.”

And with that there was a noticeable change in the air around you two. “Is this about how you ended up pissing her off so bad that she tied you up in shackles?” You asked quietly- you had guessed Loki didn’t want Thor and the others to hear any element of this conversation.

“It’s a part of it. And before I tell you about it-”

You interrupted him however, “Let me guess, you aren’t going to come across great in the story?” Your voice was amused but patronizing still.

“Not exactly.” He replied with an unabashed charming smile.

“What did you do?”

“I may or may not have used my magic to look into her memories.”

“You did what?” You started, “Loki you can’t just-”

“Before you get mad at me,” He was quick to defend himself, “I did it for you.”

A smile threatened to break out on your lips as realization dawned upon you. You fought it however you couldn’t let him think you were condoning any of it of course. “I’m going to go on a limb and assume that the memories were about how the Valkyries died?”

Loki nodded. The execution may have been incredibly poor but the intention at least was nice.

“Well genius I already found out that it was Hela so you got your ass handed to you for no reason.”

“Well not exactly for no reason.” The lack of humor in his voice made you look up at him in concern. He looked like he was uneasy, worried- apprehensive even. You didn’t say anything allowing him to speak instead- your hand holding his a little more firmly.

“I saw her you know- Hela. She fought the Valkyries off almost effortlessly.”

Your face started breaking into a grimace as you realized what he was saying.

“That’s the Valkyries I’m talking about- an army of trained highly skilled and hyper strengthened warriors. (Y/N) we can’t-”

You decided to finish his sentence for him, “We can’t fight her and hope to win with a group of five people.”

Loki nodded, “We would need an army to even stand a chance.”

You couldn’t pretend like you weren’t thinking about the same ever since you first encountered her. She was the Goddess of Death for crying out loud- the same woman who destroyed Mjolnir as if it was some plaything.

“What are you suggesting?” You asked even though you knew very well what he was going to say. The same thing he had been saying for days.

“They have an army here in Sakaar.”

“And I have an army back in Asgard- _my_ army.” Your voice had gotten much louder in anger and annoyance but you realized Loki must have put an illusion on the two of you when no one seemed to notice through the open doorway.

You turned back to look at him his clenched jaw matching yours.

“Thor’s plan is stupid.” He spoke plainly but firmly as if he was stating a fact.

“It’s the only plan we have that might just work.” You countered instantly.

“I have a plan.”

“Loki this is not up for debate.” You groaned out in frustration, “It’ll take us weeks to overthrow The Grandmaster. Unless you have a plan that’ll get us to Asgard as soon as- if not sooner than Thor’s plan then it’s irrelevant!”

You could tell your reply and the tone of it too especially had annoyed Loki but you just couldn’t find it in yourself to care.

Not when you were just a few steps away from someone who was potentially a friend of your dead mother- the same person that had answers about what you were, like no one else did. The person you couldn’t talk about any of it to because you had bigger things on your plate.

Bigger things like the immortal psychopath who was also the ruler of the planet you were trapped in and the fucking Goddess of Death. In that order.

“So you’re saying- well yelling at me more like that Thor’s plan is better than mine?”

“Yes!” You exclaimed, “Yes that’s exactly what I’m saying because Thor’s plan doesn’t require me to let my people, my soldiers die while I look for others to replace them.”

You hadn’t realized it but you were close to tears now- it seemed like everything, all of it had came crashing down on you. The role you failed to fulfill, the promise you failed to keep the seemingly assured doom you were rushing into.

The fact that you were apparently yelling at the one person you never wanted to yell at.

“I’m sorry,” And with those words your tears finally fell. “I’m so sorry I never meant to yell at you- it’s just it’s all just too much.”

Loki instantly pulled you to him wrapping his arms around your letting you bury your face in the crook of his shoulder and you were taken aback by the warmth of his action. The tenderness of him running his fingers down your hair as he tried to comfort you.

You let out a sob.

“It’s alright I’m the one who should be sorry I shouldn’t have tried to push it.” He whispered into your hair softly.

“I just- I have to get back home as fast as I can Loki. I can’t spend another day here knowing my people are in danger.” You managed to get out in between of your sobs. You had never cried in front of another person- you had never been held so lovingly by one. Your hands tightened around his torso- it felt good to have someone care about you.

“I understand now I’m sorry.” His words were rushed as if trying to undo some damage. But you weren’t crying because he didn’t understand, you were crying because-

“I’m scared.” You admitted pathetically. You never imagined you would be able to admit it to anyone- you couldn’t even ever admit it to yourself. Why did you to him then? You didn’t understand.

“I’m scared of her- I’m scared of facing what she’s done back in Asgard and I’m scared that I’ll only get more and more terrified of it all until I face it.”

You managed to control your sobs after that- this was neither the time nor the place to cry. You felt Loki cupping your face into his hands as he moved back a little so he could look at you. You couldn’t decipher what was going inside his head. He seemed worried but also determined and perhaps even a little regretful?

He slowly pulled your face up to him before kissing you softly and slowly like he was trying to tell you something- you just couldn’t understand what.

“It’ll be alright.” He spoke gently as he pulled away from the kiss. Although his face was still comfortably close to yours. “We’ll go with Thor’s plan. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

You shook your head, “No it’s okay. I- I overreacted.” You were starting to realize how stupid and weak you must look right now. How utterly embarrassing, you remarked to yourself as you wiped away at the traces of the tears left behind.

“Come now,” Loki said his voice turning into a playful one, “We both know I’m the overreacting one in this relationship.”

You couldn’t help but smile up at him- perhaps it wasn’t so very embarrassing showing a moment of weakness in front of him.

“If you say so.” You replied your voice rather small but still matching his playful tone.

Loki just shook his head at you with an adoring smile, “Now I better get you in that armor before Thor realizes our five minutes are very well about to be up.” He said and with his words you felt his magic running over you followed by the familiar and comforting weight of your armor.

It was then when you moved your hands and came into contact with the chains Loki was previously bound by that a question popped up into your head.

Pulling yourself away from him a little so you could better look at him you asked your question, “Why couldn’t you just magic your way out of those?”

Loki gave you a confused look perhaps not really understanding the reasoning behind your inquiry. He replied still, “It’s because they’re made to restrain my magic.”

You gave his answer a thought before a smirk made its way to your face at a realization, “Why didn’t you break out of them? They’re not impossible to break by physical exertion alone as I exhibited just moments ago.”

“You are a half-Jotun and half-Valkyrie.” He tried to reason.

“But you’re a full Jotun.” You countered barely able to keep the glee of your voice in check before adding, “And a God!”

Loki just looked at you for a second before rolling his eyes at you with a shake of his head. No reply.

Your smirk widened, “Are you saying I am physically stronger than you?”

“I’m not saying anything.” was his short reply.

You however weren’t going to let him drop it so easily, “So it’s true is it? I _am_ physically stronger than a goddamned God!”


End file.
